Clash Jumper Equals Crap Football?

Clash Jumper = Crap Football? 

 Would you be caught dead in this? (Source:

 If Adrian Anderson is desperate for some more raw data to analyse, and something tells me the answer is “by jingoes, yes”, try this on for size. There is a 66 per cent chance that your alternate or clash jumper will produce a downturn in footballing output…with the crappier look of the jumper more likely to produce the crappier football.

Richmond and Melbourne certainly proved this theory correct while Carlton, in a mostly-white number, managed to hold on against Port Adelaide, though the Blues jumper is nowhere near as crappy as the other two. Sure, you might be able to suck more cash out of the kids and hardcore fans…but is it really worth the pain and suffering that a dumb-arse clash jumper provides?

Anyhow, while the rest of the football and non-football world freaks out at the prospect of two new teams being introduced by 2012, here is the wrap of yesterday’s NAP Cup action and a look ahead to the final matches of the opening round.

Geelong enjoyed a light training run against Melbourne and Steve Johnson stood out for the Cats with six goals, proving yet again that the guy is a genius for about three hours a week and a moron the rest of the time

But new Demons coach Dean Bailey, clearly an optimist, managed to find a few positives…the biggest one being they don’t have to face Geelong again until April 6th! Those stupid clash jumpers the Dees sported can’t have helped much either…even if they produced them purely to make money, what Melbourne fan would pay anything over ten bucks to wear that piece of crap?

Carlton have performed well at this time of year for the past few seasons and they did it again yesterday, and with Port being under strength, it is far from the major surprise touted in this article. But at least the Blues went against the clash jumper=crap football trend established by Richmond and Melbourne.

Another point – it must be a requirement now that every headline and match report about the Blues has to include the name Chris Judd, regardless of whether he plays or not. No, that won’t get old fast…

It resembled Schoolies Week at times but Essendon’s kids beat Brisbane’s kids on the Gold Coast last night to win the battle of the half-baked teams. Plenty of good signs for the Bombers with most of the young’uns performing well except for Scott Gumbleton, who broke down in tears after tearing a hamstring early on. Well, crying worked for Hirdy back in 1999…

Matthew Knights seems to have slipped comfortably into his role, with a good mix of traditional cliches (‘we still have a long way to go’) and the new addition to coach-speak “defensive actions”….which basically means “Hey, we need more than just Alwyn Davey making tackles, you know…”

Hawthorn v Sydney (Fox)

The Hawks have become the trendy pick to emerge in 2008, with a forward line containing flashy forward Buddy Franklin, the returning Mark Williams and rookie Cyril Rioli. Shane Crawford will play down in Tassie before missing the opening three rounds due to suspensionfollowing an incident in last year’s semi-final – a silly moment he wishes he could have over again. Um, what about dacking Sam Newman on live TV? Or Hank Bulger? And, clearly, the guy has never tried to read that coffee table book he released a few years ago

The Swans are making their token appearance in the NAP Cup as they are not focused on winning because of the new interchange rule. Actually, they never try in the preseason…this rule is just a very nifty excuse. Sydney will show up, lose then bide their time until round one when they will unleash their stars, such as the reconstructed Barry Hall. Spida Everitt, however, might need a little longer.

Subiaco, Perth- 7:10pm (local): Fremantle v West Coast (Fox)

Footy-mad West Australians will be loving this early preview for the passionate derby matches of the regular season. Mark Harvey begins his first full season as Frementle coach with an aim to improve on-field discipline, a problem that also existed when he was an assistant at Essendon. With Jeff Farmer, Dean Solomon and now another former Bomber in Mark Johnsonto deal with…good luck Harvs, you’ll need a lot of it!

West Coast have had their own issues with off-field discipline but after years of turning a blind eye, the club is looking to clean up its act. With Judd and Cousins gone and Daniel Kerr missing for a while, this match is a good chance to give some new players some game time…provided they can tear themselves away from the drug testers!


One response to “Clash Jumper Equals Crap Football?

  1. Pingback: Football Royalty Rules Again (Round Eleven - God Save The Queen!) « Half Back Flanker - The AFL Blog

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