Round 18 – So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye!

Look – the Von Trapp family have reformed! Perhaps the AFL want them to take part in the grand final day entertainment this year…

The final round of the football season used to be the appropriate time for emotional goodbyes and fond (and, occasionally, not-so-fond) farewells. But these days it seems that if you are waiting until round 22 to end your career or attempt to improve the personnel at your football club, then you are just wasting everybody’s time!

We have had it all this week. Old players have given it away so that clubs can give younger guys a taste of senior football while the Tigers decided that it was time for a new football administrator…like, right now! We can also say farewell to the Brendan Fevola contract saga…but relax, you can count on Fev making news for something else. Every…single…day!

Gary Ablett is out again this week…does this mean goodbye to his Brownlow? Andrew Krakouer can say farewell to any hope of an AFL comeback…though it’s not really a laughing matter. And thanks to a stupid New Zealander who actually listened to the stuff that dribbles out of Anthony Mundine’s mouth, we might be saying adieu to the entire salary cap system! That is highly unlikely, of course, but then somebody did take something Mundine said seriously…so anything is possible!

TEAM NEWS

FRIDAY NIGHT

So long, farewell…that holiday to Fiji! Al Clarkson blows five grand on silly umpire spray – that’s a lot of Fiji Bitter

MCG, Melbourne – 7:40pm (local): Collingwood v Hawthorn (SEVEN)

HAWKS by 27: If Hawthorn do get up, will it be ‘so long, farewell…’ to Collingwood’s finals hopes? Personally, we really, really, really hope so…

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

So long, farewell…Melbourne veterans! James McDonald survives for another year…but what about Adem Yze, Russell Robertson and Jeff White?

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Essendon v Melbourne (FOX)

BOMBERS by 8: Melbourne will just fail to get win number three but the biggest positive for them will be getting rid of that shithouse silver jumper…that’s the best decision they’ve made all season!

So long, farewell… goal umpire? Seems the Crows benefitted from a forgetful ump last week!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide – 2:40pm (local): Adelaide v Carlton (TEN)

BLUES by 18: Behind the massive football brain of the Fev and an improved road record, Carlton could find themselves level with the Crows and Pies for a finals spot. Holy crap!

SATURDAY NIGHT

So long, farewell…Kangaroos on the Gold Coast! We are sure it will be…emotional!

Gold Coast Stadium, Gold Coast – 7:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Brisbane (FOX)

ROOS by 18: Unlike Brent Harvey, the Roos top-four chances won’t take a dive this weekend!

So long, farewell…Greg Miller (officially this time!) Caroline Wilson must be thrilled

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Geelong v Richmond (TEN)

CATS by 48: You think Terry Wallace was unhappy with that whole Greg Miller business? Just wait until he sees what Geelong does to Richmond on Saturday night!

SUNDAY

So long, farewell…Adam Goodes? Nobody seems to know if he will play again this season

Manuka Oval, Canberra – 1:10pm (local): Western Bulldogs v Sydney (FOX)

DOGS by 18: A Doggies victory could make things really difficult for Sydney in the final month…and they lack a little entertainment value without the free-wheeling Goodes.

So long, farewell…Warren Tredera! Might need to divert those phone calls while your shoulder heals

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): St Kilda v Port Adelaide (SEVEN)

SAINTS by 38: St Kilda won’t take Port Adelaide lightly…though we are sure they could get away with it because Port have given up anyways!

So long, farewell…Shaun McManus! Now the search is on for the next Freo hate target…there’s plenty of candidates too!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): Fremantle v West Coast (FOX)

DOCKERS by 24: With McManus playing his final game, former coach Damien Drum reckons Fremantle cannot lose? How could anybody be that confident of the Dockers winning anything? This is the losingest club in the whole comp!

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