Man, You Footy Fans Are Crazy! (2008 AFL Grand Final)

These Hawk fans have gone to a whole lotta trouble…but then it has been 17 years in between grand finals for them!

AFL Grand Final – MCG, 2:30pm (local): Geelong v Hawthorn (SEVEN)

One more sleep, footy freaks! Septocemia has engulfed the self-acknowledged ‘Sporting Capital Of The World’ and with less than twenty-four hours until the bounce, the excitement for Cats and Hawks fans must be tough to contain.  To call September in Melbourne a “silly season” is an understatement of gigantic proportions…the place is more than silly right now; it’s completely freakin’ mental!

Silly season? What silly season? You find freaks like this every weekend in Melbourne!

If you needed any further proof, the place to be today was at the grand final parade!

Which bloke will be lucky enough to get that free hand on the trophy as well?

Of course, these two teams played out one of the best ever grand finals in 1989 and now Victoria has gone into some kind of late-80’s time warp! Plenty of reminiscing is going on…and don’t some of the old-timers love it! Since the Hawks held on to claim the flag in ’89, these two sides have also maintained a decent history of closely contested games – let’s hope this continues tomorrow. After all the whinging from the local media over the years about those pesky interstaters crashing the grand final party since the year 2000…it would really suck for them if we have another blowout!

Did Buddy try to disguise himself as a motorcycle traffic cop to avoid attention at the grand final parade?

So, the time for talk is over and the game is almost here! No matter which part of the world you find yourself tomorrow, there are ways to keep track of the events at the MCG, so there are no excuses to miss a second of what shapes up to be a gripping finale to the football season. If you are taking advantage of the occasion to crank up the barbie for the first time since last April, go check the gas bottle…right now! And if you have a ticket for the game, you are one lucky son-of-a-gun…or you must have connections!

And, for what it’s worth, our tip is back-to-back flags for Geelong…CATS by 27. Norm Smith Medal…lil’ Ablett!

Now grand final day is always a special occasion – exciting, dramatic, sweaty and bloody long! But when does all the interesting stuff happen? Well, Half Back Flanker has put together a complete run-down of the events on grand final day so that you can skip the crap that you don’t like but don’t miss any of the action!

THE 2008 AFL GRAND FINAL DAY TIMETABLE

9:00am: AFL Under-16 Championships Division Two Grand Final – Tasmania v Northern Territory. Winners each receive their first keg, courtesy of major sponsor Carlton Draught.

10:55am: AFL Under-16 Championships Division One Grand Final – Western Australia v Vic Metro. Winners each receive $10,000 from player agent Ricky Nixon and his business card. No obligations though…

12:55pm: Carlton Draught sky troopers parachute into arena.

Look out below…beer incoming!!!

12:58pm: Arena cleared of drunk bogans who jump the fence in an attempt to catch “all the giant beers falling from the sky!”

1:10pm: Delivery of match balls, beamed down from Lance Franklin’s alien spacecraft.

1:15pm: AFL Grand Final teams warm up in AFL-approved velour tracksuits.

1:35pm: Pre-match entertainment starts.

1:36pm: Pre-match entertainment cancelled due to lack of entertainment value.

1:41pm: Cavalcade of retiring players, 2008 Hall of Fame inductees, Olympians, Paralympians and the Terang Mortlake Bloods, Hampden Football League premiers, after a full week of non-stop drinking. The cavalcade will drive very, very slowly

The crowd will love Powderfinger…which makes you wonder how they found themselves on the bill! Perhaps the AFL were desperate when the Seekers pulled out at the last minute…

1:49pm: Performance by Australian Rock act Powderfinger.

1:50pm: Powderfinger performance cancelled after noise complaints from some of the AFL commissioners.

1:52pm: A 20-minute flag waving display from the Holden Precision Goal Umpires Team.

Some flag-waving fun…what a treat!

2:12pm: Delivery of 2008 Cup from ambassador Glen Archer to AFL chairman Mike Fitzpatrick. AFL chairman left to tip all the cold beer out of the cup.

2:15pm: Umpires enter arena under full police protection.

2:16pm: Teams enter arena.

2:17pm: Cyril Rioli exits the arena for a nervous wee.

2:27pm: Advance Australia Fair performed by Rocky Horror Picture Show star Derryn Hinch.

Think you’ve heard some dodgy renditions over the years? Well, just wait until you hear this!

2:28pm: Coin toss.

2:29pm: Another coin toss after Tom Harley successfully appeals for a ‘best-of-three’.

2:30pm: The 2008 AFL Grand Final.

3:40pm: Half Time AFL Grand Final Sprint; featuring the only eight AFL players who are currently sober.

5:15pm: Presentation of Norm Smith Medal for the best player, probably to Steve Johnson of Geelong. Presentation of premiership medallions, probably to Geelong. Presentation of Jock McHale medal to premiership winning coach, probably to Mark Thompson of Geelong. Presentation of premiership cup, probably to Tom Harley of Geelong.

9:30pm: A semi-conscious, half-naked Billy Brownless dragged off arena by seven burly security guards after going too hard too early with the post-match celebrations.

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One response to “Man, You Footy Fans Are Crazy! (2008 AFL Grand Final)

  1. I’m seriously hoping they get Delta to sing. I love that bitch. I’m so0o0o0o0o excited!! Go Cats!!

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