Round Fourteen – Saints Defeat Cats, Now Face Connor MacLeod!

Only decapitation from the blade of the Highlander stands between St Kilda and immortality! Or they might lose to the Doggies…

There can be only one…undefeated team left!

And that team is…St Kilda! The Saints survived in an epic contest at Whatshishead Stadium. Thirteen wins each, two months of anticipation and no shortage of hype but the game delivered everything we all expected…perhaps more! An amazing start, great fightback from the Cats and a grandstand finish. How crazy will the build-up be to this year’s grand final if both these teams make it…please let it happen!!!

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There can be only one…reigning premier – but not for long!

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The Hawks are stuffed.

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There can be only one…Tom Cruise!

And he was at the footy on Friday night to take in some of the action between the Pies and Bombers. Katie Holmes was there too…she spent the night trying to find a back exit or open window from which she could escape! Run Katie – run for your life!!!

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There can be only one…Jim Stynes!

The former Demons star and club president faces a tough battle having been diagnosed with cancer. His team put in a performance on the weekend that befitted the emotional week for all involved at Melbourne…unfortunately, this type of performance is a rarity for the Dees.

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There can be only one…Kevin Sheedy!

The highly predictable campaign to make Sheeds the next coach of Richmond was officially launched last week after the crushing loss to St Kilda. Of course, all his supporters appear to be aged 50 or above…and his campaign manager is a guy who was so out of touch with the coaching caper twenty years ago, he got the flick from Tigerland and refused to go near the place until recently. As great a coach as Sheedy is and/or was, do any of these old dudes realise it is almost the year 2010 now?

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There can be only one…most glamorous WAG?

According to the Herald Sun’s annual footy survey, these are the types of questions us footy fans really want to know the answers to. Now I know that this particular media outlet is designed to entertain us rather than inform us so there is no point taking it seriously. But honestly…shit like this is just a waste of f@&$#ng time, isn’t it?

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There can be only one…Channel Seven!

A flashback to a classic Geelong-St Kilda match…the perfect lead-in to yesterday’s blockbuster. But what did CH7 show before this?

Yep, nothing helps builds the anticipation for a massive game of footy like…Revenge Of The Nerds 4!!!

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There can be only one…Terry Wallace!

How the hell does Terry Wallace get flooded with offers from all forms of media after his disastrous tenure at the Tigers? And is there anybody less qualified to comment on what Richmond should be doing right now than the guy who just actually effed it up over five years?

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The Games:

Magpie fans celebrate as ruckman Josh Fraser plays well and doesn’t even dog it once! Suck on that, Grant Thomas…

Well, Anzac Day seems like a lifetime away now, doesn’t it!  And nice to see our beloved media hacks working Tom Cruise references into their work as best they could! That’s right – Collingwood Cruised to victory against Essendon to open round 14 action, leaving Matthew Knights to pick up the pieces and keep Essendon in the finals hunt. At least Mark McVeigh will be fresh for the next match…unless Dean Solomon is back in town this week!

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Alright, which of you blokes have stolen the footys? We only have two and can’t afford to buy any more. Just give ‘em back, will ya’s?

Yes – Melbourne finally had a win! Yes – they did it for Jim Stynes! And yes – they showed the passion and commitment to make their supporters proud on such an emotional day! But, come on – they were playing an equally crap team who have barely won outside of Perth since Chris Judd left town. If they couldn’t win this match, then there was no hope for this club whatsoever…

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It will cost him a few weeks but for what he did to Josh Carr, on behalf of the AFL world, I say…thank you Jared Brennan!

Gee, the Power must really love Mark Williams! In the first game since they learnt that Choco would be given the opportunity to coach on at Port Adelaide, his team blitzed high-flying Brisbane in the final quarter and dragged themselves back into finals calculations. So how did they do it? They prepared…now that’s a handy tip!

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Wow, a rare smile and a big thumbs up from Doggies coach Rocket Eade! But who is he copying…Barry Hall or Arthur Fonzarelli?

Bulldogs – awesome! Hawthorn – shit! Probably no need to elaborate much more on this one…

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Surely you don’t need to employ Kevin Sheedy as your coach to teach players where your footy boots are meant to go. Um, Nathan Foley…try your feet!

Up at Carrara Stadium, Adelaide scored a relatively comfy win over Richmond. Local boy Kurt Tippett showed a liking to playing footy in Queensland with five  goals for the winners. Wonder if he has heard about this new team that will be starting up on the Gold Coast soon?

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Micky O’Loughlin whoops it up after kicking the sealer. He only has a couple of months left so let him lap it up while he can!

Whether this was Sydney’s first taste of life without Barry Hall has yet to be determined. If so, it appears that it will be a struggle. But the Swannies did win a close one against North Melbourne that keeps them within reach of the finals. But let’s face it…without the prospect of witnessing a Bazza brainsnap, who really wants to see Sydney feature in September action anyway?

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Steve Johnson out? Guess it is too late to change my tip…

What a freakin’ game!!! What a freakin’ game!!! What a freakin’ game!!!

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The famous old dark…yellows? No, seriously…THAT is the Carlton team. They actually played in that!

Fremantle and Carlton played last night? Really? With all the excitement of the St Kilda-Geelong game, I totally forgot! Apparently, the yellow team won…

The Matthew Pavlich Blues (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

The Dockers will have to face Wharfie Time without Pav…that can’t be good!

Fremantle captain Matthew Pavlich sent many a fantasy coach into a tailspin last Saturday afternoon when he limped out of the Collingwood match early with a calf injury. A fantasy footy fave, Pav’s lack of output hit many team owners hard…and the news that he will miss at least a fortnight will tempt a few coaches to hit that trade button. Will Half Back Flanker be one of them?

Well, not in our Herald Sun Super Coach squad. With only eight trades left, we are trying to build the best side we can for the finals…which appears a certainty after we won our league match this week with little from Pavlich and no Dean Cox. Pav will be back in time to contribute in the final weeks but with Cox out again and Taylor Walker’s omission at Adelaide, we need to trade one forward to avoid being two players short this round. But it won’t be Captain Wharfie…

What about AFL Dream Team? Pav’s early exit and a no-show from Leon Davis cost us victory in our Twitter DT league and we are ranked no higher than sixth in any of our three Dream Team leagues. Can we afford to be down one elite player at this stage with finals spot on the line? If we do trade Pav for a star, it could help us in the short term but with only seven trades left, that’s one less opportunity to strengthen the squad during the business end of proceedings.

While we don’t have the Pavlich dilemma in Premium Dream Team, we do have continual injury problems. With Josh Drummond and Cyril Rioli injured, we have had no substitutes in case of a forward or back being a late omission…which cost us when Bret Thorton was again a late scratching from Carlton’s side. But, somehow, we managed a third straight win in our league and will shoot for a fourth this weekend with Jobe Watson joining Drummond and Rioli on the sidelines. But at least we should start with eighteen fit players this time…hopefully!

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Paul Hasleby loves Captain Wharfie…will he step up in his absence?

Dream Team 24,459 points overall, 20,948th place – can’t see myself tearing up the overall standing from here!

Last Week: 1,865 points – only topped 2,000 points twice all season. Not fantastic.

League Results

Public League – lost to Roberts Rollers (2,127). Carnage…this one wasn’t even close!

SENFrank01 – defeated Demon Revival (1,756). Important win over top eight rival and behind fourth on percentage only.

Twitter DT – lost to Soaring 09 (1,909). Davis withdrawal and Pavlich injury costs us the win…and perhaps a top-four spot as well.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 8th place (6-4, 117.63%)

SENFrank01 – 6th place (6-4, 101.55%)

Twitter DT – 6th place (6-4, 104.41%)

Good:  Seven players over 100 points – with the added bonus of the captain being our highest scorer, Brendon Goddard (128). Paul Hasleby (121) has been a bit up and down but pulled out a massive game this week.

Bad: Beau Muston (38) couldn’t deliver in the absence of Scott Pendlebury while choosing Courtenay Dempsey (43) over Shannon Hurn (79) in defence didn’t work for the best.

Ugly: Pavlich with 16 points was ugly enough but Taylor Walker could only manage 24 in place of Leon Davis. We lost by 44 points in the SENFrank league. Now that is ugly!

Next opponents:

Public League – 3rd placed NoobsRUs (1,813 last week). Would have beaten them on last week’s scores, desperate to win in order to keep top four in sight.

SENFrank01 – 12th placed Leica Hawk  (1,858 last week). Already one forward short and could also have Cox and Pavlich missing. How they cover these losses could determine who wins.

Twitter DT – 3rd placed The Irish Invaders (1,921 last week). Outscored me last week despite having the Cox/Pavlich blues.

Potential changes/trades: We have three forwards out (Pav, Walker and Steele Sidebottom) and only seven trades. We cannot afford a quality forward unless we trade Pav and really want to hold onto him for the finals. So we will cash in Sidebottom, who might struggle to break into Collingwood’s best team from here, and buy young Demon Liam Jurrah. Hopefully he can have a productive couple of weeks until either Pav or Walker are back.

Captain: Bryce Gibbs should find enough of the ball against Freo at Subiaco to be worth a shot at captain.

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Gazza is on fire…let’s hope he doesn’t end up like this again this year!

Super Coach 26,565 points overall, 18,464th place – surprisingly up by quite a few thousand.

Last Week: 2,191 points – four weeks with over 2,100 points – went in one player short and scored second-highest tally for the season.

League Results

GMHBA – defeated Jamesisfullofcrap (2,025). End two-game skid and probably assured of finals action now.

Ladder Positions

GMHBA – 3rd place (7-3, 110.24%)

Good:  Eight 100-plus scores including a massive double century from the one and only Gary Ablett (206). And yes, he was our captain!

Bad:  And here’s the weekly Shane Mumford gripe…just 29 points!

Ugly: Apart from Pav,  we had another case where the emergency defender we dumped from the team last week (Heath Grundy – 69) outscored the guy we brought into the team as his replacement (Stephen Hill – 39).

Next opponents:

GMHBA – 6th placed Cool Cats  (2,159 last week). Plenty of Saints and Cats…but needs to cover the loss of Pavlich and Giansiracusa.

Potential changes/trades: With Pav out, Walker dropped and Jack Ziebell injured, we need to add a forward…especially with Cox still sidelined and our reluctance to trade him out just yet. Who’s out? Well, Pav will definitely play again this year, Taylor probably will but Ziebell and his broken leg probably won’t. Ziebell out for a cheap, short-term option to fill the void until Pav returns…we’ll go with Jurrah again.

This move gives us 394 grand in our salary cap…and our patience with stand-in second ruckman Shane Mumford has run out. We can give away Mumford and 97 grand and turn it into Melbourne’s Mark Jamar, who has averaged 89  in two games and is back this week against a Cox-less West Coast. These moves still leave us one player short this week but when Cox is back, this will be a formidable ruck tandem.

Captain: Gary Ablett. Don’t care if St Kilda tag him with Stevie Baker, Lenny Hayes and Tony Liberatore at the same time…you just have to pick Gazza!

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Chin up, Aaron Davey. Your team may lose but while you keep touching the footy, I win!

Premium Dream Team

Last Week: 1,548 points – Exceeded last week’s season-high with just 17 players.

League Results

Public League – defeated Dirty Sanchez (1,525). A win despite being one player short…though Mr Sanchez was two players short!

Ladder Positions

Public League – 3rd place (3-1, 100.37%)

Good:  Aaron Davey (133) picking up cheap possessions down back for Melbourne is working out well  for me while five other players hit triple figures, including the red hot Shannon Byrnes (100) and reliable mids Brad Sewell (113) and Bernie Vince (110).

Bad: The Bombers were great on Friday night but an ankle injury to Jobe Watson (53) ruined what could have been a massive night for him. Newly acquired defender Dustin Fletcher (45) didn’t have a great night stats-wise…shame that touching shots at goal inches before they cross the line do not register as points in Dream Team!

Ugly: Managed to trade out Bret Thornton just before the lockout in round 12 but was halfway to the ‘G when I heard he was a non-starter last weekend as well. Very lucky that it didn’t cost me victory…

Next opponents:

Public League – 6th placed Brady Way Big Hits (1,555 last week).

Potential changes/trades: Pre-empted the dumping of Collingwood’s Shannon Cox by trading him for Hawk defender Campbell Brown on Sunday night. Almost bagged Robert Murphy for Ryan Houlihan too but Murphy appeared to be picked up by another team before I could complete the trade!

Captain: Brad Sewell will be required to do a mountain of work for his Hawks to beat the Doggies. Here’s hoping for a massive score.

Round Thirteen – An Unlucky Number For Some!

Unlucky number 13? Not for Andrew Lovett…it’s his incredibly f$@#ing lucky number!

It is an unlucky number for some people. In fact, fear of the number 13 is officially recognised as a fair dinkum phobia! It’s called Triskaidekaphobia…and clearly Brendon Fevola suffers from it if Friday night is any indication. Actually, he must have plenty of phobias that have caused him to not give a shit during various games in his career. The poor bloke…

Speaking of lucky numbers, Nick Naitanui makes it great to love the West Coast number 9 again!

Obviously, nobody from Geelong or St Kilda is afflicted with Triskaidekaphobia as both clubs have started the season undefeated with thirteen straight wins. They face each other next week…you might be made aware of it this week. Approximately 458 times! So beware…

Ah, Barry? Are you serious? Are you that bloody stupid? Yep. appears so!

Adelaide’s Ben Rutten was also a little unlucky on Saturday when his number was drawn out at random in the Barry Hall Brain Fade Sweepstakes. First prize was a smack in the head! Hall has done worse during his career; much, much worse; but you can pretty much guarantee that the number of AFL games he has left with the Swans is less than thirteen!

Sure I just broke my leg but…man, this pain whistle is freakin’ awesome! I’m the luckiest man alive!!!

Once the morphine wears off, young Roo Ben Warren will be feeling more than a touch unlucky. Jade Rawlings will now be feeling a little bit unlucky…that his side doesn’t play the West Coast Eagles in Melbourne every week. But the unluckiest people from last week…Michael Jackson fans who had bought tickets for his comeback tour! And don’t forget the Farrah Fawcett fans too…

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The Games:

Hey, none of this is my fault! If you pricks just kicked the ball exactly where I want it every single time, I can just kick goals and be a legend. So wake up to yourselves boys!!!

Look out, Carlton is coming…undone! Essendon destroyed the Blues by 69 points in front of a massive crowd at the ‘G on a night where the Bombers could do no wrong. Even their bad news was relatively good. The loss caused major embarrassment for the favoured Blues and the coach might be getting a little fed up with his flakey, disinterested, sook-arse full forward. Would they dare drop him? Yeah, right!

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Well, you guys try telling Barry that he’s being a dickhead…I’m not gunna do it! Do you think I’m crazy?!

Barry Hall and Sydney hit Adelaide with everything they had but the Crows fought back late to win a vital game that could just about sink the Swans for 2009. With the freakish Brett Burton due back shortly, the Crows appear finals bound…and no team would want to visit the city of Adelaide in September!

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Heath Shaw shows that it’s much better to fly than to lie!

See what happens when the dickhead element at a footy club is reigned in? Pay attention Carlton and Sydney! Swan, Didak and Shaw come up big as the Pies bulldoze Fremantle in the second half and stick it to all those nasty, nasty critics. The Dockers also lost Matthew Pavlich to injury and are fast running out of excuses. Nah, Mark Harvey will come up with a few more yet…

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Unhappy? Vossy looks fairly happy to me…but then he has always been pretty pleased with himself!

Melbourne may have picked first in the 2008 draft but Brisbane may have been the biggest winner by selecting Daniel Rich. The Lions were also easy winners on Saturday night as the Demons continue to stink up the competition. But fear not, loyal Dees fans – Gary Lyon will come back soon and fix everything…as if he would leave his cushy media gigs to coach that lot!

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Charming! But she was right…LeCras missed the shot so it was only worth one finger.

Hawthorn’s attempt to defend their 2008 premiership was already looking shaky….and it just got a whole lot worse! Nic Naitanui, the Fijian-born rookie who did stuff-all for three quarters, sparked the West Coast Eagles with three final quarter goals for a famous win that leaves the Hawks in all sorts of bother. Once John Worsfold figures out what to make of the kid, he should be a beauty!

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Yes, Mrs Murdoch, I am wearing Bonds! They’re very comfy undies!

Geelong warm up for the St Kilda game with a cruisey win over Port Adelaide and continue to put together an amazing sequence of sustained awesomeness. Mark Thompson has now extended his contract for another couple of seasons…wonder how many milliseconds he took to mull over that one? Mark Williams, on the other hand, must be pissed that his contract situation is blowing up in the midst of his team’s sucky streak. That’s probably why he has gone into Terry Wallace salesman mode in order to save his own arse…

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STACKS ON!!!

It was a hard slog, and the coach thought they were a little bit sleepy, but the Westen Bulldogs stayed in the box seat for a top four spot with a win over the Crockeroos. The new North Melbourne coach was pleased with the direction his team was taking and one rookie in particular. Well, he didn’t break his leg so that gives him an edge over their other first year players!

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Sorry Max, it’s too late to take you to the hospital…we have to deliver this baby right here, right now!

If you’d have said that one team would fail to kick a goal in the first quarter of the St Kild-Richmond game, it would have to be Richmond, right? Wrong! The Saints were down two goals to zip at quarter time! Of course, they responded by keeping the Tigers away from goal for about 90 minutes or so and kept their unbeaten reord intact for another week. Now they play Geelong and coach Ross Lyon is getting excited…if he is, it might just be for the first time in his life!

It Could Have Been Worse! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Thought that Scott Pendlebury’s season and all my Dream Team matchups were completely screwed at this moment. In the end…not that bad!

Fortunately, the Scott Pendlebury knee injury is not season-ending so bigger things await the Magpie star later on in the year. But what about Half Back Flanker – do bigger things await our fantasy teams come finals time? We are still in contention for all our leagues and even managed two wins from three in our AFL Dream Team leagues despite the Pendlebury injury.

Our Herald Sun Super Coach defeat was heartbreaking…a mere 35 points away from beating the third placed team, who now replace us in second spot on the ladder. With Jack Ziebell’s season all but over and an injury to ruck star Dean Cox, we have a few interesting decisions to make in order to break our two-match losing streak.

Our highlight for the weekend though was a last-gasp victory in the AFL Premium Dream Team. And when we say last-gasp, we mean it! We looked gone for all money until Geelong’s Shannon Byrnes five-goal haul against Fremantle saw him rack up a massive 140-point game…giving us a 23-point win and renewed hope for our chances in this league. Hopefully, some upgrades in the trade market this week will keep us in contention until our injured duo of Josh Drummond and Cyril Rioli are back and firing.

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Let’s hope Brendon Goddard gets all X-Men style on the Tigers this round!

Dream Team 22,594 points overall, 20,351st place – back below 20 thousand overall

Last Week: 1,886 points – ok score considering we lost an elite mid in the opening minute of one game.

League Results

Public League – defeated Piss Off GC17&WS18 (1,487). You can bet that the real GC17 and WS18 will be a little better than the fantasy version…what, with all those concession draft picks coming their way!

SENFrank01 – defeated Sicilian Vespers (1,826). Upset win that keeps us well and truly in the finals race.

Twitter DT – lost to BigAl’s Bombers (2,226). Totally outclassed but still a shot for a top-four finish.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 3rd place (6-3, 122.24%)

SENFrank01 – 6th place (5-4, 101.06%)

Twitter DT – 5th place (6-3, 105.20%)

Good:  Seven 100-points games with two Dockers clearing 120 – Matthew Pavlich (expected) and Greg Broughton (not quite so expected)!

Bad: Buddy Franklin (32). I’ve held onto him all season, just expecting him to start firing at some point. Still waiting!

Ugly: The opening minute of the Collingwood-Sydney game! But at least Dream Team now allows any player with a zero score to be replaced by a reserve, even though Pendlebury started the game.

Next opponents:

Public League – 5th placed Roberts Rollers (1,935 last week). Also with a 6-3 record…along with four other teams. A good win here would keep us ahead of the pack for now.

SENFrank01 – 7th placed Demon Revival (1,783 last week). The loser of this one might struggle to finish in the eight. Must win game!

Twitter DT – 9th placed Soaring 09 (2,103 last week). A few injury concerns with Cox,  Ziebell and Simon Goodwin but a solid team overall.

Potential changes/trades: Saving our remaining seven trades until the business end of things so will just move Pendlebury to the bench for a week or two, Hawthorn’s Beau Muston to take his spot. Taylor Walker will also become an emergency in place of the omitted Steele Sidebottom.

Captain: Brendon Goddard (102.67 avg.) should have a field day against the Tigers at the Dome on Sunday so the captaincy is his.

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How do you replace a broken Cox? The answer…very carefully!

Super Coach 24,374 points overall, 21,129th place – up by a couple of thousand.

Last Week: 2,105 points – third week in a row with over 2,100 points.

League Results

GMHBA – lost to Kervos Heroes (2,138). The Ziebell injury proved very costly as we lose our second straight game.

Ladder Positions

GMHBA – 3rd place (6-3, 110.50%)

Good:  Ten 100-plus scores, four of those over 120. Chuck in six other scores over 90 points and that’s a pretty good week. However…

Bad: …Ziebell’s 10-point outing and another sub-50 score from stand-in ruckman Shane Mumford. Remember – we lost by just 33 points.

Ugly: Went with Demon Kyle Cheney (36) on field instead of Docker Stephen Hill (89). That selection decision alone was the difference between winning and losing.

Next opponents:

GMHBA – 11th placed Jamesisfullofcrap  (1,885 last week). The team itself is not full of crap but they have the same decision to make as us with the injured Dean Cox.

Potential changes/trades: With Cox out, Mumford is our only ruckman playing this round. So what do we do? Trade Cox? Trade bench guy Sam Jacobs for Nick Naitanui or Tyrone Vickery? With eight trades left, any move we make should be geared towards either cashing in or buying stars to help us win the league…and neither of those moves help strengthen our squad. So seriously thinking of leaving the team as is and playing one short in the hope that Cox is back next round, bigger and better.

Captain: Gary Ablett had a rare sub-100 game last weekend but we can’t see it happening two weeks in a row.

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Shannon Byrnes saves the day for Geelong…not to mention our Premium Dream Team!

Premium Dream Team

Last Week: 1,542 points – Our best score so far…though that’s not exactly a great achievement.

League Results

Public League – defeated Baywatch Manboobs! (1,519). Snatched victory from the jaws of defeat!

Ladder Positions

Public League – 5th place (2-1, 99.98%)

Good:  Apart from Byrnes, captain Adam Cooney, Jobe Watson, Aaron Davey and Hamish McIntosh all topped 100 points.

Bad: Steven Dodd was drafted in late after Bret Thornton’s late withdrawal two weeks ago. Didn’t waste any time bringing Thornton back at Dodd’s expense this week!

Ugly: He had been serviceable before this but Ben McGlynn’s horror week was enough to trade him away.

Next opponents:

Public League – 10th placed Dirty Sanchez (1,411 last week). Both ruckman are out and a couple of other injury woes will make it easier for us to win three in a row.

Potential changes/trades: Made two trades on Sunday night – Thornton in for Dodd and Bulldog Jarrod Harbrow in for McGlynn. The third trade was used to upgrade the defence with young Blue Dennis Armfield making way for Bomber veteran Dustin Fletcher.

Captain: Adam Cooney retains the captaincy as he looks to be nearing Brownlow form again and should do well against the Kangaroos.

Round Twelve – What Happened Again?

Mmm…tasty! Friday night viewing at its finest starring Chris Judd…

But not even the prospect of a blood-splattered reunion could keep his girlfriend away. Now that is true love!

Wow, that split round seems to drag on forever, doesn’t it! Feels like an age between Juddy’s face explosion on Friday June 12th and Cam Mooney brain explosions yesterday at Subiaco. Can barely remember most of what happened in between. If only one could find some kind of pictorial montage to help jog the memory…

Hmmm…

Looks like the guy responsible for captions at Channel Seven took time off during the split round! Wonder who filled in for him and came up with this howler? My money is on David Schwarz…

Ben Cousins and Daniel Kerr reflecting on old times…the ones they can remember, of course!

If you thought Juddy’s nose made you a little squeamish, how did you go when the Brisbane medicos popped Troy Selwood’s shoulder back into place!

Sorry, did you say $800,000? How is this guy going to find enough money to pay Nathan Buckley to coach his club?

Well done, Mick. Remember – if the knife touches the bottom, you have to kiss the nearest boy! Now imagine if Buckley was the coach…Eddie would bring cake every week!!!

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The Games:

Suffer in ya jocks, Hawthorn! Hawk reject Zac Dawson actually kicks a goal of his own that helps sink Carlton and keeps St Kilda unbeaten after 12 rounds.

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Anyone ever associated with the Richmond Football Club joins in to sing the song after they beat West Coast. Well, it rarely happens so let them have their fun!

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The Doggies took a nice trip to Darwin, chilled out inside a coolroom and they destroyed Port Adelaide during the split round. It was like they have just had two weeks off…lucky them!

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Great win by the Lions…and you just know that whatever Browny is drinking there, it sure ain’t Powerade!!!

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Dean Laidley’s wild week started with an important trip to Adelaide…it ended with a sudden resignation and a visit from Mick Molloy! Rough week…

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Very predictable result on Friday night. Melbourne = shit, Essendon = promising, Mark McVeigh = dumb!

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I tipped Sydney to win, I have Scott Pendlebury in my fantasy team and I don’t like Collingwood very much. What a shitty Saturday night! Thumbs down, Barry. Thumbs down!

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They keep racking up win after win but any time a Geelong forward misses a sitter in front of goals, that’s the story right there! Especially when this hairy bloke is involved…

Prolonging The Agony! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Our verdict of the long countdown between games for fantasy footy? It bites!!!

Having a mid-season split round, where the eight games are spread out over two weekends, is certainly beneficial for many in the footy community. It allows battle-weary players a richly-deserved (in most cases…) week off to unwind and prepare for the second half of the season. It also allows disillusioned senior coaches the time to reflect on their future direction and the viability of their current position. And it provides footy clubs with a little extra time to figure out what the heck they are going to do when their disillusioned senior coaches reflects on his future direction and quits his current position.

But what is the impact on the split round for fantasy coaches? Well, it probably depends on the performance of those players who participated in the five AFL matches played last weekend. If those players fired and your teams look set for victory, it is a very pleasant time. If your team is in trouble, you’ve had a full week of kicking yourself and your dodgy decision making before being put out of your misery!

So…which camp is Half Back Flanker in? We definitely need to bounce back after a disappointing round that saw us knocked out of the Eliminator in Dream Team and narrowly defeated by Sheeds in Super Coach! Read on to find out…

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Dream Team

20,708 points overall, 19,951th place – 1,836 points last round.

Current Round:

986 points – 12 players (captain yet to play).

Public League

Last Round: lost to Uninformed (1,999). Third straight loss but big percentage keeps us fourth.

Ladder – 4th place (5-3, 121.69%)

Current opponents: 14th placed Piss Off GC17 & WS18 (1,311 last round). 841 points – 11 players (no captain). Fantastic name, not so great team…well, no captain is a giveaway! Should snap the losing streak…

SENFrank01

Last Round: lost to The Dominators (2,007). Expected a greater margin of defeat, loss sees us two games back from fifth placed team.

Ladder – 6th place (4-4, 100.79%)

Current opponents: 2nd placed Sicilian Vespers (1,990 last week). 1,052 points – 14 players (captain yet to play). Two player advantage and only down 66 points, outside shot at a win…particularly if my captain (Joel Selwood) outscores his captain (Gary Ablett).

Twitter DT

Last Round: defeated Dodge This (1,671). Three-match win streak and now three wins ahead of ninth placed team. Looks like we are headed to the finals in this league.

Ladder – 4th place (6-2, 108.50%)

Current opponents: 1st placed Big Al’s Bombers (1,842 last week). 1,263 points – 13 players (captain played). I have two extra players and the captain this weekend to make up the difference but big Al appears to have too many elite players going around this weekend as well. Trouble…big trouble!

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Super Coach

22,269 points overall, 23,971th place – 2,131 points last round.

Current Round:

935 points – 10 players (captain yet to play).

GMHBA

Last Round: lost to Sheedy’s Superstars  (2,192 last week). Regretting a couple of selections for reserves and persisting with Shane Mumford. Would have loved to knock off Sheeds…maybe in the finals.

Ladder – 2nd place (6-2, 112.32%)

Current opponents: 3rd placed Kervos Heroes (1,973 last week). 1,336 points – 15 players (captain yet to play). Both have Gary Ablett as captain so it will come down to whether my five extra players can make up the 400 or so points to pinch the win.

…

Premium Dream Team

Last Round: 1,383 points – Poor start to the season continues

Current Round: 1,018 points – 12 players (captain played) -

Public League

Last Round: defeated Sydney Blast (1,208). Lucky we played these guys last week considering our ongoing injury woes.

Ladder – 6th place (1-1, 99.18%)

Current opponents: 2nd placed Baywatch Manboobs (1,506 last week). 1,084 points – 11 players (captain played) Thanks to a big night from Manboobs captain (as opposed to Captain Manboobs!) Nick Riewoldt, probably in trouble this round and not liking my chances in this comp at all!

Round Eleven – The Excitement Builds In Western Sydney

The suburbs of western Sydney look exactly like this year’s NAB ad…well, it would if you removed every single Sherrin!

Half Back Flanker went on a bit of a field trip for round eleven of the AFL season and ventured out into the Aussie rules footballing hotbed that could well be soon on the receiving end of the 18th AFL franchise. I thought it might be nice to gauge the levels of excitement and anticipation from the millions of  residents in the west of Sydney as they count down to the arrival of their very own AFL club.

Well, having left Sydney and returned to Swine Flu Central…I can’t say that Sydney’s west is exactly swept up in AFL fever. It was like round eleven never actually happened! Not exactly sure why Andy D is so gung-ho about expanding into western Sydney..no, actually I am – there are a shitload of people out there! And they are watching plenty of footy. But let me tell you something…they ain’t watching our game!

If you wanted to talk to the locals about how the Tigers died in the arse during the second half on Friday Night football, they would have agreed. But they are talking the Wests Tigers in the NRL…not Richmond! And while the coach of the West Tigers might be in trouble, at least he still has a job…and he actually won something during his time there. Terry Wallace has neither of those things…

Richmond fans in western Sydney had to stay up past 2am on Saturday morning to watch Terry Wallace coach the Tigers to the last loss of his career.

And just say that you were keen to check out the Tigers-Doggies game and lived in western Sydney – you had to wait until after 11pm for the start of the match on Channel Seven. The Friday night marquee event AFL game and a massive audience in the largest growth area in Australia that has been targeted to adopt your code…and they are the last group of people in the entire country to see it?

And things didn’t improve on Saturday either. The ladder-leading Saints had another win? Nuh, they didn’t play until Monday night and they (being St George Illawarra) lost to the Gold Coast. And if you settled down in the family home to watch the action on a Saturday night, no AFL either. It was rugby union between the Wallabies and Barbarians…where the Lions were British, not Brisbane, and the Blues were from Auckland, not Carlton. If you went to the pub for some pay TV footy action, it was all about Johnathan Thurston and his Cowboys – not Toby Thurstans and the victorious Port Adelaide!

At least we saw some AFL action on Sunday with the Sydney Swans playing Hawthorn…it was live and everything. Sure, every pub with a TV had the rugby league on but those with a second screen were showing the Swannies. Sure enough, the Swans lost; in part to a classic Barry Hall brain-snap; and big bad Bazza has pretty much been the only AFL coverage in the Sydney media for the next three days.

Another Barry brain-snap…but it’s probably the only way to keep AFL and the Swans in the Sydney papers!

Say what you like about the hot-headed Swans spearhead but if it wasn’t for Barry Hall doing stupid things on a regular basis, the term ‘AFL’ would barely be uttered up there. Gary Ablett and the Cats keep tearing up the competition…read the scores in the paper the following day. The Crows and Bombers put on a great show with some spectacular goals…didn’t watch or listen to a second of it! Probably just as well for me…

And how about the latest teenage whizkid to hit the big time! Huh, who the hell is Jack Watts? They are talking about rising Wallabies star James O’Connor and his selection in the best rugby team in the country. They wouldn’t have the first idea about Watts making his highly (try ‘overly’) publicised debut for the worst team in the league – which just happened to coincide with Melbourne’s home game blockbuster against the biggest crowd drawing team. What a funny coincidence…

So, despite the miserable skies and hail storms greeting me at the airport, it was great to arrive back at the home of AFL football and catch up on what happened in round eleven. The guy behind the success at the Swans has doubts about the new Sydney club…and after my experience last weekend, I would have to agree.