Port coach Mark Williams in happier times
After a weekend off for ‘representative duties’, round eight saw the return of ‘the real stuff’. And the AFL automatically slipped back into the usual concotion of dramatic finishes, blowout yawnfests and hot air. It started with the football world doing everything in its power to send Fraser Gehrig back into retirement…are they totally insane? Fraser could snap at any moment…and we need this to happen on the field!
Retire? Shit no! My beard has plenty of improvement left in it…
But while we really need to keep as many colourful characters in the game as possible, there are times when you wish a player would just give up on being eccentric and different. Like Hawthorn’s serial show-off Mark Williams, who took time out from doing f@#k-all for most of the afternoon to make THAT choking gesture after kicking a late goal in the Hawk’s come-from-behind win.
Classy, dude…real classy!
Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson could not apologise fast enough after the match and having worked tirelessly to create a no-fuss outfit that does not want to draw attention to how good they are, this choreographed show of arrogance was probably the last thing he needed. Well, that…and he knows how crazy the Power coach can get when he holds a grudge!
I’d like to apologise to Mark Williams for what Mark Williams did. Mark should know better. I have a lot of respect for Mark and for Mark to do that…I’ve had a chat to Mark and hopefully Mark will give Mark a call. Not that Mark probably wants to hear from Mark right now…um, I’m confused!
Sure – it is far from the worst thing you could do on a football field, and Mark Williams (the coach, not the wanker) is probably not all that fussed as he has a long history of success and a premiership while the other guy has a history of dumb-ass celebrations and long, floppy hair. So if the Hawk forward is feeling a little remorseful now, just wait until these two teams play again…
I really don’t care what that dopey-looking, show-pony does…but I think Warren Tredrea’s goal celebrations are totally rad!!
But let’s forget about all the Mark Williamses out there and look back on the events The Great Letdown:
- It was like each match on Sunday tried to out-do each other in coming up with the biggest loser. In the early match, Adelaide did it’s best to hand that award to Melbourne, the Crows kicking a shitload of goals to send the visitors back into familiar and miserable territory. And imagine what would have happened if Adelaide actually kicked straight!
- But no sooner had the Demons trudged off AAMI Stadium, the Bombers conceded the last thirteen (yep, count ’em…THIRTEEN!) goals as Sydney made an unnecessarily close encounter the rightful thrashing it deserved to be. Tadhg Kennelly dislocated his knee in the win but just a quick pit stop at the laboratory and he’ll be playing in no time!
Don’t worry Tadhg…we have the technology!
- And just when you thought no team could out-suck Essendon, Fremantle snatch yet another loss from the jaws of victory! Down by three goals in the final term, the Bulldogs stole the game to remain unbeaten after eight rounds and leave the Dockers reeling with only one win for the season. At least you expected Melbourne and Essendon to be crappy…but Freo are meant to be good!
My life sucks!
- Geelong suffered an early letdown against Richmond before realising that all they needed to do was put in a little effort and voilà – another easy win! But whatever you do – don’t compare this year’s Geelong, who have kick-ass players and barely lose, to last year’s Geelong…who had kick-ass players and barely lost!
Sick of losing yet? Not Richo…
- Hawthorn looked on track for a major letdown when Port Adelaide held a 38-point lead in the first half but Buddy Franklin and the Hawks reeled them in to win an enthralling match. And, finally, some smartalec came up with the Franklin Dam reference for a Hawks game in Tasmania!
- Carlton’s crappy first quarter virtually ended any chance they had of beating Brisbane, completely ruining the match as a spectacle. At least Jono Brown and Simon Black kept the crowd entertained while Brendan Fevola kicked another five goals. Enjoy it while it lasts because as soon as Carlton re-sign him to as megabucks deal, you can pretty much guarantee he won’t play as well as he is now!
- The Kangaroos may have won by six points over the Eagles up on the Gold Coast but it is clear that the locals hate them now! The club may still be keen to play games up there…and seeming as though they get paid to play up there and would lose money otherwise, it’s likely they will. But when somebody shuts down a light tower during one of your games, it could be a sign that you aren’t welcome…
See you next time Kangas…can’t wait.