It’s Buddy Mania! (The Lost Weekend)

Is somebody giving away free stuff? Icy cold cans of Coke, perhaps? Or maybe it’s a scrag-fight! Nope, Buddy has kicked the tonne!!!

Round 22, 2008 brought up a few surprise results and some outstanding performances but it will always be remembered for being about Buddy…and not quite being about Fev! Lance Franklin kicked his 100th goal in the first quarter of Hawthorn’s crushing win against Carlton to send the capacity crowd into a fence-jumping frenzy! See it here…

Brett Ratten was hoping for both players to crack the 100 goal mark on Saturday night but some early nerves in front of goal and late flooding tactics from Hawthorn conspired against the Fev, leaving him stranded on 99 goals. Ratten was far from impressed with the Hawks after the match but perhaps the Blues coach needs to focus on finding someone; anyone; that can help out by becoming a goal kicking threat and stop teams honing in on the Fev.

Poor Fev…

The other major point of interest from Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse round was which team would finish in fourth spot and earn the double chance and have the ‘good fortune’ of facing Geelong in the first qualifying final. And for a while, it seemed like a few sides were going out of their way to avoid finishing fourth as Collingwood and then North Melbourne were knocked off by teams in the bottom four.

When Adelaide held on for a thrilling win against the Western Bulldogs, it seemed like they had claimed the top four spot…even though it took cross-town rival Port Adelaide to help them out! But they also appeared to get a little help from a controversial umpiring decision that saw Jason Porplyzia awarded a goal in the final quarter that was clearly rushed for a behind by Jason Akermanis. The incident is being compared to Diego Maradona’s ‘hand of God’; though we should never encourage the use of the term God with Aker as he will, no doubt, take it personally.

Wait, that’s not a foot…it’s an arm. It’s Aker’s arm! Rushed behind…

What are you umps talking about? I touched it!!! See…this is my arm!!!

GOAL??? You’ve gotta be f&@$#%g kidding me!!!

But the media didn’t appear to be studying the AFL ladder that closely as most of them had the Crows preparing for a big clash with Geelong next weekend, only a few recognising the possibility of St Kilda winning the Sunday twilight match by enough points to leapfrog the Crows on percentage. And, sure enough, they pummelled a lightweight Essendon by 108 points and somehow finished fourth! Now the Pies are headed west to Adelaide and the Roos headed north to Sydney for cut-throat finals next week…that sucks dude!

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FRIDAY NIGHT

Great Jeff, you finally played a good game…we are all so very impressed!

• Fremantle end another typically crappy year with another unexpected win and screw over the Magpies in the process…nice! Jeff Farmer showed that he only cares about playing well when his contract is about to run out…perhaps the Dockers should sign him to weekly deals next year! Mick Malthouse is blaming a tough month for the loss…well, there is an even tougher month coming up – it’s called September! Not that Malthouse’s boys will be participating for all four weeks…

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SATURDAY

Big head, big grab! Brett Ebert and friends embarrass North Melbourne.

• Did you think that Collingwood would be the biggest screw-ups of the round after Friday night? Well, the Roos went one better – coughing up a guaranteed double-chance after being flogged by Port Adelaide! No wonder Dean Laidley was so pissed off after the game…and no wonder Josh Carr wants out of Freo and return to the Power!

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Mind you, Worsfold was pretty confident that none of his players were on drugs a couple of years ago…

• Geelong are setting themselves for back-to-back flags after thumping the West Coast Eagles to end the regular season with 21 wins and one solitary loss. Mark Thompson may not be certain whether this current team is better than the one that went all the way last year…but he can save that discussion for after they win the premiership in four week’s time. John Worsfold also has reason for optimism…well, the Eagles won’t lose any more games for at least six months now!

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Doctor Leo Barry attends to teammate Tadhg Kennelly’s shoulder…now he needs to work on the groin of Adam Goodes!

• The Sydney Swans were languishing in eighth spot a week ago and looked to be wasting everyone’s time in September. But thanks to Collingwood and North Melbourne, the Swannies now have a home final! After beating up on the Brisbane Lions, Paul Roos now prepares his mob for a clash with the Kangaroos…but it remains to be seen if his hot head spearhead will be available!

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SUNDAY

This man should be feeling embarrassed after the year he has had…and so should Dean Bailey!

• Richmond are ninth…again! And what better way to celebrate than thrashing an awful Melbourne outfit. Terry Wallace feels that side is well and truly on the way up…but remember that the Tigers are coming off a very, very low base! Speaking of which, the Dees are shithouse and the coach is embarrassed…what took him so long?

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Ever seen players this happy after being flogged by 100 points? At least it won’t happen to them ever again…

• It came as a bit of a surprise and it even looks a little wrong when you study the ladder…but the Saints are fourth! Ross Lyon claims that they were not even thinking about it until late in the match but it was pretty clear that they would win big the moment Nathan Lovett-Murray stood next to Nick Riewoldt at the start of the match. It was an awful way to end the season for the Bombers as they farewelled the inspirational Rama, a couple of club stalwarts…and Mal Michael.