Round Thirteen – An Unlucky Number For Some!

Unlucky number 13? Not for Andrew Lovett…it’s his incredibly f$@#ing lucky number!

It is an unlucky number for some people. In fact, fear of the number 13 is officially recognised as a fair dinkum phobia! It’s called Triskaidekaphobia…and clearly Brendon Fevola suffers from it if Friday night is any indication. Actually, he must have plenty of phobias that have caused him to not give a shit during various games in his career. The poor bloke…

Speaking of lucky numbers, Nick Naitanui makes it great to love the West Coast number 9 again!

Obviously, nobody from Geelong or St Kilda is afflicted with Triskaidekaphobia as both clubs have started the season undefeated with thirteen straight wins. They face each other next week…you might be made aware of it this week. Approximately 458 times! So beware…

Ah, Barry? Are you serious? Are you that bloody stupid? Yep. appears so!

Adelaide’s Ben Rutten was also a little unlucky on Saturday when his number was drawn out at random in the Barry Hall Brain Fade Sweepstakes. First prize was a smack in the head! Hall has done worse during his career; much, much worse; but you can pretty much guarantee that the number of AFL games he has left with the Swans is less than thirteen!

Sure I just broke my leg but…man, this pain whistle is freakin’ awesome! I’m the luckiest man alive!!!

Once the morphine wears off, young Roo Ben Warren will be feeling more than a touch unlucky. Jade Rawlings will now be feeling a little bit unlucky…that his side doesn’t play the West Coast Eagles in Melbourne every week. But the unluckiest people from last week…Michael Jackson fans who had bought tickets for his comeback tour! And don’t forget the Farrah Fawcett fans too…

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The Games:

Hey, none of this is my fault! If you pricks just kicked the ball exactly where I want it every single time, I can just kick goals and be a legend. So wake up to yourselves boys!!!

Look out, Carlton is coming…undone! Essendon destroyed the Blues by 69 points in front of a massive crowd at the ‘G on a night where the Bombers could do no wrong. Even their bad news was relatively good. The loss caused major embarrassment for the favoured Blues and the coach might be getting a little fed up with his flakey, disinterested, sook-arse full forward. Would they dare drop him? Yeah, right!

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Well, you guys try telling Barry that he’s being a dickhead…I’m not gunna do it! Do you think I’m crazy?!

Barry Hall and Sydney hit Adelaide with everything they had but the Crows fought back late to win a vital game that could just about sink the Swans for 2009. With the freakish Brett Burton due back shortly, the Crows appear finals bound…and no team would want to visit the city of Adelaide in September!

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Heath Shaw shows that it’s much better to fly than to lie!

See what happens when the dickhead element at a footy club is reigned in? Pay attention Carlton and Sydney! Swan, Didak and Shaw come up big as the Pies bulldoze Fremantle in the second half and stick it to all those nasty, nasty critics. The Dockers also lost Matthew Pavlich to injury and are fast running out of excuses. Nah, Mark Harvey will come up with a few more yet…

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Unhappy? Vossy looks fairly happy to me…but then he has always been pretty pleased with himself!

Melbourne may have picked first in the 2008 draft but Brisbane may have been the biggest winner by selecting Daniel Rich. The Lions were also easy winners on Saturday night as the Demons continue to stink up the competition. But fear not, loyal Dees fans – Gary Lyon will come back soon and fix everything…as if he would leave his cushy media gigs to coach that lot!

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Charming! But she was right…LeCras missed the shot so it was only worth one finger.

Hawthorn’s attempt to defend their 2008 premiership was already looking shaky….and it just got a whole lot worse! Nic Naitanui, the Fijian-born rookie who did stuff-all for three quarters, sparked the West Coast Eagles with three final quarter goals for a famous win that leaves the Hawks in all sorts of bother. Once John Worsfold figures out what to make of the kid, he should be a beauty!

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Yes, Mrs Murdoch, I am wearing Bonds! They’re very comfy undies!

Geelong warm up for the St Kilda game with a cruisey win over Port Adelaide and continue to put together an amazing sequence of sustained awesomeness. Mark Thompson has now extended his contract for another couple of seasons…wonder how many milliseconds he took to mull over that one? Mark Williams, on the other hand, must be pissed that his contract situation is blowing up in the midst of his team’s sucky streak. That’s probably why he has gone into Terry Wallace salesman mode in order to save his own arse…

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STACKS ON!!!

It was a hard slog, and the coach thought they were a little bit sleepy, but the Westen Bulldogs stayed in the box seat for a top four spot with a win over the Crockeroos. The new North Melbourne coach was pleased with the direction his team was taking and one rookie in particular. Well, he didn’t break his leg so that gives him an edge over their other first year players!

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Sorry Max, it’s too late to take you to the hospital…we have to deliver this baby right here, right now!

If you’d have said that one team would fail to kick a goal in the first quarter of the St Kild-Richmond game, it would have to be Richmond, right? Wrong! The Saints were down two goals to zip at quarter time! Of course, they responded by keeping the Tigers away from goal for about 90 minutes or so and kept their unbeaten reord intact for another week. Now they play Geelong and coach Ross Lyon is getting excited…if he is, it might just be for the first time in his life!

It Could Have Been Worse! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Thought that Scott Pendlebury’s season and all my Dream Team matchups were completely screwed at this moment. In the end…not that bad!

Fortunately, the Scott Pendlebury knee injury is not season-ending so bigger things await the Magpie star later on in the year. But what about Half Back Flanker – do bigger things await our fantasy teams come finals time? We are still in contention for all our leagues and even managed two wins from three in our AFL Dream Team leagues despite the Pendlebury injury.

Our Herald Sun Super Coach defeat was heartbreaking…a mere 35 points away from beating the third placed team, who now replace us in second spot on the ladder. With Jack Ziebell’s season all but over and an injury to ruck star Dean Cox, we have a few interesting decisions to make in order to break our two-match losing streak.

Our highlight for the weekend though was a last-gasp victory in the AFL Premium Dream Team. And when we say last-gasp, we mean it! We looked gone for all money until Geelong’s Shannon Byrnes five-goal haul against Fremantle saw him rack up a massive 140-point game…giving us a 23-point win and renewed hope for our chances in this league. Hopefully, some upgrades in the trade market this week will keep us in contention until our injured duo of Josh Drummond and Cyril Rioli are back and firing.

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Let’s hope Brendon Goddard gets all X-Men style on the Tigers this round!

Dream Team 22,594 points overall, 20,351st place – back below 20 thousand overall

Last Week: 1,886 points – ok score considering we lost an elite mid in the opening minute of one game.

League Results

Public League – defeated Piss Off GC17&WS18 (1,487). You can bet that the real GC17 and WS18 will be a little better than the fantasy version…what, with all those concession draft picks coming their way!

SENFrank01 – defeated Sicilian Vespers (1,826). Upset win that keeps us well and truly in the finals race.

Twitter DT – lost to BigAl’s Bombers (2,226). Totally outclassed but still a shot for a top-four finish.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 3rd place (6-3, 122.24%)

SENFrank01 – 6th place (5-4, 101.06%)

Twitter DT – 5th place (6-3, 105.20%)

Good:  Seven 100-points games with two Dockers clearing 120 – Matthew Pavlich (expected) and Greg Broughton (not quite so expected)!

Bad: Buddy Franklin (32). I’ve held onto him all season, just expecting him to start firing at some point. Still waiting!

Ugly: The opening minute of the Collingwood-Sydney game! But at least Dream Team now allows any player with a zero score to be replaced by a reserve, even though Pendlebury started the game.

Next opponents:

Public League – 5th placed Roberts Rollers (1,935 last week). Also with a 6-3 record…along with four other teams. A good win here would keep us ahead of the pack for now.

SENFrank01 – 7th placed Demon Revival (1,783 last week). The loser of this one might struggle to finish in the eight. Must win game!

Twitter DT – 9th placed Soaring 09 (2,103 last week). A few injury concerns with Cox,  Ziebell and Simon Goodwin but a solid team overall.

Potential changes/trades: Saving our remaining seven trades until the business end of things so will just move Pendlebury to the bench for a week or two, Hawthorn’s Beau Muston to take his spot. Taylor Walker will also become an emergency in place of the omitted Steele Sidebottom.

Captain: Brendon Goddard (102.67 avg.) should have a field day against the Tigers at the Dome on Sunday so the captaincy is his.

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How do you replace a broken Cox? The answer…very carefully!

Super Coach 24,374 points overall, 21,129th place – up by a couple of thousand.

Last Week: 2,105 points – third week in a row with over 2,100 points.

League Results

GMHBA – lost to Kervos Heroes (2,138). The Ziebell injury proved very costly as we lose our second straight game.

Ladder Positions

GMHBA – 3rd place (6-3, 110.50%)

Good:  Ten 100-plus scores, four of those over 120. Chuck in six other scores over 90 points and that’s a pretty good week. However…

Bad: …Ziebell’s 10-point outing and another sub-50 score from stand-in ruckman Shane Mumford. Remember – we lost by just 33 points.

Ugly: Went with Demon Kyle Cheney (36) on field instead of Docker Stephen Hill (89). That selection decision alone was the difference between winning and losing.

Next opponents:

GMHBA – 11th placed Jamesisfullofcrap  (1,885 last week). The team itself is not full of crap but they have the same decision to make as us with the injured Dean Cox.

Potential changes/trades: With Cox out, Mumford is our only ruckman playing this round. So what do we do? Trade Cox? Trade bench guy Sam Jacobs for Nick Naitanui or Tyrone Vickery? With eight trades left, any move we make should be geared towards either cashing in or buying stars to help us win the league…and neither of those moves help strengthen our squad. So seriously thinking of leaving the team as is and playing one short in the hope that Cox is back next round, bigger and better.

Captain: Gary Ablett had a rare sub-100 game last weekend but we can’t see it happening two weeks in a row.

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Shannon Byrnes saves the day for Geelong…not to mention our Premium Dream Team!

Premium Dream Team

Last Week: 1,542 points – Our best score so far…though that’s not exactly a great achievement.

League Results

Public League – defeated Baywatch Manboobs! (1,519). Snatched victory from the jaws of defeat!

Ladder Positions

Public League – 5th place (2-1, 99.98%)

Good:  Apart from Byrnes, captain Adam Cooney, Jobe Watson, Aaron Davey and Hamish McIntosh all topped 100 points.

Bad: Steven Dodd was drafted in late after Bret Thornton’s late withdrawal two weeks ago. Didn’t waste any time bringing Thornton back at Dodd’s expense this week!

Ugly: He had been serviceable before this but Ben McGlynn’s horror week was enough to trade him away.

Next opponents:

Public League – 10th placed Dirty Sanchez (1,411 last week). Both ruckman are out and a couple of other injury woes will make it easier for us to win three in a row.

Potential changes/trades: Made two trades on Sunday night – Thornton in for Dodd and Bulldog Jarrod Harbrow in for McGlynn. The third trade was used to upgrade the defence with young Blue Dennis Armfield making way for Bomber veteran Dustin Fletcher.

Captain: Adam Cooney retains the captaincy as he looks to be nearing Brownlow form again and should do well against the Kangaroos.

Round Twelve – What Happened Again?

Mmm…tasty! Friday night viewing at its finest starring Chris Judd…

But not even the prospect of a blood-splattered reunion could keep his girlfriend away. Now that is true love!

Wow, that split round seems to drag on forever, doesn’t it! Feels like an age between Juddy’s face explosion on Friday June 12th and Cam Mooney brain explosions yesterday at Subiaco. Can barely remember most of what happened in between. If only one could find some kind of pictorial montage to help jog the memory…

Hmmm…

Looks like the guy responsible for captions at Channel Seven took time off during the split round! Wonder who filled in for him and came up with this howler? My money is on David Schwarz…

Ben Cousins and Daniel Kerr reflecting on old times…the ones they can remember, of course!

If you thought Juddy’s nose made you a little squeamish, how did you go when the Brisbane medicos popped Troy Selwood’s shoulder back into place!

Sorry, did you say $800,000? How is this guy going to find enough money to pay Nathan Buckley to coach his club?

Well done, Mick. Remember – if the knife touches the bottom, you have to kiss the nearest boy! Now imagine if Buckley was the coach…Eddie would bring cake every week!!!

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The Games:

Suffer in ya jocks, Hawthorn! Hawk reject Zac Dawson actually kicks a goal of his own that helps sink Carlton and keeps St Kilda unbeaten after 12 rounds.

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Anyone ever associated with the Richmond Football Club joins in to sing the song after they beat West Coast. Well, it rarely happens so let them have their fun!

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The Doggies took a nice trip to Darwin, chilled out inside a coolroom and they destroyed Port Adelaide during the split round. It was like they have just had two weeks off…lucky them!

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Great win by the Lions…and you just know that whatever Browny is drinking there, it sure ain’t Powerade!!!

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Dean Laidley’s wild week started with an important trip to Adelaide…it ended with a sudden resignation and a visit from Mick Molloy! Rough week…

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Very predictable result on Friday night. Melbourne = shit, Essendon = promising, Mark McVeigh = dumb!

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I tipped Sydney to win, I have Scott Pendlebury in my fantasy team and I don’t like Collingwood very much. What a shitty Saturday night! Thumbs down, Barry. Thumbs down!

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They keep racking up win after win but any time a Geelong forward misses a sitter in front of goals, that’s the story right there! Especially when this hairy bloke is involved…

Prolonging The Agony! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Our verdict of the long countdown between games for fantasy footy? It bites!!!

Having a mid-season split round, where the eight games are spread out over two weekends, is certainly beneficial for many in the footy community. It allows battle-weary players a richly-deserved (in most cases…) week off to unwind and prepare for the second half of the season. It also allows disillusioned senior coaches the time to reflect on their future direction and the viability of their current position. And it provides footy clubs with a little extra time to figure out what the heck they are going to do when their disillusioned senior coaches reflects on his future direction and quits his current position.

But what is the impact on the split round for fantasy coaches? Well, it probably depends on the performance of those players who participated in the five AFL matches played last weekend. If those players fired and your teams look set for victory, it is a very pleasant time. If your team is in trouble, you’ve had a full week of kicking yourself and your dodgy decision making before being put out of your misery!

So…which camp is Half Back Flanker in? We definitely need to bounce back after a disappointing round that saw us knocked out of the Eliminator in Dream Team and narrowly defeated by Sheeds in Super Coach! Read on to find out…

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Dream Team

20,708 points overall, 19,951th place – 1,836 points last round.

Current Round:

986 points – 12 players (captain yet to play).

Public League

Last Round: lost to Uninformed (1,999). Third straight loss but big percentage keeps us fourth.

Ladder – 4th place (5-3, 121.69%)

Current opponents: 14th placed Piss Off GC17 & WS18 (1,311 last round). 841 points – 11 players (no captain). Fantastic name, not so great team…well, no captain is a giveaway! Should snap the losing streak…

SENFrank01

Last Round: lost to The Dominators (2,007). Expected a greater margin of defeat, loss sees us two games back from fifth placed team.

Ladder – 6th place (4-4, 100.79%)

Current opponents: 2nd placed Sicilian Vespers (1,990 last week). 1,052 points – 14 players (captain yet to play). Two player advantage and only down 66 points, outside shot at a win…particularly if my captain (Joel Selwood) outscores his captain (Gary Ablett).

Twitter DT

Last Round: defeated Dodge This (1,671). Three-match win streak and now three wins ahead of ninth placed team. Looks like we are headed to the finals in this league.

Ladder – 4th place (6-2, 108.50%)

Current opponents: 1st placed Big Al’s Bombers (1,842 last week). 1,263 points – 13 players (captain played). I have two extra players and the captain this weekend to make up the difference but big Al appears to have too many elite players going around this weekend as well. Trouble…big trouble!

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Super Coach

22,269 points overall, 23,971th place – 2,131 points last round.

Current Round:

935 points – 10 players (captain yet to play).

GMHBA

Last Round: lost to Sheedy’s Superstars  (2,192 last week). Regretting a couple of selections for reserves and persisting with Shane Mumford. Would have loved to knock off Sheeds…maybe in the finals.

Ladder – 2nd place (6-2, 112.32%)

Current opponents: 3rd placed Kervos Heroes (1,973 last week). 1,336 points – 15 players (captain yet to play). Both have Gary Ablett as captain so it will come down to whether my five extra players can make up the 400 or so points to pinch the win.

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Premium Dream Team

Last Round: 1,383 points – Poor start to the season continues

Current Round: 1,018 points – 12 players (captain played) -

Public League

Last Round: defeated Sydney Blast (1,208). Lucky we played these guys last week considering our ongoing injury woes.

Ladder – 6th place (1-1, 99.18%)

Current opponents: 2nd placed Baywatch Manboobs (1,506 last week). 1,084 points – 11 players (captain played) Thanks to a big night from Manboobs captain (as opposed to Captain Manboobs!) Nick Riewoldt, probably in trouble this round and not liking my chances in this comp at all!

Round Eleven – The Excitement Builds In Western Sydney

The suburbs of western Sydney look exactly like this year’s NAB ad…well, it would if you removed every single Sherrin!

Half Back Flanker went on a bit of a field trip for round eleven of the AFL season and ventured out into the Aussie rules footballing hotbed that could well be soon on the receiving end of the 18th AFL franchise. I thought it might be nice to gauge the levels of excitement and anticipation from the millions of  residents in the west of Sydney as they count down to the arrival of their very own AFL club.

Well, having left Sydney and returned to Swine Flu Central…I can’t say that Sydney’s west is exactly swept up in AFL fever. It was like round eleven never actually happened! Not exactly sure why Andy D is so gung-ho about expanding into western Sydney..no, actually I am – there are a shitload of people out there! And they are watching plenty of footy. But let me tell you something…they ain’t watching our game!

If you wanted to talk to the locals about how the Tigers died in the arse during the second half on Friday Night football, they would have agreed. But they are talking the Wests Tigers in the NRL…not Richmond! And while the coach of the West Tigers might be in trouble, at least he still has a job…and he actually won something during his time there. Terry Wallace has neither of those things…

Richmond fans in western Sydney had to stay up past 2am on Saturday morning to watch Terry Wallace coach the Tigers to the last loss of his career.

And just say that you were keen to check out the Tigers-Doggies game and lived in western Sydney – you had to wait until after 11pm for the start of the match on Channel Seven. The Friday night marquee event AFL game and a massive audience in the largest growth area in Australia that has been targeted to adopt your code…and they are the last group of people in the entire country to see it?

And things didn’t improve on Saturday either. The ladder-leading Saints had another win? Nuh, they didn’t play until Monday night and they (being St George Illawarra) lost to the Gold Coast. And if you settled down in the family home to watch the action on a Saturday night, no AFL either. It was rugby union between the Wallabies and Barbarians…where the Lions were British, not Brisbane, and the Blues were from Auckland, not Carlton. If you went to the pub for some pay TV footy action, it was all about Johnathan Thurston and his Cowboys – not Toby Thurstans and the victorious Port Adelaide!

At least we saw some AFL action on Sunday with the Sydney Swans playing Hawthorn…it was live and everything. Sure, every pub with a TV had the rugby league on but those with a second screen were showing the Swannies. Sure enough, the Swans lost; in part to a classic Barry Hall brain-snap; and big bad Bazza has pretty much been the only AFL coverage in the Sydney media for the next three days.

Another Barry brain-snap…but it’s probably the only way to keep AFL and the Swans in the Sydney papers!

Say what you like about the hot-headed Swans spearhead but if it wasn’t for Barry Hall doing stupid things on a regular basis, the term ‘AFL’ would barely be uttered up there. Gary Ablett and the Cats keep tearing up the competition…read the scores in the paper the following day. The Crows and Bombers put on a great show with some spectacular goals…didn’t watch or listen to a second of it! Probably just as well for me…

And how about the latest teenage whizkid to hit the big time! Huh, who the hell is Jack Watts? They are talking about rising Wallabies star James O’Connor and his selection in the best rugby team in the country. They wouldn’t have the first idea about Watts making his highly (try ‘overly’) publicised debut for the worst team in the league – which just happened to coincide with Melbourne’s home game blockbuster against the biggest crowd drawing team. What a funny coincidence…

So, despite the miserable skies and hail storms greeting me at the airport, it was great to arrive back at the home of AFL football and catch up on what happened in round eleven. The guy behind the success at the Swans has doubts about the new Sydney club…and after my experience last weekend, I would have to agree.

Look Out Sheeds! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Taking on the almighty Sheeds for top spot in my Super Coach league! Bring it on…

With scores of over 2,000 in both AFL Dream Team and Herald Sun Super Coach competitions last weekend, Half Back Flanker teams managed to perform well in their respective leagues. We have also survived another round of the Dream Team Eliminator to defy all rankings and expectations! The only real disappointment came in the opening weekend of the Premium Dream Team comp, where multiple injuries before and during last round hit the team hard and will force radical changes on us this week as well.

But this upcoming round will be memorable just for the opportunity to be taking on a legitimate footy guru in the fantasy stakes. Legendary coach and provider of much joy (and occasional confusion) for this Bomber fan, Kevin Sheedy, has his fantasy team Sheedy’s Superstars in our Herald Sun Super Coach public league. We face off this week and with his side undefeated, and HBF in outright second, it is a top-of-the-table clash that carries plenty of kudos for this fantasy owner.

But, in what is the weekly ritual here, first task is to wade through the injury carnage from last weekend and come up with 22 fit players. And there is a major casualty…Chad Cornes is out for a number of weeks and that affects every fantasy team we own. Including the Premium Dream Team where he was our second round draft pick! Crap!!!

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Last year, it was the finger. This year, it’s the knee! Chad’s out so it’s time to trade…or is it?

Dream Team 18,872 points overall, 18,538th place – slight improvement overall and closing in on best overall ranking for the season.

Last Week: 2,048 points – break the 2,000 barrier for the second time and best weekly effort this year.

League Results

Public League – lost to Woosha Warriors (2,091). A second straight narrow loss sees us drop to fourth but it is more fun losing a close one than winning against teams that aren’t trying!

SENFrank01 – defeated Murphys Demons  (1,769). Four straight wins sees us climb up to sixth on the ladder, two wins up on SEN’sFrancis Leach.

Twitter DT – defeated Krazy Kanadians (1,153). Great percentage booster…which I desperately needed.

Eliminator – defeated Cyril Says (1,947). Still alive! Down to the last 4,096 teams and survived much longer than last year.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 4th place (5-2, 127.46%)

SENFrank01 – 6th place (4-3, 102.24%)

Twitter DT – 4th place (5-2, 108.31%)

Good:  Nine 100-plus scores, including three over 130 (Goddard, Adcock and Joel Selwood) and a ton for new buy Greg Broughton.

Bad: A few of the usual suspects – Shannon Hurn (52) and Shane Mumford (42) are not stars so you have to live with that. But Buddy Franklin (48) is far from the figure that lit up the AFL in 2008.

Ugly: Chad Cornes…and his knee injury that put him out of action for a while, leaving me with star-studded but non-contributing bench of Cornes and Hodge.

Next opponents:

Public League – 8th placed Uninformed (1,870 last week). Good midfielders and Cox/Sandilands ruck combo…capable of a big score.

SENFrank01 – 4th placed The Dominators (2,148 last week). One of the top 1,500 teams overall…looks like my win streak is over!

Twitter DT – 11th placed Dodge This (1,785 last week). Short in defence and has Chad Cornes but with two decent trades, could well become a tough match-up.

Eliminator – Danish Summer (2,228 last week) We have quite a number of the same players but they have more depth and two strong rucks. Last hurrah for me!

Potential changes/trades: With Dempsey and Hodge back this week, might take a gamble and hold onto Cornes for now. We can cash him in at a later date. But it might be time to cash in on Dayne Beams with Beau Muston’s price due to go through the roof after this round following two impressive AFL games so far. And to have any chance of progressing in the Eliminator, I need to upgrade Mumford in the ruck. Fell just short of having enough cash for Dean Cox but went with Hamish McIntosh for an all North Melbourne ruck duo.

Captain: Joel Selwood looks a great choice in what should be another dominant midfield performance by the Cats at Subiaco against the Eagles. Vice captain is a toss-up between Pendlebury and Goddard.

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Super Coach 20,138 points overall, 24,227th place – another slight increase but a long way from my season-high overall position in round four.

Last Week: 2,148 points – second best score for the season but also well below my top mark.

League Results

GMHBA – defeated Bite Back (1,999). Good win puts me in outright second and a shot at top spot this weekend.

Ladder Positions

GMHBA – 2nd place (6-1, 115.09%)

Good:  Twelve players with 100-plus scores, including five of our six midfielders. Having ‘new guy’ Ablett (150) as captain helped boost our total though Dane Swan produced a 166!

Bad: Six players with under 50 points…including four defenders, three due to injury and the other being new whipping boy Heath Grundy.

Ugly: Unfortunately, the injury situation will probably mean that Grundy has to stay for now. Cornes, Dempsey, Sam Gilbert and Stephen Hill could all potentially be missing this week. If that happens, our battle with Sheeds will be severely hampered.

Next opponents:

GMHBA – 1st placed Sheedy’s Superstars  (2,143 last week). Surprised that he doesn’t have Kepler Bradley, Mark Bolton, Dean Wallis and Kevin Walsh…that is his dream team!

Potential changes/trades: The decision to trade Cornes in Super Coach was forced through the injury to Sam Gilbert. We went for Xavier Ellis at a saving of around 80 grand, the Hawks defender just back from injury and averaging over 100 in the two games he completed fully. We also did the Beau Muston for Dayne Beams trade to raise more funds…now have 250 grand but only eight trades left and upgrades still required down back, in the middle and the second ruck.

Captain: Dane Swan outscored Ablett last weekend and faces lowly Melbourne on Monday. With some doubts over Gazza’s fitness, will go with Swan and hand the vice captaincy to Dean Cox. But just for this week only…

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Premium Dream Team

Last Week: 1,529 points – There were worse scores in our league but ours was way off the leaders.

League Results

Public League – lost to Teal Power (1,728). Not a great start.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 6th place (0-1, 88.48%)

Good:  Four 100-plus scores, including vice-captain Brad Sewell’s 133 (49 points higher than captain Bryce Gibbs…damn) and the draft gamble on injured Cat Shannon Byrnes paid off with a whopping 136 return against Essendon.

Bad: Apart from the ruck position, all our reserves scored higher than at least one on-field player in their positions…including Jack Grimes (86) who was our third highest scoring defender.

Ugly: First, I drafted Chad Cornes into midfield by mistake instead of defence. Then, he scores poorly. And now, he requires knee surgery! Oh, and Sam Gilbert has an ankle problem. And have I mentioned Jarrad Waite and Roger Hayden? I know have just three fit defenders from my original draft…

Next opponents:

Public League – 9th placed Sydney Blast  (1,241 last week). Solid but unspectacular team with only one 100-plus player last week…Chris Tarrant!?

Potential changes/trades: Chad Cornes out for reigning Brownlow medalist Adam Cooney in the hope that he has a big second half to the year. Michael Johnson out for teammate Steven Dodd…he was probably the best of what was left.

Captain: Brad Sewell is usually a pretty good choice…though I worry with him facing Sydney on Sunday…

Round Ten – A Series Of Perfect Tens

Ben Cousins filming the latest promo for One HD, Ten’s new 24 hour sports channel.

Ten was the magic number last weekend. St Kilda won its tenth straight game to start the season while Geelong matched them to also remain unbeaten after ten rounds of footy. They appear to be set on a collision course for round 14 in the biggest blockbuster game of the season…to be played in the smallest stadium in town. But fear not, footy fans – we will surely get to see the game live on TV…won’t we?

Channel Ten was the other big winner out of the weekend’s action when former Eagles champ Ben Cousins chose to vent his frustration with a single-fingered salute right down the barrel of a camera as he returned to play in Western Australia for the first time as a Tiger. Sure, Benny thought it was just a bit of fun but the League will want an explanation as they seem to have a different opinion on what exactly is fun….as we all know from years of questionable grand final entertainment!

Terry’s time up at Richmond? Wow, that came out of left field…never saw that coming.

Then there is our old friend Terry Wallace. Despite his struggling side recording a rare win on the weekend, he and the Tigers announced today that they are parting ways after Friday night’s clash with the Bulldogs. The conference can be read in full here but the general gist of it all was that the Tigers are somehow better off now (with an extra five years of failure) than when he began, that his coaching career is pretty much over and that he’s kinda sorry for what happened at the Bulldogs in 2002. I’m sure the Doggies fans can’t wait to express their gratitude to him on Friday night…

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The Games:

Fev clearly doesn’t know how to perform a Pressed Ham against the Glass…maybe he’s asking the umpire how it’s done!

Did the hysteria about the poor play at Carlton get a little out of hand last week? Sure, the Blues did have their arses handed to them by Adelaide last week but you’d have thought they were level with Richmond on the ladder by the amount of whining. But a little siege mentality, including the fortnightly Robert Walls Carlton focus article, helped inspire them to ease past the Eagles at home on Friday night. West Coast are no longer making finals their priority…we think that is wise!

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Brisbane score a solid away win against North Melbourne on the back of some exciting young players and their exciting young finals-talking coach. The Roos wasted no time delving into a comprehensive post-mortem…perhaps they can send an update to fans who spent most of the first quarter sampling the many seating options at Whatshishead Stadium. Sounds like a fun place to watch footy…

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One behind in a quarter? Think Roosy might kick 22 behinds this week at training!

The Western Bulldogs looked right at home in the nation’s capital of fireworks and pornography with a comfortable win over the Swans that places them at the head of the class for next-best underneath Geelong and St. Kilda. The Swans managed to keep Aker quiet (no mean feat…whatever the context of ‘keeping quiet’!) but it was not a great day for them. Maybe the ‘other’ Sydney team will have more luck up there.

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Terry wants to celebrate a rare win so he finds a guy who knows how to party…

…though perhaps he needs to learn from ‘Aussie’ Guus Hiddink…now that’s one guy who knows how to party!

It was always going to be a big game for Ben Cousins returning to the west…and didn’t he love being back in WA! Well, he and the rest of the Tigers were loving it when they scraped over the line against Freo in a thrilling finale. Mark Harvey’s side almost pulled off the win despite a multitude of injuries…yep, cue the debate for substitute players.

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Samuel L Jackson just wants to get these mother-flippin’ Saints of this mother-freakin’ plane!

No disrespect to Melbourne (of course…) but St Kilda’s biggest issue this weekend was not the game but travelling amongst the dirty, swine-infected members of the general public. They all made it safely and took care of the Demons without a great deal of difficulty…though they did get a little cutesy. The Saints now look forward to winning the next three before the Geelong game while Dean Bailey will focus his team on losing to Collingwood next week.

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Adelaide blew away the reigning champs in the first half to record another win at home…and may have just unearthed a new goal kicking hero in the process. Neil Craig was suitable impressed…Al Clarkson? Hmm, not so much! And does he think they will bounce back right away? No, not really.

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Shoulda turned back, boys…shoulda turned back!

May as well just recycle the reports from round two in 2008…Essendon received a comprehensive football lesson from Geelong with coach Matthew Knights planning to use this loss as a leaning aid for his players. The only point that is unique to 2009 is that while the Cats keep racking up wins and proving a point against all opponents, they are referring to St Kilda as the benchmark. Yeah, nice try…

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A light tower loses power at the MCG on Sunday as Port Adelaide stink it up on the field, prompting all manner of kooky headlines… oh, delicious irony! The Pies blitz the Power in the second half and, after copping plenty of criticism a fortnight ago, now they are headed for the top four. In fact, Mike Sheahan has already chalked them up for another four wins during the next month…and he never gets it wrong, does he!