Tag Archives: Brock McLean

When The Game Takes Over Our Drunken Idiot Coverage! (2009 AFL Grand Final Preview)

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drunkfev

We will now briefly focus on a football game before returning you to your regularly scheduled programming…which, apparently, is this guy!

Relax, people! Once Saturday’s game is over, we can go back to the main reason we all follow the game…what stupid Brendan Fevola up to now and what EVERYBODY ELSE thinks about it! Or maybe you’ve had enough of Fev and would prefer to talk about trades – where Shaun Burgoyne thinks he is going or where Brock McLean says he is going.

Perhaps you are stunned that Marty Clarke is choosing to go home or that Matthew Lloyd is choosing to stay home. But for now, the 2009 AFL Grand Final needs to take centre stage so you’ll just have to make do with that…

Not a bad consolation though…the two best teams in the comp are virtually at full strength (sorry Max fans!) and primed to present us with a fitting finale to the footy season. It’s going to be entertaining day and a great spectacle but, please, remember to behave appropriately. You don’t want to end up like Stupid Fevola (that is, a big blokey legend!), do you?

ST KILDA SAINTS

SaintsPlane

The secret to St Kilda’s success? Not catching swine flu from the filthy, germ-infested masses!

The dominant team of 2009 but not a clear favourite… a lack of respect or is this just history talking?

The Team
B:
Jason Blake, Zac Dawson, Steven Baker
HB: Brendon Goddard, Sam Fisher, Sam Gilbert
C: Farren Ray, Lenny Hayes, Nick Dal Santo
HF: Andrew McQualter, Justin Koschitzke, Clint Jones
F: Stephen Milne, Nick Riewoldt, Jason Gram
Foll: Steven King, Leigh Montagna, Adam Schneider
I/C: Luke Ball, Raphael Clarke, Sean Dempster, Michael Gardiner
Emg: David Armitage, Jarryn Geary, James Gwilt

In: Dempster
Out: Robert Eddy

GEELONG CATS

AblettPolice

The secret to Geelong’s success? Police arresting anybody that goes within one metre of Gary Ablett!

The Team
B:
Darren Milburn, Matthew Scarlett, Corey Enright
HB: Tom Harley, Harry Taylor, Andrew Mackie
C: Joel Corey, Cameron Ling, James Kelly
HF: Jimmy Bartel, Cameron Mooney, Steve Johnson
F: Travis Varcoe, Tom Hawkins, Paul Chapman
Foll: Mark Blake, Joel Selwood, Gary Ablett
I/C: Brad Ottens, Shannon Byrnes, Max Rooke, David Wojcinski
Emg: Shane Mumford, Simon Hogan, Mathew Stokes

No change

So…who wins this bloody thing? St Kilda made the one team change but it will not result in a fairytale send-off for stalwart Max Hudghton. Geelong are unchanged but have sterner opposition compared to last week. Hard to predict a winner with any great confidence; hence the call of a draw’ being quite popular.

For me, the deciding factor is simple…and probably a touch immature, but oh well. I just don’t want to see Stephen Milne win a grand final. The thought of that little twerp receiving a premiership medallion and whooping it up would ruin my entire year.

MilneSucks

For the love of God, do not let this twerp win a premiership!

If St Kilda did win and for whatever reason; concussion,  injury, diarrhoea; Milne was not involved at the end, I could live with that. If they could vote him off the podium and replace him with Robert Harvey, even better. But please Geelong..do not let this twerp win!!!

CATS by 22

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Splitting Headaches! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Not another one! Now Brock McLean’s Premium Dream Team campaign is over…when will it end?

Half Back Flanker should be enjoying the week break during this split round; basking in fantasy footy glory. We are assured of victory in the AFL Dream Team competition while we have handy leads in the Herald Sun Super Coach and Premium Dream Team leagues. But instead, there is a dark cloud hanging over us – a bit like Mick Malthouse in every post-match press conference…win, lose or draw, there’s always something to complain about!

It started on Friay night when ‘technical difficulties’ wouldn’t allow us to trade out an injured Chris Judd from our Premium Dream Team in the final hour, forcing us to take one less player into battle this round! And now we have concerns around the injury status of a few top players which could influence team selection for the next round and beyond. Andrew McLeod, Chad Cornes, Richo, Brock McLean, Judd…big names with big problems!

But nothing can be done until after the last game of the round on Saturday night…so with two matches to go in the split round, here is the situation for each of our fantasy footy squads:

Premium Dream Team: 6th placed Half Back Flanker v 4th placed CARLTON BLUES…leading 1,408 to 1,014. Handy lead but opponent has one extra player plus his captain to come this weekend.

Good: Brad Green’s sensational game on Sunday ended up with a massive 145 points! While many media commentators were critical of the high possession-low impact game of Matt Priddis (135) on Friday night, we just loved it! We also loved 248 points for our captain Dean Cox! Three more hundreds (Bruce, Hargrave and the recalled Dean Solomon) plus a pair of 90’s from Birchall and McMahon has set up a big chance of winning.

Bad: Two key players having lowered output due to injury. At least Matthew Richardson (48 ) has a week off to recover from his hamstring complaint but for Brock McLean (48 ), season 2008 is over!

Ugly: The language being released into the air when our late attempt to  trade a still-groggy Chris Judd out for North’s Daniel Harris was thwarted by an inability to log in!!! And if Harris is gone by the time we log in to trade McLean next week, the language could get even worse!

Final Verdict? Even with a no-score from Judd, we still have seven players to go this weekend; including Barry Hall, Alan Didak and Andrew Mackie. Our opponents have eight (including six Crows!) but will have no-scores from Salopek and McPharlin. Scott Thompson will need a massive game as their captain for them to have any hope of catching us…WIN! MAYBE…

Don’t listen to the critics, Matt Priddis – you keep handballing up a storm!

Super Coach: 8th placed Half Back Flanker v 16th placed Lebanese Gods….leading 1,694 to 1,265.

Good: Eight players over 100 points, including a pair of 140 scores from Jonathan Brown and Nick Stevens and 120’s from Brad Johnson and Dean Cox. Daniel Bradshaw (101) also delivered on his return from injury.

Bad: David Myers (37) is the only low scorer thus far and is only in the starting 22 due to the absence of Chad Cornes. Whether he stays there next week will depend on the status of Cornes or a decent game this week from Collingwood’s Nathan Brown, our other bench defender.

Ugly: Our reaction if Gary Ablett has another monster game this Friday night…yet again, he is the captain for the opposition and has made us pay in recent weeks!

Final Verdict? Even if Ablett goes off for a 200-plus game (which becomes 400-plus with double points) that brings the scores level, the opposition only have six remaining players to come and one of those (Matthew Scarlett) may not be ready to return either. We have seven players to go including Alan Didak, Steve Johnson, Heath Shaw, Darren Milburn and Joel Corey. WIN! UNLESS GARY ABLETT PRODUCES A MIRACLE…

No – he couldn’t do it to us again! Could he?

Dream Team: 2nd placed Half Back Flanker v 16th placed Me And You Kick Ass….leading 2,169 to 667. A win was always on the cards but we have racked up our biggest score of the year so far with two players yet to come!

Good: Try eleven players with 100-plus games! That includes Deledio (132), Kane Cornes (131), Nick Riewoldt (128), Dean Cox (124), Nick Stevens (121) and a 112 game from Bryce Gibbs. Double points for captain Pavlich saw his score rise to 206…but he was outscored by eight players!

Bad: Very little has gone wrong this week with David Myers the only player to score less than 50 points so far. We have got away with carrying injured stars Andrew McLeod and Chad Cornes this time…but will they return to the field after the break?

Ugly: Well, we almost dropped Kane Cornes for Trent Cotchin when we heard that the Power midfielder was staying home foe the birth of his child. But as Cotchin was our only fit emergency in the midfield, we didn’t bother…that would have been ugly if we benched a 131 game effort!

Final Verdict? Massive win will greatly boost our percentage in preparation for a 1st verses 2nd showdown in round 15. WIN!

Kane had a great week but will Chad be back next week…or at all?

Another Friday Night Snoozer (Round 14 – Welcome To Splitsville)

Clarko tries to fire up his boys but it’s clear that they are all on holiday and nobody is listening to him…Crawf is just sleeping with his eyes open!

Well, we haven’t had much luck with Friday Night Football the past two weeks. Last Friday was the St Kilda-Fremantle stinkfest and last night’s Hawthorn-West Coast game was not much better. It was clear that most of the players were just counting down the minutes until their mid-season break kicked in…it was played with the intensity of a Melbourne office worker the day before they head off for three weeks holiday in Queensland!The footballing equivalent of cleaning your desk a dozen times and shuffling pens until five o’clock!

The Hawks just went through the motions, relying on the occasional efforts of Buddy Franklin and Jarryd Roughead to ensure a comfortable win. Alastair Clarkson will have been pleased to get to the break with just two losses though he can’t seem to keep his players from hurting themselves.

John Worsfold, on the other hand, seemed pleased with the effort of his players to lose a shit-boring game by ten goals! That is not the Worsfold we all know and loathe…

SATURDAY

Brendan Fevola is hoping to finalise his new contract with Carlton during the split round…then he might be able to afford some dental work!

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Richmond v Carlton (FOX)

Nick Riewoldt will stay on the Gold Coast during his break…just getting a feel for his new footballing home in 2011!

Gold Coast Stadium, Gold Coast – 7:10pm (local): North Melbourne v St Kilda (TEN)

Port Adelaide players love frolicking at the beach during the split round break…they build sand castles and Warren Tredrea dresses up like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch and pretends to rescue his teammates. What fun!

TIO Stadium, Darwin – 7:10pm (local): Western Bulldogs v Port Adelaide (FOX)

SUNDAY

Brock McLean will be threatening to crush young school children with his massive arms unless they sign up as members during the break. The kids are not impressed…

MCG, Melbourne – 1:10pm (local): Melbourne v Brisbane (FOX)

It seems those orange boots are a massive hit with the ladies! Kyle Reimers will spend his break picking up many famous single women…he has even recruited Jay Nash to help keep up with demand!!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): Fremantle v Essendon (FOX)

Don’t Bet On It (Media Street)

Asking Tough QuestionsMoore Grab

Roos is under fire but…maybe the League should ask Richmond about lying down!

Sydney Swans coach Paul Roos; who, incidentally, is one of sixteen AFL coaches who do not take a ‘win-at-all-costs’ attitude into the NAP Cup; is heading down to Melbourne today to fight a match-fixing charge. The League has decided that it needs to make an example of the Swans coach to protect the integrity of gambling dividends the preseason competition while Roos wants to end gambling on practice matches in order to prevent this situation from occurring.

Roosy feels the charge is a slight on his character but nobody outside of AFL House actually takes this accusation seriously anyway. If Sydney were that determined to lose, what the heck were they doing within two points of the lead in the fourth quarter?  And the call to end betting on NAP Cup games – well, we all know that’s just not happening!

If anything, the League should investigate Richmond for their shit-house effort (with almost a full-strength side, mind you) against a half-baked St Kilda in the first round of the NAP Cup. And with pick one in the preseason draft on the line in Round 22 last year, there was no way they were winning that one either.

Unfortunately, Andrew Demetriou has stated that there is no strict time-frame for this investigation, meaning this tripe could stretch on for a while…

In non match-fixing news: