Monthly Archives: December 2008

Early Christmas Present For Richmond! (Six Months Of Silliness)


After weeks of dodgy Herald Sun Photoshop images of his head on top of a Tigers jumper, look…it’s the real Ben Cousins in Richmond colours!

Half Back Flanker has been enjoying this off-season by taking a two month blogging break – this is in accordance with the guidelines set by the AFL Players Association. And we don’t want to make AFLPA big-wig Benny Gale upset by coming back too early…he gets a little shirty when you do!

But while the players were resting up/pissing on before pre-season training, the news cycle for all things AFL just never stops! The National Draft came and went and by now, we have  all probably seen our young draftees parading around in the club colours, sponsorship logos in full view. Some of these pimply teenagers will go on to be the next stars of the competition but some fans have more realistic expectations

After years of threatening to return to Punt Road, which always coincided with the final year of his coaching contracts at Essendon, Kevin Sheedy finally returned to Richmond…pleasing the Herald Sun no end as they followed up with the predictable “Terry-Wallace-better-watch-out” bullshit piece and the equally predictable “Sheeds-says-don’t-worry-Terry” response.

The International Rules happened…um, yep. Next…

The League announced that the 2009 pre-season competition will be run over six weeks instead of the usual four weeks…so now something that is already longer than necessary has an extra two weeks tacked on to the beginning. Awesome! Not so awesome for South Africa though – their NAB Cup clash has been deferred due to the world economy going to hell. The people of Cape Town will be shattered! But you watch…the global economic crisis won’t prevent the League’s heavyweights making that all-expenses paid junket to Ireland next October!

But this off-season was all about one man, his urine and his grumpy manager! After being overlooked in the National Draft, Ben Cousins finally found a home with Richmond and Punt Road has gone completely mental with Cuz Fever! The press conference following his first training session was essential viewing and Cousins himself handled the occasion pretty well, though it did allow the ever-prickly Ricky Nixon to tee off on any reporter who dared to ask Ben non-football questions – like anybody would be interested



Bu now the Cousins circus has pitched their tent at Punt Road, anticipation for the 2009 season has become even greater. Here’s hoping that you get your football-based Christmas wish, just like the Richmond cheer squad! Our simple wish was for this article signalling that we would see and hear less of Jason Akermanis to be true…but we just don’t believe it could ever happen! That guy will find a way…

Check back around February as we keep track of all the craziness that is AFL footy;¬† like which of your players is “training the house down” as they have “their best pre-season ever” and become “the fittest they have ever been”? Or who looks hottest without a shirt at preseason training (check the newspapers for all the glossy pictures)! And which European tennis sensation will be cornered by a publicity-hungry club during the Australian Open and forced to pose with a star-struck player as they hold up a footy jumper – with no idea of the sport, the player or (in the example below) how embarrassed she would be if she realised how much the team sucked right now!