I’ve Lost Some Seconds And I Don’t Know Where To Find Them (Round Seven – Welcome Back!)

What part of ‘Stop The F@&$%#g Clock’ don’t they understand???

Hmm, the League seems to be having a few timing issues at the moment. First it was a few lost seconds in the Fremantle-Geelong thriller last week, then all these kick-ass players that are due to play in the Hall Of Fame match next week keep getting injured playing in pesky meaningful regular season games. Now it seems that the game clock was not stopped late in last night’s Richmond-St Kilda match and at least ten seconds were lost.

As a result, Richmond’s Jack Riewoldt was forced to shoot for goal from outside 50 after the siren to try to win the game rather than have time to find a target closer to goal. Riewoldt’s shot fell short and the Saints survived a thriller!

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But Terry Wallace is not the only one missing a few seconds from Saturday night. Half Back Flanker was fortunate enough to attend the game with access to as much free food and beer as we could handle. And let’s just say that a period of time just seemed to disappear…namely, the entire third quarter! So, yes Plough…we can relate!

Great hospitality and a final-kick thriller…what an awesome night! And you know you’ve probably had enough to drink when a) you are not completely outraged when one of you’re least favourite footballers – nay, humans – kicks seven goals in a match-winning performance and b) the people around you can’t seem to stop singing Barry Manilow’s ‘Copacabana’ at the top of their voice!

But after last night, we will never forget how awesome Richo can be, how amazing Robert Harvey is at age 57 and that her name was Lola and she was, indeed, a showgirl!

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Three other matches yesterday:

• Hawthorn make mince meat out of Collingwood but it wasn’t all good news for the mighty Hawks…
• Geelong continue to lead the way by beating Brisbane in a tight contest…though what would have happened if both sides had a few handy players out there?
• How the heck do you jump a kangaroo? Well, Adelaide managed to do it in the second half to beat North Melbourne…

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Today’s action in Welcome Back round:

THE ‘WELCOME BACK SIMON GARLICK’ GAME

SCG, Sydney – 1:10pm (local): Sydney v Western Bulldogs (FOX)

• Simon Garlick played 44 games in four seasons with the Sydney Swans, including the 1996 grand final, before joining Footscray in 1998 and playing over 100 games for the Dogs.
• Garlick didn’t have to wait long to take on his former club and managed 16 touches and a goal in the round 5 clash in 1998 at the SCG. But Tony Lockett’s four goals ensured the home side recorded a narrow win.
• Simon’s brother was a decent rugby league player as well, captaining the South Sydney Rabbitohs before Russell Crowe swept to power!
• The Dogs have yet to taste defeat this season but playing the Swans at the smaller confines of the SCG will be a big test for them.
• No Nick Davis (again) for the Swans but big Spida Everitt will play as will former Cat Henry Playfair – and that name alone should have seen him come in for Barry Hall!

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THE ‘WELCOME BACK JEFF FARMER’ GAME

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Melbourne v Fremantle (SEVEN)

• Melbourne fans saw the best and worst of Jeff Farmer during his seven years with the Demons before he moved back to Western Australia to wear the purple of Fremantle.
• And sure enough, he becomes a hero in his first match against his former club by kicking the winning goal after the siren to beat Melbourne in round 8, 2002! But since then…
• Melbourne are winless and almost friendless at the moment as they try to chalk up a win. To do that, they need to get rid of some bad habits…like, for example, sucking so much!
• Even if most people don’t care about this match, the Dockers should really care about putting in a performance similar to the one that should have beaten the Cats last week.
• But whatever happens – please umpires, do your job and protect Josh Carr! When will this ball-playing good football Samaritan get a break?

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THE ‘WELCOME BACK GAVIN WANGANEEN’ GAME

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 4:40pm (local): Essendon v Port Adelaide (FOX)

• Gavin Wanganeen won a premiership and a Brownlow medal with Essendon in 1993 before breaking every female Bomber fan’s heart by leaving to become the inaugural captain of the Port Power.
• And who did Port face in their first ever home game? Essendon, of course! And the visitors spoiled the party with a 33-point win.
• With half their club injured, the Bombers have brought in a host of inexperienced kids to make up the numbers. There are some familiar names like Neagle and yet another Daniher but because the other names are not Madden, Van Der Haar and Merrett, and it’s not 1984, it hard to see the Bombers getting close today.
• Not that Port coach Mark Williams is planning to take Essendon lightly…though he’s more concerned with paying out on those softies who get tired from playing footy!
• Robert Gray has the unenviable task of replacing Chad Cornes…though he will never fully compensate for the skill, nous and personal self-admiration that Chad brings to the side!