Round 20 – Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted!

The League are being a little heavy handed about these ground invasions…

Back from a week of thawing out in the far north of the country, Half Back Flanker couldn’t wait to get back into the daily grind of the AFL in footy-mad Melbourne. But while the pasty-white complexion of our skin might have changed (only slightly) during the break, the League’s determination to suck everything that is spontaneous and fun about our game remains the same!

With Lance Franklin and Brendan Fevola within reach of kicking 100 goals for the season, the League have threatened fans with evictions and fines if they attempt the traditional flooding onto the ground to celebrate the milestone. And while some coaches may agree with the League’s disapproval of the practice, including one particular sacked coach who feels it cost him a premiership and elevation into the legend status that currently exists in his own mind (and nowhere else…), the fans are more likely to ignore the warnings and charge onto the field as goal number one hundred sails through the big sticks!

Will Buddy Franklin kick the nine goals required to bring up his century of goals this weekend? And if he does, will security be escorting pesky fans out of the ground and issuing them with fines? Will Kevin Sheedy really be the first person running out into the middle…and will Mike Sheahan be in hot pursuit to whack him over the head with a rolled-up newspaper and shoo him away? All will be revealed during Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted round!

Half Back Flanker actually had the opportunity to participate in a ground invasion way back in 2001 when Matthew Lloyd cracked the ton in the first week of the finals against Richmond. However, despite all the excitement of witnessing such an achievement and the reaction of the crowd, we couldn’t bring ourselves to take that leap over the fence and be a part of it. Probably just as well, we were seated on level two…

FRIDAY NIGHT

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide – 7:40pm (local): Port Adelaide v Collingwood (SEVEN)

PIES by 31: Collingwood are certainties now that Mick Malthouse is milking last week’s mess to fire up his boys again…and they wonder why the media targets them and opposition fans are sick of them!

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Essendon v Adelaide (FOX)

BOMBERS by 6: Well, Adelaide have never beaten Essendon in Melbourne…why start now? Plus, the Bombers will be inspired to do it for Lloydy

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Melbourne v West Coast (TEN)

DEMONS by 18: The media will probably pay more attention to this match than any other this round. Why? Because it smells tanky! We say – wake us up when it’s over…

SATURDAY NIGHT

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:10pm (local): Brisbane v Western Bulldogs (FOX)

DOGS by 9: The Bulldogs must be getting serious if training is any indication…shame the bust-up didn’t involve the out-of-form Jason Akermanis!

Telstra Stadium, Sydney – 7:10pm (local): Sydney v Geelong (TEN)

CATS by 25: The Swans can add as many premiership stars as they like but they will all be saying one word after feeling the might of the Cats…and that word rhymes with ‘a Canuck in the ruck’!

SUNDAY

MCG, Melbourne – 1:10pm (local): Richmond v Hawthorn (FOX)

HAWKS by 48: Terry Wallace says he is ready to face scrutiny on his coaching future at Richmond if they fail to make the finals…just as well because the scrutiny will officially start around 4pm on Sunday!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Carlton v North Melbourne (SEVEN)

ROOS by 14: Dean Laidley will be feeling even more confident about a new contract after his side knocks off Carlton and they find themselves in fourth spot!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): Fremantle v St Kilda (FOX)

DOCKERS by 21: Mark Harvey hopes that the deeds of our Olympic athletes will inspire them to victory…even if it means his players don’t get a lot of sleep. Um, does Harvey know that the Games are in China this year? And that the time difference between Beijing and Fremantle is…absolutely nothing?

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