Tag Archives: Andrew Lovett

Round Thirteen – An Unlucky Number For Some!


Unlucky number 13? Not for Andrew Lovett…it’s his incredibly f$@#ing lucky number!

It is an unlucky number for some people. In fact, fear of the number 13 is officially recognised as a fair dinkum phobia! It’s called Triskaidekaphobia…and clearly Brendon Fevola suffers from it if Friday night is any indication. Actually, he must have plenty of phobias that have caused him to not give a shit during various games in his career. The poor bloke…


Speaking of lucky numbers, Nick Naitanui makes it great to love the West Coast number 9 again!

Obviously, nobody from Geelong or St Kilda is afflicted with Triskaidekaphobia as both clubs have started the season undefeated with thirteen straight wins. They face each other next week…you might be made aware of it this week. Approximately 458 times! So beware…


Ah, Barry? Are you serious? Are you that bloody stupid? Yep. appears so!

Adelaide’s Ben Rutten was also a little unlucky on Saturday when his number was drawn out at random in the Barry Hall Brain Fade Sweepstakes. First prize was a smack in the head! Hall has done worse during his career; much, much worse; but you can pretty much guarantee that the number of AFL games he has left with the Swans is less than thirteen!


Sure I just broke my leg but…man, this pain whistle is freakin’ awesome! I’m the luckiest man alive!!!

Once the morphine wears off, young Roo Ben Warren will be feeling more than a touch unlucky. Jade Rawlings will now be feeling a little bit unlucky…that his side doesn’t play the West Coast Eagles in Melbourne every week. But the unluckiest people from last week…Michael Jackson fans who had bought tickets for his comeback tour! And don’t forget the Farrah Fawcett fans too…

The Games:


Hey, none of this is my fault! If you pricks just kicked the ball exactly where I want it every single time, I can just kick goals and be a legend. So wake up to yourselves boys!!!

Look out, Carlton is coming…undone! Essendon destroyed the Blues by 69 points in front of a massive crowd at the ‘G on a night where the Bombers could do no wrong. Even their bad news was relatively good. The loss caused major embarrassment for the favoured Blues and the coach might be getting a little fed up with his flakey, disinterested, sook-arse full forward. Would they dare drop him? Yeah, right!


Well, you guys try telling Barry that he’s being a dickhead…I’m not gunna do it! Do you think I’m crazy?!

Barry Hall and Sydney hit Adelaide with everything they had but the Crows fought back late to win a vital game that could just about sink the Swans for 2009. With the freakish Brett Burton due back shortly, the Crows appear finals bound…and no team would want to visit the city of Adelaide in September!


Heath Shaw shows that it’s much better to fly than to lie!

See what happens when the dickhead element at a footy club is reigned in? Pay attention Carlton and Sydney! Swan, Didak and Shaw come up big as the Pies bulldoze Fremantle in the second half and stick it to all those nasty, nasty critics. The Dockers also lost Matthew Pavlich to injury and are fast running out of excuses. Nah, Mark Harvey will come up with a few more yet…


Unhappy? Vossy looks fairly happy to me…but then he has always been pretty pleased with himself!

Melbourne may have picked first in the 2008 draft but Brisbane may have been the biggest winner by selecting Daniel Rich. The Lions were also easy winners on Saturday night as the Demons continue to stink up the competition. But fear not, loyal Dees fans – Gary Lyon will come back soon and fix everything…as if he would leave his cushy media gigs to coach that lot!


Charming! But she was right…LeCras missed the shot so it was only worth one finger.

Hawthorn’s attempt to defend their 2008 premiership was already looking shaky….and it just got a whole lot worse! Nic Naitanui, the Fijian-born rookie who did stuff-all for three quarters, sparked the West Coast Eagles with three final quarter goals for a famous win that leaves the Hawks in all sorts of bother. Once John Worsfold figures out what to make of the kid, he should be a beauty!


Yes, Mrs Murdoch, I am wearing Bonds! They’re very comfy undies!

Geelong warm up for the St Kilda game with a cruisey win over Port Adelaide and continue to put together an amazing sequence of sustained awesomeness. Mark Thompson has now extended his contract for another couple of seasons…wonder how many milliseconds he took to mull over that one? Mark Williams, on the other hand, must be pissed that his contract situation is blowing up in the midst of his team’s sucky streak. That’s probably why he has gone into Terry Wallace salesman mode in order to save his own arse…



It was a hard slog, and the coach thought they were a little bit sleepy, but the Westen Bulldogs stayed in the box seat for a top four spot with a win over the Crockeroos. The new North Melbourne coach was pleased with the direction his team was taking and one rookie in particular. Well, he didn’t break his leg so that gives him an edge over their other first year players!


Sorry Max, it’s too late to take you to the hospital…we have to deliver this baby right here, right now!

If you’d have said that one team would fail to kick a goal in the first quarter of the St Kild-Richmond game, it would have to be Richmond, right? Wrong! The Saints were down two goals to zip at quarter time! Of course, they responded by keeping the Tigers away from goal for about 90 minutes or so and kept their unbeaten reord intact for another week. Now they play Geelong and coach Ross Lyon is getting excited…if he is, it might just be for the first time in his life!


All Quiet On The Trading Front (The Lost Weekend)

Ryan O’Keefe looks good in navy blue but is still a Swan…well, for now anyway!

Not much to write home about as a result of AFL trade week…though it was always going to be an extremely difficult year to pull off any substantial deals. With the Gold Coast Sluggos claiming a large number of draft picks next year and talk of a seriously talented group of kids coming out this year, it would have taken an extraordinary deal for a first-round draft pick to be exchanged. And sorry, but none of these Kangas can be filed under ‘extraordinary’!

So, exactly how many deals were done in this year’s trade week? Six! Ryan O’Keefe didn’t get to Hawthorn and now might be stuck in the middle of a ‘who’s dick is bigger’ tug o’ war between Essendon and Carlton. Andrew Lovett couldn’t find a way to get to Geelong so has a big preseason ahead of him back at Windy Hill. And Brad Green stays with Melbourne even though he reckons we was never leaving anyway…that might be a tad more believable if it was said, say, last Tuesday rather than after the trade deadline!

Yep, that was worth five whole days of carry-on

Ahhh, so that is what Robbie Warnock looks like…

Is It Over Yet? (AFL Trade Week)

Robbie Warnock is hoping that Freo and Carlton can shake hands on a deal this afternoon. Pffft! Yeah right…

Maybe today we will see some action! The AFL trade week winds up this afternoon at 2pm and after a week of prognostication, stalled negotiations and token mediation, a small number of uncontracted or unhappy or just plain unlucky players might have a new footballing home. Or they might not…

This traditional all-talk, little-to-no-action period has played out as expected. Many possibilities arise after all the clubs get together on Monday; including the obligatory name that nobody expected to be available…and that’s because he was never really available anyway but it will sure motivate the guy over preseason. Then it is three days of waiting, waiting, waiting…with a media throng bigger than you see at most post-match conferences waiting breathlessly for something, anything to happen.

But with next season’s AFL draft compromised in order to funnel promising young kids to the Gold Coast, all club want to hold onto their picks, especially the first-rounders…so we might have even less player movement than usual. Look out – here comes free agency!

Port Adelaide have provided the only real shock of trade week so far…they actually finalised a deal yesterday. That’s Thursday – a full day before the deadline. Talk about breaking ranks…they must have put their clocks forward one full day instead of one hour for daylight savings last weekend!

The time is right in Adelaide…but what day is it again?

Which leads us to today…and a few hours of frantic bargaining followed by a myriad of complaints from player managers that the whole trade scenario needs an overhaul – preferably to a system that allows them to score more commission money by closing more deals and with less stress. Oh, the poor things…

So, will Fremantle cave in to Carlton’s underwhelming demands for ruckman Robert Warnock? Is the kid really that good to warrant all this attention in the first place? And if we didn’t hear the funny story about Melbourne attempting to get him to join the Dees via the power of the Powerpoint back in August, would we even know the kid’s name?

And what about Ryan O’Keefe? Will the defending premier really be able to make room for the All Australian calibre forward to join Buddy, Roughy and Cyril? Or will he head to Carlton…or the preseason draft? Will the Swans get anybody in return? If they do, it won’t be Andrew Lovett and it won’t be Brad Green. Will Farren Ray escape from the Dog’s kennel? Will anybody be brave enough to go to Adelaide?

Guess we will have to wait until approximately 1:59pm today to find out…

Look Out Folks…It’s Trade Week! (Six Months Of Silliness)

The Crows broke out their best sandwich board for B&F night…

Well, season 2008 is done! All the goofy Mad Monday costumes have been packed away for another year and the last Sherrin has been booted in anger…at least until pre-season training kicks off. And that is only a matter of weeks away for the bottom eight clubs!

More importantly, all the best-and-fairest winners have been named. Just in case you have been wondering who claimed the big prize at your club, here is the honour roll:

Brett Deledio (right) wins at Richmond while Nathan Brown (left)…um, is absent from the leaderboard. So why is his picture even there?

So, without any footy games to watch (and yes, the International Rules series DOES NOT count!), what do we do for the next six months? Talk footy non-stop, of course! And what better place to start than the maximum-talk, minimum-action of AFL trade week. Will this year be any different? Probably not.

Most interest would have involved the seemingly restless Daniel Kerr but he is now an Eagle for life…like he was going to leave anyways! But the whereabouts of players such as Ryan O’Keefe, Andrew Lovett, Daniel Harris, Mark Seaby and many, many others will be determined this week. Some will be finalised by lunchtime today, others will have to wait until 1:59pm on Friday. Let a full-on week of rumour, heresay and player manager waffling commence…and here’s hoping your team can land a big fish!

Round 22 – Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse!

Well played, Rama. Well played…

The final round is here! The end of the road is in sight for those clubs not quite or nowhere near good enough to play finals football…and they are all merely hours away from going completely nuts!!! But don’t get too wild, fellas – particularly if you have a couple of priors, if you get our drift…

For the eight teams who know they will be going around next week, there is a little bit of interest in the results this weekend…but only if North Melbourne slip up on Saturday afternoon. That would leave fourth spot up for grabs to the remaining teams below them in the eight but the Roos are playing a disinterested Port Adelaide so it’s hard too see that happening.

This weekend is also about saying goodbye to those loyal servants who have battled hard for a decade or more and have little or nothing left to give. But as well as the wily veterans, we also bid farewell to those frustrating players who clearly have talent but deficiencies in other areas (on and/or off field) meaning that their time at your club is almost up. Yes, we could be looking at you Alan Didak; and we might be looking at you too, Andrew Lovett. But, we are definitely looking at you, Jeff Farmer!

So, with those players in mind, we look forward to Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse round!


Perhaps Fremantle will let Mark Johnson wear his old Essendon jumper in his final game tonight!

Subiaco, Perth – 6:40pm (local): Fremantle v Collingwood (SEVEN)

PIES by 41: Whatever players Fremantle do have left, they won’t be good enough to combat The Prestigiacomo Factor!


Shannon Grant will give the game away to pursue other interests…like getting pissed at golf days!

MCG, Melbourne – 1:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Port Adelaide (FOX)

ROOS by 56: Port will only have one player that gives a shit about this game…Dean Brogan! And he can’t win matches on his own…

No wonder Michael Braun retired after last week’s home game…he doesn’t want his final match to be a flogging down at Geelong!

Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 2:10pm (local): Geelong v West Coast (TEN)

CATS by 68: Sounds like that drug problem at the Eagles has flared up again…John Worsfold thinks his side can beat Geelong!!! Huh?

Nathan Bassett says goodbye to Adelaide and hello to insulin!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide– 4:40pm (local): Adelaide v Western Bulldogs (FOX)

CROWS by 18: Wouldn’t it be funny if the Crows let Jason Porplyzia be captain and he dislocated his shoulder at the coin toss! It could happen…


Surely, Spida Everitt will give it away now…he looks like he’s 55 years old!

SCG, Sydney – 7:10pm (local): Sydney v Brisbane (FOX)

LIONS by 19: Brisbane feel that complacency stopped them from making the finals…which probably means they will fire up for a game that doesn’t matter!

Will Shane Crawford retire this year? Expect an announcement soon…probably from a dancing, semi-naked Crawf during the grand final edition of the Footy Show!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Hawthorn v Carlton (TEN)

HAWKS by 25: Now remember kids, you have to run onto the field when Buddy and/or Fev kicks 100 goals…big uncle Tony says it’s ok!!!


Come on Russell, let Adem Yze go!!! He has to leave now

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Melbourne v Richmond (SEVEN)

TIGERS by 14: Richmond are back in their rightful place…ninth place, that is! But if they keep moving on players such as Greg Tivendale, they might do the unthinkable and climb higher next year. 

Why would anyone get rid of Damien Peverill? Look, he’s such a good sport…

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 4:40pm (local): Essendon v St Kilda (FOX)

SAINTS by 21: St Kilda should keep a close eye on how Essenedon farewell their batch of retirees…because they will have to do the same to Robert Harvey very, very soon – probably next weekend!

The Plot Twist We Should Have Seen Coming! (Round 16 – Dress Rehearsal)

How freakin’ good was Drew Petrie!!!

The script was written perfectly. Collingwood look like world beaters against power sides like Geelong and Sydney but always seem to trip up against teams they are supposed to beat. North Melbourne are seen as a battling club but always stand up when they are least expected to…So why on earth would anybody tip the Pies to win this one? With all these factors…why did WE tip them to win???

Sure enough, The Kangaroos kept things close in the first half before making their charge in the third quarter and produced the trademark ‘gritty’ win over the Pies. The victory keeps the Roos in the finals race and gave coach Dean Laidley a great opportunity to use the word ‘super’ a lot! Collingwood, on the other hand, have to deal with yet another sub-par performance in a game they should win. Mick Malthouse sensed it was going to happen…hasn’t quite figured out how to prevent it from happening yet.

They may have screwed up our tips but that picture…makes you smile, doesn’t it!

Here is a look ahead at today’s games for Dress Rehearsal round…chookas everyone!


Can Richmond make the finals this year…or is it all a big dress rehearsal for 2009? Or 2010? 2011?

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Richmond v Essendon (FOX)

Take note Doggies: Port beat Geelong in a dress rehearsal at Skilled Stadium last season – didn’t mean jack-diddly come Grand Final day!

Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 2:10pm (local): Geelong v Western Bulldogs (TEN)


John Worsfold should forget about these dress rehearsals and just cancel the rest of the season already!

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:10pm (local): Brisbane v West Coast (FOX)

No time for dress rehearsals at St Kilda…it’s virtuoso performance or bust!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): St Kilda v Hawthorn (TEN)