Tag Archives: Brent Staker

And To The Surprise Of Absolutely Nobody…(Media Street)

HallRetires

Bazza enquires with Paul Roos as to whether it would be ok to punch a journalist as his final act in Swans colours. Looks like Roosy is giving it some serious thought!

Wow. Barry Hall’s time with the Sydney Swans, and probably AFL footy, is up. Surprised? No, neither am I. It wasn’t like he pretty much forecast it in print late last week or anything

Barry Hall Loses It

If Barry does want to find a new club in 2010, this is probably why it won’t be the West Coast Eagles.

Controversy has pretty much been his middle name during his playing days, although his strength and influence did help catapult the Swans into the AFL elite and a long awaited premiership. But his inability to control his aggression has prematurely ended his time in Sydney.

SwansCup

Oh yeah, that’s right. He’s a premiership captain! Easy to forget sometimes…

So, I wonder what Barry will do now…Duh, we all know that – punch blokes for a living! Business as usual, you might say. Well, this time the other guy will be punching back.

BazzaMitchell

Just when it appeared that he found a way to do dumb things and hit people without getting suspended…

RuttenHall

…that Ben Rutten and his pesky jaw went and ruined everything!!!

Making the decision to step away from footy now is probably for the best. He has time to jump into the boxing ring at least once before he has to decide if he has one more season of footy in him. I think he really needs to fight somebody in the ring, make a shiteload of money in the process, and then decide if that is what he really wants to do with himself.

Barry

Gloves on, arms pumping, no umpires in sight – look how happy he is!

But if he wants another crack at AFL, which club would take such a gamble? All sixteen will be quizzed about Hall ad nauseum from now until the end of the season, probably after every loss. They will all be hoping that Baz just leaves the gloves on and saves them all the trouble!

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Somebody Call The Fire Brigade! (Grand Final Week)

THERE’S A CAT STUCK UP A TREE!!!

It wouldn’t be a fair dinkum grand final week without some old fashioned espionage! Yesterday was Paul Chapman Fitness Test Day down at Geelong and, not surprisingly, the media went into 1960’s style Beatlemania mode as they flocked to Skilled Stadium and tried everything they could to crash the closed training session. We love the camera man attempting to film training from up the tree wearing the Cats jumper…because that makes him look completely inconspicuous; just your average footy fan with a big-arse camera and broadcast van. A plain-clothed guy with a massive video camera filming from up a tree? Now that would just look suspicious…

Awwww, look fellas. There’s a die-hard Cats fan with a camera watching training from up a tree! How sweet!!! He must really like us…

Yes, the Channel Nine helicopter did make an appearance…as did aircraft representing every other network. And apparently, the whole entire world was watching Chappy train…but that’s the thing about the Melbourne footy media – the world only spans as far west as Geelong and as far north as Kangaroo Ground! But they, like a few of the players, will need to wait a little longer before finding out the make-up of the Geelong side for the big one. Will we see a major selection surprise? Like that guy in the 53 jumper?

Forget Chappy…that number 53 looks like a real goer. Give him a game!

Hawthorn didn’t train yesterday so it was left to publicity-shy president Jeff Kennett to create the Hawk-based headlines. Kennett is expecting victory from his side on Saturday afternoon…of course, he famously expected victory on a Saturday afternoon nine years ago. And look how well that turned out for him! Relax Cats fans, you’ve got it in the bag now…

Jeff wants a repeat of the success from 1989…but he might just find himself well beaten like he was in 1999!

Non-Grand Final news:

Rodney Eade manhandles Scotty West to ensure the reluctant retiree actually goes through with it and doesn’t run out of the room to hide behind a treadmill in the gym!

Would any clubs want a 33 year old with a bung knee? We doubt it…but good luck Westy!

Time Off For Daniel Kerr (Round Six – Medals For Everyone!)

Clearly Daniel Kerr does NOT want to play against Chris Judd next week!

What is going on with these Saturday night games? First it was Barry Hall who did something stupid and now it looks like West Coast midfielder Daniel Kerr is in trouble again after an incident with old Dog Scott West at the Telstra Dome last night. Kerr appears to lead with his head and collect West, who was a little worse for wear afterwards…

West was ok after the incident…though his eye was incredibly thirsty!!!

Amazingly, Brent Staker was also reported for striking in his first game back after he was sensationally KO’d by the Hall hit,…do you think that a plea of delayed concussion would work for him at the trubunal?

After the physical stuff died down, the Doggies clicked into gear and steamrolled a struggling West Coast Eagles outfit to remain unbeaten. John Worsfold’s mob have only won one match so far and if Eagles fans are sucking at the moment, just wait until they see this on Friday night…

Chris Judd in the navy blue…

Two more results from yesterday:

Today’s action in Medals For Everyone round:
THE DANIEL BRADSHAW MEDAL GAME
GABBA, Brisbane – 1:10pm (local): Brisbane v Melbourne (FOX)

THE BARRY HALL MEDAL GAME

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Sydney (SEVEN)

THE LANCE FRANKLIN MEDAL GAME

Feel the Love baby…FEEL THE LOVE!

MCG, Melbourne – 4:40pm (local): Hawthorn v Richmond (FOX)

Seven Weeks, No Barry…Can We Move On Now? Please? (Media Street)

Seven weeks alone in a shed full of tools! (Source: Fox Sports – Paul Tresize)

Ok, Barry Hall has been suspended for seven matches and, in true fighting fashion (and absolutely no sense of irony), he’s going to cop it on the chin. Brent Staker’s jaw is not broken and the kid may play this weekend, that’s good news. So perhaps it’s time to move on now. The question is…will we be allowed to?

Certainly today we will have to endure many ‘related’ news pieces; like calls for a send-off rule or asking ex-footballers who loved hitting blokes what they think or how it’s a shame that he didn’t get six matches so his comeback game would be against West Coast in Perth. Hmmm, come to think of it – that is a bit of a shame! But let’s hope the issue is dead and buried for a little while and we can now turn our heads in public without catching sight of the face of Barry Hall …

But what do we talk about now? How about the teams for that upcoming Hall of Fame celebration-match-thingy? The Victorians and the Dream Team each named 40-man squads yesterday and that is prompting the usual selection screw-up banter. From Daniel Cross and Lindsay Gilbee in the east to Roger Hayden in the west, the debate over who should and shouldn’t play is alive and well.

Narrowing those lists of 40 down to the final 25 is not that easy but you should get in there and have a go! Sure beats carrying on about Barry Hall for the next week…

Maybe playing selector isn’t your thing, there is other news about:

Everything You (Apparently) Need To Know About Barry Hall!

Yeah, I know Barry Hall. Lovely fella…wouldn’t say a bad word about him!

It’s been three days since Barry Hall punched some guy on the football field…and has there been enough discussion about the incident? You be the judge…

So has the response to this incident been a little over the top? Some think so – and that article was written on Sunday night…before every family member, expert, and punch victim had their say!

Wouldn’t mind reading about something else? Try these:

Do Not Adjust Your Internet…The Blues Won A Game! (The Lost Weekend)

How the f*@% could we lose to Carlton? Somebody is going to get a Jessica Rowe style ‘boning’ for this!!!

This is not a prank…Carlton did indeed beat Collingwood at the MCG yesterday! With the record for consecutive losses in sight, the Blues shocked the massive crowd by leading pretty much from start to finish to win their first match since round 11 last year. No wonder Eddie McGuire looks like he’s about to blow a head gasket!

Brendan Fevola starred again with seven goals and has now kicked 15 goals in two games since announcing his career-long alcohol ban. Let’s hope he stays off the drink and keeps kicking ass on the field – provided he survived the temptation of a post-victory beer last night…

All up, a dramatic weekend of footy but without a single close finish, the Bite Ya Nails theme was clearly an abject failure – a total flop. On that basis, expect the AFL to adopt it in 2009!

After sending the football world into a right tizzy on Saturday night, Barry Hall held a press conference yesterday afternoon to announce how sorry he was for knocking Brent Staker halfway into next week!

Look, I’m not sure why I did it…the coach reckons it was a brain fade but I think it was just a mind explosion. Either way, I nailed him pretty good. Oh yeah, I’m sorry and stuff.

Hall seems to think the incident was triggered by some type of mind explosion and is ready for whatever punishment he is served by the AFL. That punishment is certain to be an extended stint on the sidelines…unless the tribunal allows Staker’s parents to break his other wrist!

In other results yesterday:

Some footy stories that have nothing to do with Barry Hall belting somebody:

Barry Hall Does Something Stupid…2008 Edition (Round Four – Bite Ya Nails!)

Here ya go, son…bite these nails!!!

Well, Bite Ya Nails round has been a big, fat failure so far with no final minute heroics and every game decided by at least 20 points. At least the Bulldogs and Lions each stormed home in the final term to claim victory but the other results were pretty clear by half time.

But forget all that…what the f%@# is up with Barry Hall? The guy is back in form after a shocking 2007, his side has started the year well and he does this? What’s going on in that big bad bustling Barry brain of his?

The Swans had no trouble disposing of West Coast but the chances of Hall playing in the next few weeks are virtually zippo. Even if a modern day miracle occurred and no sentence is handed down, Bazza would still miss a few weeks after, and this is not a joke, possibly breaking his wrist on a metal railing?

Carefull Bazza…you almost made me spill my beer!

What a bizarre night in Sydney…we literally cannot remember a single thing that happened involving an actual football! What could happen at the footy today to possibly top all that? Carlton winning perhaps?

Just in case you have a Brent Staker sized headache and trouble remembering what happened yesterday, here’s what happened:

Today’s action in Bite Ya Nails round:
THE ‘BUDDY FRANKLIN’ MATCH
Aurora Stadium, Launceston – 1:10pm (local): Hawthorn v Adelaide (FOX)

THE ‘WAYNE HARMES’ MATCH

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Carlton v Collingwood (SEVEN)

  • The Wayne Harmes tap-on is one of the ultimate Bite Ya Nails moments in the history of the game…we know this because they made an ad!

THE ‘BEN HOLLANDS’ MATCH

Richmond clearly didn’t need to keep a match winner…

Subiaco, Perth – 4:10pm (local): Fremantle v Richmond (FOX)