Round Four – Bite Ya Nails!

Oh my God…I just tipped Melbourne to win!!!

When you look at the match-ups for this weekend’s round of footy, it makes you wonder whether the League accidentally scheduled Rivalry Round on the wrong weekend! Check it out; Collingwood v Carlton – decades of hate. Sydney v West Coast – every game decided by less than a goal. Brisbane v Port Adelaide – well, who doesn’t automatically think Alastair Lynch v Shane Wakelin?

But it’s not just rivalry that all these clubs seem to have in common – what about Leo Barry’s mark to deny West Coast in the 2005 grand final? Or Buddy Franklin tearing the heart out of the Adelaide Crows in last year’s finals series? At second glance, there’s also quite a history of tight finishes…hey, let’s have a another goofy theme round!

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So if last week was Hate Ya Guts round, tonight sees the start of Bite Ya Nails round! It will be jangles nerves for everybody – whether your team is up by a goal in the final term or your least favourite player is trying to pinpoint passes across the face of his own goal. Or, for example, perhaps your extremely nervous about lawyers ruining your competition by challenging the rules on free agency.

But if the nerves are getting to you or your fingers start bleeding, don’t worry – two hours of footy and it will all be over! Well, except for that free agency thing…

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TEAM NEWS

• Matthew Lloyd missing for Essendon but it’s ok because they still have Scott Lu…oh crap!
• Matt Maguire back for the Saints, perhaps he can solve all of their problems;
• Apparently Dean Cox is going to play this weekend…we’ll see;
• Still no room for Nick Davis at the Swans…no wonder he’s been quiet recently.
• No confirmation yet that Joel Bowden will be dropped by the Tigers but it could still happen.

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TIPS FOR BITE YA NAILS ROUND

BULLDOGS by 6: Both teams can rack up the points – we might see the first ever game where both sides score 200 points each! (Edit: Lloyd is out…so only one team will score 200 points now!)

CATS by 1: Well, the Saints have so many freakin’ problems right now that they couldn’t possibly beat the Cats, could they? Probably not…but it will be close.

ROOS by 3: The Demons are taking pride in losing by less and less every week – what a great opportunity to lose by less than a goal.

SWANS by 2: No matter how many Eagles miss through injury, this game will go down to the wire. It just has to.

POWER by 5: Another loss for Port and the Gold Coast might start looking a little more attractive for Chad Cornes!

HAWKS by 4: A win and anything less than two players being reported would be a satisfying day for Hawthorn!

MAGPIES by 1: Carlton will push them but not even Richard Pratt has enough dough to buy his club a win at the moment.

DOCKERS by 6: They say Chris Tarrant is happy in the west but win, lose or draw, don’t be surprised if he tries to smuggle himself back to Melbourne by hiding in Matty Richardson’s suitcase!

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Tonight’s action:

THE “TERRY’S FLOOD” MATCH

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:40pm (local): Essendon v Western Bulldogs (SEVEN)

• On a Friday night in late July of the year 2000, the Bulldogs became the only team to beat the supposedly unstoppable Essendon that year, Chris Grant nailing a left-footer from the boundary line to give the Dogs a late lead.
• The victory was due to the Doggies adopting a Terry Wallace devised uber-flood. After leaving the Dogs to not coach the Sydney Swans, he then repeated the dose for Richmond against the Adelaide Crows a few years ago.
• The tactic drew the ire of then-Essendon coach Kevin Sheedy and triggered the whole ‘basketball-crap’ furore…irony being that Sheeds never adopted that strategy but which one is out of a job right now?
• The Doggies are looking for a fourth straight win to start the year but will have to do it without Scott West. But there are plenty of midfielders ready to make up for his absence…just who will kick Essendon’s goals without Lloyd and Lucas remains a mystery,
• Just who will stop Brad Johnson? Don’t ask the Bombers…they don’t even know themselves yet! They have asked their fans to vote on who should get the big task…no doubt Sheedy would have logged on to vote for Mark Bolton, just for old times sake!