LOSING TO ESSENDON…DOES NOT COMPUTE!
Man, that was close! In the battle of man verses machine, those fragile humans from Windy Hill came within a goal of upsetting the Crowbots. The football was far from pretty and Crowbot Commander Neil Craig would have blown a circuit board had they lost but he appeared ok after the match. Matthew Knights on the other hand…
No, I’m not crying…it’s just raining on my face…
Knights did manage to get a much improved performance from his struggling young side and has plenty of reasons to be pleased with what he saw. One of these days, his humans will rise up and prevail over the might of the machines…well, in a couple of years at least!
Here is the rundown for the remaining games as we say Welcome To The 21st Century :
Brodie Holland has designed his own space-age alternative strip…don’t think Eddie will like it!
MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Collingwood v West Coast (TEN)
- The Magpies were awesome against Geelong but they weren’t the only ones to clean up last Friday…the bookies loved it too!
- At least with Collingwood playing West Coast, we won’t have to put up with Eddie McGuire’s fired-up clash strip bullshit this week!
- If there is one club that will be glad the AFL has finally embraced modern technology, it will be the Eagles!
- As much as Craig Hutchison dearly wants it to happen, Daniel Kerr insists he is not leaving West Coast and is keen to stay long-term;
- The Pies may have nullified Geelong’s awesome midfield but West Coast were equally dominant against the Crows last week…that clash should be a highlight!
The locals are excited about the start of the 21st century…little do they know it actually kicked off about eight years ago!
Aurora Stadium, Launceston – 2:10pm (local): Hawthorn v Western Bulldogs (FOX)
- A high-scoring top-of-the-table blockbuster in the Apple Isle…the locals will be loving it!
- Sure – life won’t be easy for the Hawks now that they are top of the ladder…but it sure beats being in Melbourne’s shoes!
- Honestly, did anyone really think that Sam Mitchell would risk missing this game in the hope of staying alive in the Brownlow?
- The Dogs reckon they have moved on after last week’s loss…well, everyone except Brad Johnson;
- We all know that Hawthorn are very good but that won’t stop opposition coaches from talking them up big time…especially when they are just about to play them!
Brisbane are a successful club with a multi-million dollar turnover…can’t they invent some hi-tech pants that won’t fall down?
- Brisbane are playing good footy and aiming for the top four – well the Roos finished top four last year so beating them tonight would be a good start!
- And it seems the key to good footy is keeping your top players in good health…what a radical concept…
- But good health is something North are struggling with at the moment and plenty of young players are getting a chance to play as a result…
- Including a young Queenslander who will make his debut in Brisbane – and play pretty well for a couple of years before the new Gold Coast franchise lures him home!
- It seems that Brent Harvey is a very damaging player…even when he is sitting on the bench!
Tattoo removal via laser technology can fix this little spelling error…not that there’s anything wrong with being a Gay Premier!
Telstra Dome, Melb- 7:10pm (local): Geelong v Carlton (TEN)
- Mark Thompson feels that last week’s loss proves that they are like any other team…yeah, like any other team that had lost one game by less than a kick in the past 12 months and won the grand final by 20 goals!
- And if they really were like any other team, why is Brett Ratten shitting bricks right about now?
- While it sure won’t be easy for Carlton, they have a plan…do exactly what Collingwood did! They even brought in a Cloke for good measure!
- Chris Judd is fine everybody…JUDD IS FINE! Well, he’d better be because he’s in our Premium Dream Team!
- Brendan Fevola’s career booze ban was an awesome idea…just don’t hold him to it in his new contract, ok!
The 21st century? No. Here’s one Sydney Swan who is destined to live in the 1980’s for the rest of his life!
- Sydney are methodically going about their business and looking good this year…so you’d think Craig Bolton could be a little bit happy about it, don’t you?
- Michael Voss, James Hird, Brett Kirk…BRETT KIRK? Who’d have picked Kirky to be listed in such esteemed company?
- Richmond captain Kane Johnson feels that they are on the improve after years (make that decades!) of futility…though Plough wouldn’t mind waiting until they beat somebody good first before getting too carried away!
- Richo is after a new contract…so now is probably a really bad time to be hobbling around with knee problems!
Auto-Tune pitch correction technology made people believe that Nick Riewoldt’s girlfriend could actually sing…
Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): St Kilda v Melbourne (SEVEN)
- St Kilda have been called many things this week, including ‘soft’ by their own coach, after the flogging in Brisbane…they have even been described as ‘bipolar’, which will just thrill those readers with a mental disorder…
- The Saints have also been labelled as ‘too slow’…though they certainly show a lot quickness when they are denying it to the press!
- Speaking of denial, Nick Riewoldt insists that his side is not soft at all…he also went on to say that his girlfriend is an awesome singer!
- Melbourne almost won last week purely on the hatred of Hawks president Jeff Kennett but how will they go this week? It’s not like a St Kilda president would ever say something silly…oops!
- But Demons coach Dean Bailey hopes his side can perform without needing a spur like Kennett or the retirement of a club stalwart…but if that’s what works then Adem Yze should start getting nervous!
These scientists are trying to come up with a reason why Freo are so shitty…no luck so far!
Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): Fremantle v Port Adelaide (FOX)
- Fremantle are trying not to dwell on their run of terrible losses…so yeah, it’s probably not the best idea for the coach to suggest that the players need a psychologist!
- More time in the midfield for Matthew Pavlich…which means it will be up to one of his team mates to miss vital shots at goal late in the game instead!
- Port Adelaide have not been that crash hot in the final quarter either…so one of these sides will break a serious run of outs this weekend;
- Mark Williams goes from season over to on the rise in just a matter of days…well, we all know Choco is mad!
- Robert Gray doesn’t care how crazy the coach gets because playing for him sure beats his previous job!