The AFL took a brave step into the future this weekend with the introduction of computer technology to keep track of player interchange. It must have been very successful because there was no carry-on about players coming on or off the field from any section of the football community in the past few days. But while some aspects of the game have moved into the 21st century, that long-held desire for a footy player to hit his opponent right in the head remains.
This was evident by the number of brain-crunching incidents over the weekend; starting with Brett Burton on Friday night and followed by a pair of incidents on Saturday afternoon – Robert Murphy on Xavier Ellis at Aurora Stadium plus Beau Waters on Shane O’Bree at the ‘G. Will they all cop weeks from the match review panel today and, if so, what does that mean for the hip-and-shoulder?
While getting smacked in the head is generally accepted as a part of football, the manner in which players celebrate kicking a goal might now be getting a little out of hand. Take young Magpie Dale Thomas for example.
Hiya Big Boy! My oh my…you are VERY happy to see me, aren’t you!!!
Having, to his credit, taken four bounces on the way to kicking an impressive running goal, his celebration turned a little saucy – the kid dropping to his knees and looking directly into the eyes of the Eagles player as he rolled his shoulders and shook a pair of imaginary tassels at him!
Celebrating like a clown is fine…it happens every week and while some don’t like it, no big deal really. But when you drop to your knees, right in front of your opponent and gaze into their eyes whilst shaking your imaginary tits at them…that doesn’t say ‘clown’, that says ‘sex worker’!
Half Back Flanker suggests putting you tits away…the only role that sex workers should play in our great game is to get with Wayne Carey and then wonder why things don’t work out!
Here’s a wrap of all the events of Welcome To The 21st Century Round:
So Chris, first Fremantle and now Melbourne…why does everything you touch turn to shit?
- Wow…St Kilda beat up on the worst team in the comp – so you can’t call them soft now! The Saints do it easy over Melbourne thanks to five goals from their friendly neighbourhood Schneiderman – who would have to be the stumpiest looking superhero in the world! But what about Melbourne…could things get any worse down there?
- This game against Sydney was to be the big test for Richmond, to find out just how good they were. And the answer is…not very good at all! Terry Wallace will now have his side re-sit the big test sometime later in the year…probably the next time they play Essendon or Melbourne!
- No, they couldn’t have…could they? You bet your arse they did! Freo went into three quarter time in front and lost…for the fifth week in a row! Port coach Mark Williams may as well just leave his trusty tie behind at Subiaco for Mark Harvey to wear from now on…
Yeah!!! How F&$@#%g Good Am I!!! Yeah!!! YEAH!!!
- Haven’t Collingwood fired up in the past two weeks! First they dismantled the seemingly unbeatable Geelong and now they’ve smashed the Eagles by 100 points. The Pies never looked like losing but rather than just a mere rout, guys like Alan Didak, Paul Medhurst, Dale Thomas and Leon Davis turned it into into a goal-kicking competition for smartarses! And it’s clear now that Medhurst has got that purple shit out of him!
Brad Johnson receives medical treatment after teammates ‘remind’ him that they would still be unbeaten if he hadn’t missed that goal last week.
- The blockbuster in Launceston was fantastic…for the Bulldogs at least! After being flogged by Hawthorn the last time they met, Rodney Eade certainly did his homework and the Hawks taste defeat for the first time this season. Hawthorn captain Sam Mitchell conceded that the Dogs beat them at their own game…that game being football, of course.
Relax Lions fans…Browny is ok! Besides, if he is injured then Bradshaw would just kick 12 goals per game anyways!
- There’s no stopping the Brown-Bradshaw double act up in Brisbane at the moment! Well, except for that knee injury that Browny picked up…which is not great timing when you are trying to convince your club that giving you a five year deal won’t blow up in their face!
- Geelong gets serious after half time to cruise past Carlton with Steve Johnson nailing snaps at goal and no-look handballs with ridiculous ease…and not celebrating like a dickhead/sex worker in the process. Dale Thomas – take note!