Somebody Call The Fire Brigade! (Grand Final Week)

THERE’S A CAT STUCK UP A TREE!!!

It wouldn’t be a fair dinkum grand final week without some old fashioned espionage! Yesterday was Paul Chapman Fitness Test Day down at Geelong and, not surprisingly, the media went into 1960’s style Beatlemania mode as they flocked to Skilled Stadium and tried everything they could to crash the closed training session. We love the camera man attempting to film training from up the tree wearing the Cats jumper…because that makes him look completely inconspicuous; just your average footy fan with a big-arse camera and broadcast van. A plain-clothed guy with a massive video camera filming from up a tree? Now that would just look suspicious…

Awwww, look fellas. There’s a die-hard Cats fan with a camera watching training from up a tree! How sweet!!! He must really like us…

Yes, the Channel Nine helicopter did make an appearance…as did aircraft representing every other network. And apparently, the whole entire world was watching Chappy train…but that’s the thing about the Melbourne footy media – the world only spans as far west as Geelong and as far north as Kangaroo Ground! But they, like a few of the players, will need to wait a little longer before finding out the make-up of the Geelong side for the big one. Will we see a major selection surprise? Like that guy in the 53 jumper?

Forget Chappy…that number 53 looks like a real goer. Give him a game!

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Hawthorn didn’t train yesterday so it was left to publicity-shy president Jeff Kennett to create the Hawk-based headlines. Kennett is expecting victory from his side on Saturday afternoon…of course, he famously expected victory on a Saturday afternoon nine years ago. And look how well that turned out for him! Relax Cats fans, you’ve got it in the bag now…

Jeff wants a repeat of the success from 1989…but he might just find himself well beaten like he was in 1999!

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Non-Grand Final news:

Rodney Eade manhandles Scotty West to ensure the reluctant retiree actually goes through with it and doesn’t run out of the room to hide behind a treadmill in the gym!

• It’s all over for Scott West at the Western Bulldogs…not the way he wanted to go out but will be remembered as one of Footscray’s finest!

Would any clubs want a 33 year old with a bung knee? We doubt it…but good luck Westy!

• James Hird wants to make a comeback? Well, the resurrection of Sir James lasted barely a couple of hours before the man himself declared the story a big pile of poop! Who’d have thought that a journo would take a second hand account of conversations between pissed footballers in Las Vegas and then wonder how it all went so wrong?
• Brodie Holland delisted? Damn it…there goes another of our favourite targets for petty vitriol and crappy jokes! Who else can we take the piss out of now?
• Could we see Barry Hall join Jason Akermanis at the Bulldogs? Well, if we are ever going to see a Brent Staker sucker-punch scenario featuring two guys on the same team, this will be it!
• Wow, you think that the Cats have selection issues…the best umpire in the competition this season misses out on a grand final berth!
• Heath Shaw is desperate to remain a Magpie…rest of footy world desperate to have a break from hearing about Shaw, Didak and Collingwood all the bloody time!