It’s Time To Celebrate (Round One – The Great Unveiling)

Happy Birthday! Kane, put it away…you have to BLOW out the candles!

Richmond has outperformed Carlton for the second time in a matter of days to open the 2008 season in style. It wasn’t enough that the Tigers knocked off the Blues on Thursday night – captain Kane Johnson has now gone one better than Carlton’s resident drunken idiot Brendan Fevola by weeing in public…in front of a police station…and getting arrested!

Johnson, who was celebrating his 30th birthday, has banned himself from Richmond’s round two clash with North Melbourne after admitting that his part was part of the incident. This incident has been described as “completely out of character” and an “aberration”…though we think that the guy was just slurring his words so that ‘urination’ sounded like ‘aberration’.

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But it could explain why Johnson’s first possession in the opening game last season ending up with a 50 metre kick…the wrong way. Perhaps he went a bit too hard celebrating his 29th! Apart from Kane Johnson’s brain (and bladder) explosion, there are more reasons to celebrate after yesterday’s footy action:

• Brad Johnson produces the fairytale/Hollywood/wet-dream ending in his 300th game, saving the Bulldogs’ bacon with five second half goals to beat Adelaide. Nathan Bock had one last chance to steal the win for the Crows…but he Bocked it up!
• Hawthorn beat the absolute crap out of Melbourne…this was pretty embarrassing! It gave new Demons coach Dean Bailey the worst possible start to his senior coaching career…but gave Russel Robertson plenty of time to practice his singing while Hawthorn kicked all the goals. Just imagine if the Hawks hadn’t lost Trent Croad early or played Luke Hodge, Shane Crawford, Jordan Lewis and Campbell Brown!

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Weekend reading:

• Mick Malthouse calls AFL officials “stupid and “ridiculous”…we’re sure that the League won’t mind – they are a pretty good-humoured bunch;
• Melbourne Football Manager Chris Connolly wants the father-son rule to be scrapped – probably because any kids produced by the current group of players would be crappy as well;
• Paul Roos to keep coaching from the sideline this season…the fresh air must help him stay awake watching his team play. It probably gets a bit snoozy inside a warm coaches box!

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Hey, there’s one more game to go in the Great Unveiling…and there is a medal up for grabs!

THE MATTHEW KNIGHTS MATCH

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Essendon (SEVEN)

• After saying ‘thanks but no thanks’ to the League’s quaint little offer to relocate to the Gold Coast, the Kangaroos are staying put, embracing the name North Melbourne again and looking to improve on what many considered to be a surprise third-placed finish last season.
• Not everybody shares North’s optimism this season but with record membership and the doubters underestimating the Roos (again), they are well placed to take the next step. And they are facing a team they have not lost to since 2001…perfect chance for them to start well.
• Nathan Thompson returns to football after a knee injury ended his 2007 season but the Age reports that he will no longer be the focus of their forward line. It’s definitely a better description than that of the Herald Sun, who say he will have “a lesser role”…come on – the guy just sat out an entire season, you can’t have a lesser role than that!
• A new era dawns at Essendon with new coach Matthew Knights in charge of his first senior game and he, along with most of the players, don’t know what to expect. Well, apart from some less nonsensical press conferences – that you can guarantee!
• It will certainly be a new-look Bombers outfit – they will certainly be faster and the famous number five of James Hird will now be worn by Brent Stanton, who has been adapting to the role of a leader who racks up stats and kicks goals in a losing side during the preseason.