One Heck Of A Party! (The Lost Weekend)

A big win and the meat in a bald man sandwich…it was a dream night for Cam Mooney!

The Geelong Football Club were good but not quite good enough in 1989. And 1992…and 1994…and 1995! But after sweeping all before them in 2007, the Cats are looking likely to go all the way again after conquering their two nearest rivals in consecutive weeks! Hawthorn did create a fierce contest and deserve a lot of credit for making the Cats work hard for the win; though Clarkson blaming the umpires for the loss was not the smartest move…considering the inaccuracy of some of their forwards.

But the Cats and Hawks opened Party Like It’s 1989 round with an enthralling battle in front of a massive crowd at the MCG on Friday night but Geelong prevailed, as most people predicted. The rest of the round, however, was one unpredictable event after another! No fewer than five teams in the top eight lost on the weekend and St Kilda, who were again being touted as top four material, crashed to a shock loss to the equal-bottom side and tumbled out of the eight! Wow…we really knew how to party in the late eighties!

…

Upsets freakin’ galore…that was the theme of Party Like It’s 1989 round:

SATURDAY

The happiest moment of this young Bomber fan’s life!!!

• Essendon make a right mess of Collingwood’s top four hopes with an impressive victory. Bombers coach Matthew Knights described the win as ‘very satisfying’ but could have used dozens of other superlatives instead…and put the word ‘f@%$!#g’ in front of them for extra emphasis! But Mick Malthouse was lost for words after the match…which is unprecedented as he is constantly whinging about something or other. Perhaps if Mick spent little less time complaining about what other teams are doing! Just a thought…

…

• The West Coast Eagles are missing premierships stars, forced to play lots of young kids and having their worst season in ages. So, if St Kilda are meant to be charging towards the top four and, as Grant Thomas suggested on Saturday, the only team that can stop Geelong (WTF?), they should be beating teams like this, right? Well, they couldn’t! The Saints crashed to a disappointing loss and Grant Thomas’ suggestion is now as meaningful and relevant as…well, most of his other ones!

…

• Joel Bowden wins another game for Richmond. Amazingly, he did it by kicking the ball forwards! The Tigers win a thriller against the Brisbane Lions and are finally making some real progress – so we all know what needs to happen next at Punt Road…off-field turmoil! Greg Miller was informed by the Saturday newspaper that he would lose his job and, promptly, lost his desire to turn up to work…so now this will turn into a saga that lasts for days! Ah Richmond…regular as clockwork, aren’t they?

…

• There was panic in the streets of Adelaide but after five straight losses, the Crows have bounced back with an impressive win in Sydney against the Swans. Barry Hall might have greater control over his emotions after his little break but clearly he plays better footy when he wants to hurt people! Whatever future Baz does have in Sydney, will it be successful if he’s not allowed to smack people in the head?

SUNDAY

The Power fans talk with their feet…well, those that went to the game in the first place!

• Fremantle won again…that is a surprise. They beat the Power in Adelaide…yep, even more surprising. No Matthew Pavlich…you can’t be serious! Yep, the Dockers really did win without the Pav…but Port are only interested on their ‘focus on development‘ anyway. That’s code for ‘we don’t give a shit any more!’

…

Relax Demons fans, Jimmy Stynes has found your new CEO…comedian Hamish Blake!

• The Roos and Demons provided your Sunday afternoon snoozer as North did as much as it needed to beat Melbourne…but little else as they accidentally climbed into fifth spot. The only entertainment value was watching Brent Harvey milk two ‘reportable’ offences out of tagger Lynden Dunn. Harvey seemed pleased that his floppy theatrics saw Dunn go in the book but the young Demon will still play next week….perhaps Harvey needs to make his acting jobs a bit more realistic!

…

We’d all like Fev to jump in the Lake…but Carlton fans are loving him this week!

• Carlton ended the weekend of upsets with a special comeback of their own to knock off the second-placed Western Bulldogs. Everybody’s favourite dickhead Brendan Fevola did it all again…from dumbass free kicks, reversals and sulking to another match-winning performance in front of goal that has him closing in on Buddy Franklin for the Coleman Medal. You know that Carlton and Hawthorn play each other in the final round…