Round Five – ‘Life After Barry’ Round

Just a quick clarification, that headline refers to Barry Hall’s suspension and this round of football being ‘Life After Barry’…we are not prematurely killing off a former Brownlow medallist and Sydney great by preparing for ‘life after Barry Round’!

We all know Barry Hall…footballer, boxer, mind-snapper. We all know what he did and that we won’t be seeing him for long time. So with big bad bustling Barry Brainfade kicking back on a psychiatrist’s couch for the next two months, are we likely to see such an ugly incident on an AFL field ever again? We certainly hope not…but wouldn’t it be amazing if a similar incident occurred this weekend!!!

But who would be so moronic as to do something like that? Is there a player out there that could be that damn idiotic to clock an opponent behind the play just days after the sucker punch that stopped the nation?

Sure there is! Just look at Kane Johnson copying the Fev by weeing outside…nobody could believe the stupidity but yet, it happened. So for every match in ‘Life After Barry’ round, we identify which player is most likely to suffer from one of Barry’s embarrassing brain or mind fades or snaps or explosions.

TEAM NEWS

TIPS FOR ‘LIFE AFTER BARRY’ ROUND

SAINTS by 16: Well, if St Kilda can’t beat a hamstrung Essendon then perhaps they are in a bit of strife!

CATS by 21: Geelong have 13 players set to be involved in the Hall of Fame match next month – that’s over half their team! How the heck can a mere AFL club beat these guys?

CROWS by 18: Unless Jeff Farmer kicks as many goals as both he and Tarrant used to, (back when they could play), Adelaide should be fine.

HAWKS by 21: We predict that Leigh Matthews might be a little distracted by the events of 1985 and the Hawks will score a vital win in BrisVegas

PIES by 5: The Pies will be buzzing now that Jono Brown will captain Collingwood next season…pfffft!

BLUES by 45: Carlton to win two matches in a row? Wow – all of Brett Ratten’s Christmases have come at once!

DOGS by 31: Richmond may have scored a big upset in the west but two wins in a row? No way – that’s just not their style at all!

EAGLES by 16: One of these psycho coaches might suffer a Barry-Hall style brain snap if they lose another game…we’d prefer it to be John Worsfold but think it might be Mark Williams instead.

Tonight’s action:

THE “STEVEN BAKER MEMORIAL” MATCH

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:40pm (local): St Kilda v Essendon (SEVEN)

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