Maybe Next Week… (The Lost Weekend)

No century for Buddy or Fev this week…

The anticipation was massive. The footy fans had their hands wrapped around the railing, ready to spring over the fence at the first sign of a 100th goal sailing through the sticks. Security had their hands wrapped around shotguns ticket books, ready to issue warning and fines for trespassing. But with Lance Franklin having an off day and Fev only just cracking the nineties, there were no ground invasions this weekend.

But there were a few interesting results – the Tigers and Saints kept their chances of surviving an extra week (and no longer than that) alive while the Hawks and Dogs are playing like teams passing the time until their first final in three weeks. And Hackett…Schmackett! Who would want to watch that guy when you have Port Adelaide hosting Collingwood at a cold, slippery AAMI Stadium on a Friday night?

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FRIDAY NIGHT

The gold medal in the pairs of the synchronised awkward boundary rider goes to…Australia!!!

• Predictably, the Pies won the Friday night match over a mildly disinterested Port but despite two straight wins putting them back in the finals picture, there is only one thing they are giving a shake…and it’s not the top four!

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SATURDAY

Adelaide coach Neil Craig could barely contain his excitement at beating the Bombers in Melbourne…

• After 18 years of falling short and near misses, the Crows have finally beaten Essendon in Melbourne! And they pissed it in…flogging the injury-plagued Bombers. No wonder the Dons are throwing a shindig for the doctors down at Windy Hill…they are definitely overworked!

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This is what it feels like to win a game? Wow!!! We should try to do this more often…

• Melbourne wins the battle of the cellar dwellers and, at least for one week, can believe that there is one team in the comp that is slightly more crap than them!! The Eagles may have failed again on the road but it gave Daniel Kerr a good chance to check out which Melbourne neighbourhood might be nice to live in…

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The Cats are fully focused on practicing their post grand final celebration!

• So, how well are Geelong travelling? They did it easy against the Swans in Sydney to ensure the minor premiership, Gary Ablett is back and kicking ass and they still have four premiership players to add to the team! No wonder Paul Roos is ready to hand the big shiny cup to the Cats…

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Jono Brown takes another courageous mark, the Dogs take another credibility hit!

• Brisbane keep their finals hopes alive and finally finds a way to win a close one…have your opponent kick worse than you for a change! While crap kicking definitely helped sink the Dogs, a big final term from the freakish Jared Brennan is always bad news…

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SUNDAY

To the winner goes the spoils…Richo receives a little man-love!

• The Tigers declared Terry Wallace’s position safe for next year before yesterday’s game…and his side pulled out their best win in four years to beat the highly-fancied Hawks! But Hawthorn have nothing to play for right now so should bounce back once September comes around…and they fix the MCG surface…and they don’t focus on Buddy so much…and another team knocks out Geelong for them!

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Fev shows Josh Gibson his footy brain. Wow – it’s soooo big!!!

• Carlton in the finals? Hmmm, not while they are a one-trick pony…and that pony is a certified headcase! The Roos hand out a lesson in finals-type footy as they crushed Carlton to put them in fourth spot. Perhaps the Kangas are better than last year…

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You can breathe easy, Nick…the Saints are back in the eight!!

• Nick Riewoldt leads the Saints to a vital win over Fremantle to leap up into the eight. And after the dismal year that the Dockers have had, that second half must have atrocious if they are still taking steps backwards! How much further backwards could they possibly go?