Tag Archives: chicken sex video

Round Three – Should Have Laid Off The Choccy Eggs!


Heath Shaw – seems like a touch…a touch too much!

Talk about having a crappy Easter break! Collingwood’s Heath Shaw would have been feeling sick to his stomach all weekend without the aid of a single chocolate egg (or many of them in succession, like the rest of us!) after his report for touching an umpire last Thursday night. Unfortunate because it was actually Alan Didak who touched the umpire, Shaw was just covering up for him…again!


Now this is the best way to touch an umpire…gently, respectfully and with a smile!

The matter has been sent straight to the tribunal so it will be a pretty big night there…particularly if there are a few players who elect to contest charges stemming from round three. But while some people in footy might have had a crappy Easter weekend; Heath Shaw, John Worsfold and Terry Wallace immediately spring to mind; it pales into insignificance compared to the anguish that the family and friends of ex-Hawk and footy documentary whiz Rob Dickson must be feeling. How sad…knocks the stuffing out of you, doesn’t it!

The Games:


Busted nose for Steve Johnson…guess he won’t be able to rely on his looks anymore!

Geelong continue on their merry way as they steamroll Collingwood…causing the normally-obtuse Mick Malthouse to deal in the bleeding obvious. The Pies were made to pay for numerous acts of inaccuracy…which makes you wonder whether Heath Shaw meant to grab the ump’s arm or was actually trying to grab him elsewhere and just plain missed! Bloody skill errors…


Be it celebrating with teammates or wrestling with opponents, Kossie just can’t stop whacking blokes in the head!

St Kilda could hardly have been more impressive during the opening three rounds, and Nick Riewoldt has yet to really get going. So maybe this is (finally) the year of the Saint? The Eagles looked very average and you can just imagine John Worsfold being so pissed that he would have confiscated every Easter egg from his players on the long flight home to Perth!


Two weeks ago, Essendon were a crap team and everybody at Windy Hill hated Hayden Skipworth…seems neither of those things are correct.

Carlton’s rise to premiership glory stalls after the Bombers win a classic in front of seventy thousand at the ‘G. If only Fev wasn’t injured, and if only Matthew Lloyd was really finished as a footballer (like he was last year), the result could have been so different. But…it wasn’t! And a big thanks to the bogan footy family who interrupted a quiet Saturday night dinner at the local Chinese restaurant in Warrnambool with random screams of “Go Bombers”. Made my night!

The Sydney Swans were meant to be Brisbane’s bogey side…sure didn’t look like it! The Lions knock off Sydney at home and it seems like the message of Voss is getting through…though if they are really setting themselves for a return to the big time, beating Collingwood at home is a must. And a Friday night as well…rare territory for Brisbane.


Doesn’t look like Dean Bailey is loving life as Melbourne coach but…



First we had Lloydy, now Warren Tredrea rises from the Useless AFL Player grave to kick six goals as Port bounce back after a poor showing in Perth last week. But come on – they were playing the Demons at home…as if they weren’t going to romp it in! The only problem they were going to have was with discipline…and yes, they struggled in that area again. The coach will be delighted. No, seriously – he will think it’s unreal! He loves tough guys…

The premiership hangover theory can be discarded too as Hawthorn put injury woes and tragedy aside to win easily over North Melbourne. It ended a miserable week for the Roos, Dean Laidley referring to the scrutiny around the chicken sex video as akin to World War III.  Well, without the global significance, the devastation and the mass killings of soldiers and innocent people, of course! Apart from that, yeah – just like a war…

The Crows did manage to handle their week of scrutiny a little better than the Roos, fighting their way to a good road win against the Dockers. Three rounds in and how many wins do Fremantle have? None! Luckily, coach Mark Harvey has a supporter in the coach that just knocked off his team. Grant Thomas is definitely not a supporter…but that probably works in Harvey’s favour!


Will the Tigers find inspiration from Richo snorting his glove through his nose and out his mouth? Well, anything is worth a shot for Richmond…

The Western Bulldogs, a top-four team in good form, had a good win yesterday over Richmond, not a top-four team and not in good form. So the outrage and hysteria about the Tigers seems a little over the top and, dare we say it, contrived by media types who need content for the week. But if Terry Wallace is feeling heat now, imagine what he will cop if they fall to the winless Demons this Sunday!


Sorry, Don’t Feel Like Chicken Tonight! (Media Street)


Shooting commences on the new movie Australia – The Sequel, starring Hugh Jackman (left) and a frozen Nicole Kidman (right)

What the f@#$ is going on this week? First we have Nathan Bock being suspended indefinitely by the Adelaide Crows after a drunken night gone horribly wrong. We also had a Crows fan banned from attending the footy for the rest of the season after throwing a bottle at the umpires last Friday night…but hitting a small child instead. And who could forget that incident after the Collingwood-Melbourne game where the father of Demons midfielder Nathan Jones was bashed by Magpies fans…resulting in a court appearance for the accused attacker!

Bizarre sequence of events, right? Could not possibly get any stranger that that, could it?

Oh, shit yes it could! Try this on for size…a video written, devised and produced by North Melbourne players involving the sexual exploits of a rubber chicken named Boris found its way onto the internet. It didn’t stay there long. And the League is plenty pissed off!

The video, which has been tastefully referred to in some areas as the ‘Sex Chook’ video, was the talk of the footy world yesterday – mainly about the content’s degrading attitude towards women, or debating whether the video was just some harmless fun between some not-very-smart footballers. Obviously the media-savvy powerbrokers at Arden Street knew the serious nature of Boris and his lurid escapades…they wheeled out every player they could find to stand around looking sorry for this public apology!

Hard to say what the more disturbing aspect of this video is – why the video would even have been made or my complete lack of surprise that a group of footy players with a little spare time would make something like this. Worst of all, this scandal forced me to attempt something I haven’t done for many years…try to watch The Footy Show in order to learn more about the story. All it did was quickly remind me why I don’t ever watch it. It started a little after 8:30pm…I lasted until 8:38pm. It’s all I could take…


It took about five minutes for a reminder of why I gave up watching The Footy Show a few years ago…won’t make that mistake again!

Apparently, two senior players appeared on the show to take some level of responsibility for the video and it seems that they and some others will be a bit lighter in the pocket by the end of the day. But, as much as the Roos will now want to be all about ‘moving forward’ and ‘focusing on playing this weekend’, I suspect that the League hasn’t quite finished with them…