NAP Time Is Over…Can We Get Serious Now? (2009 NAP Cup)

guitar-hero-world-tour

Sorry, missed most of the preseason competition…was kinda busy!

Ok, NOW footy season is here again! No more glorified practice matches or experimental rules…the real stuff is a mere eleven days away! Sure – the NAP Cup; the four-week preseason comp that, for whatever reason, takes seven weeks to play; has been run and won by…not Collingwood! But not even the sadistic prospect of witnessing those wretched Magpies lose another grand final was incentive enough to check out the game. Well, there was also those tickets for the Kings of Leon last Friday night

cat-nap

Geelong players celebrate the fact they survived the preseason without sustaining a major injury. Well, not all of them

For all of its positives – and, to be fair, there are plenty of benefits from a well organised, televised preseason comp for players, clubs, media and (most importantly) the League’s coffers – it’s just not the same as having two teams slog it out in the depths of winter for four competition points.  It’s not like I deliberately avoided the NAP Cup – in fact, was more than happy to go along to the Essendon-Western Bulldogs Bushfire Appeal match and eat meat pies for charity.

But the game itself did not inspire and after trying to sit through a god-awful second-up win by the Bombers over Brisbane, footy just fell off the radar. Didn’t  feel quite ready for footy season – for one, it was still bloody summer and secondly, I’d only just picked up my copy of Guitar Hero World Tour

But it wasn’t just the actual games of footy that I wasn’t quite prepared for…the intensity of the footy media, even in early February, proved a bit much as well. I know we should all be used to it by now, particularly here in Melbourne, but that Carlton intra-club stouch probably received more coverage than many other vital stories of worldly proportions – like the world economic crisis or Paris Hilton buying some stuff on Chapel Street.

Setanta had barely removed the point of his boot from the rectal area of Cameron Cloke and all these opposing media outlets went into hyper-overdrive as they all attempted to out-apeshit each other on the story.

setanta

Q) What do you call the area between the dick and the arsehole?

A) Setanta O’hAilpin!

Actually, that particular area is called the perineum…and the Match Review Panel handed down a four-match penalty for the mad Irishman’s unprecedented Cloke attack. The Nick Maxwell debacle might leave us uncertain about protection of the head but at least we know for sure that in AFL footy, the perineum is sacrosanct! But, no – Setanta was not sacked and/or deported back to the Emerald Isle. And yes – you did grossly over-react…all of you!

That, combined with the shocking events taking place here in Victoria during February, kinda put me off getting too wrapped up in the goings-on in the AFL – be they of some consequence in the footy world or have no relevance whatsoever. Case in point: “Ben Cousins moves into a house” was a massive news story in the Herald Sun? Yes, a complete joke but then again, yesterday’s front page was dedicated to naked photos of Pauline Hanson…and I know which ‘story’ I ‘d prefer to read whilst attempting to eat breakfast on a Sunday morning!

But now season 2009 is here and the next time we see two blokes in opposing jumpers fight over a footy, it will truly be worth something. Time to get excited. Time to check out how the sixteen clubs are positioned heading into round one and make wild, uneducated guesses as to who will improve this year and who will make the big slide. Time to put some thought into the Half Back Flanker fantasy footy teams. So…let’s get started!

Well, maybe after a couple more songs on Guitar Hero

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