Tag Archives: David Schwarz

The Best Case Scenario! (Septocemia – 2009 AFL Finals Series)

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GoldenCat

Imitation is usually the best form of flattery…but not down at the Cattery!

So much for that whole ‘excruciating pressure‘ theory! Septocemia 2009 will have the best possible finale as the two best teams in the competition will face off in the AFL Grand Final. Sure, we love a Cinderella story…but if it happened to involve Collingwood, that sure is one ugly Cinderella!

Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about that.  St Kilda squeaked past the Bulldogs on Friday night but Geelong roared its way in by making an absolute mess of Collingwood to qualify for a third straight premiership decider. The Cats produced close to their best football on the big stage with their star players stepping up when it mattered most.

The Pies can talk about the experience being good for their group but this club has played finals in each of the past four years, with at least two finals in the last three Septembers. How much more experience do they want before they show some true substance?

DavisMalthouse

Look – photographic evidence that All-Australian Leon Davis actually got a touch in a finals game! Cue the Bronx cheers from Magpie fans…

Whether the intent of Mick Malthouse’s widely-discussed ‘pressure’ article was overblown is up for debate. But after this trouncing on preliminary final night, one thing is certain – few coaches will be under more pressure next season than Malthouse. Season 2010 will be his eleventh year in change and second last chance to ever win a premiership with Collingwood.

And he has to do it with a shattered group of players, including some alleged high quality guys who inexplicably disappear once the ‘August’ page flips over to the back of the calendar. And did we mention that his successor will be sitting in the office next door?

HulkHoward

Channel Ten gave us Hulk Hogan. Channel Seven gave us David Schwartz wearing tights. Advantage Ten!

While last night’s match lacked any drama or intensity after the main break, I won’t complain. The very thought of the Magpies winning a premiership freaks me right out so Geelong’s dominance after halftime was fantastic view ing for me and capped a dismal day for Collingwood, who were also flogged in the VFL prelim during the afternoon.

And it just gets better Magpie fans…because we can all sit back and relive Collingwood’s back-to-back grand final defeats to the Brisbane Lions on Channel Ten’s One HD! What a great way to get Grand Final week kick-started!!!

They Didn’t Go Marching In But The Saints Are There!(Septocemia – 2009 AFL Finals Series)

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RiewoldtGoal

Saint Nick’s knee holds up long enough for him to do this…

How about that! In a finals series that has already delivered high drama and some classic finishes, we got another oneThe Saints are in the grand final…but they were this freakin’ close to a shock exit. And if it wasn’t for inspirational skipper Nick Riewoldt, they wouldn’t have made it. It really is that simple. That dodgy knee of his is more valuable than gold right now!

You just knew it was going to end in heartbreak for one of these traditionally down-trodden clubs…but recovering from this will be a massive challenge for Rodney Eade’s men. That loss was so harsh that I can’t even find a way to make fun of loudmouth lair Jason Akermanis! As much as I love doing it, it just feels cruel right now, wrong even…

CooneyShattered

The power of the red beard was not quite enough for Adam Cooney and the Dogs.

The Dogs dominated the opening quarter and could have built a more than handy lead if not for a couple of squandered opportunities. As a result, the Saints were able to stay in touch and slowly work their way to the front in the third term. Down by five points at three-quarter time, Brad Johnson put the Doggies back in front but it was the other captain that willed his side into the big one next Saturday afternoon.

Whether Johnson returns next season is yet to be determined but it would be a real boost for a wounded club to have that guy back next year.

RocketComposed

The hacks have quizzed Rocket every week about recruiting Barry Hall for 2010…imagine if David Schwartz asked him now!

And now we go through it all again tonight with the Cats and Pies and thank you Channel Ten…we can see it LIVE,  baby!  No Channel Seven again in 2009 so no more garden makeovers, no more tasty recipes, No Johanna Griggs and no watching Dr Harry feeding the fish…it’s finals action as it happens!!!

SchwartzDisgrace

Last night was Channel Seven’s grand final…and didn’t they deliver some high quality family fun!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Second Preliminary Final – MCG, 7:30pm (local): Geelong v Collingwood (TEN)

kevinscarlett

Matthew Scarlett is hoping to keep his hair for one more week before launching into some post-season stupidity!

Fresh from a nice relaxing week off, Geelong will be buoyed by the inclusion of two vital cogs and now appear to have their strongest available team. Steve Johnson and his dodgy hip will be a bit of an unknown quantity so they need somebody like Tom Hawkins to get on the scoreboard. Cameron Ling is not feeling the pressure now but that might change if Dane Swan gets a few early touches!

Geelong’s Dodgy Headline of the Week: Ling Primed For Ding Dong With Swan! Hmmm…Ling Ding, Swan Dong?

RejoiceEd

Settle Ed, it was just a semi final! Imagine if they actually won the flag!!! Actually, don’t do that…I dread the very thought.

It would have been difficult to forget about last Saturday night’s miracle win but, more importantly, Collingwood need to forget about what happened in round three! They have improved since then, says no-pressure Mick. How Scott Pendlebury’s broken leg has improved enough for him to play is beyond me…we’ll see.

Collingwood”s Dodgy Headline of the Week: Goldsack Wants Crack at Stevie J! All that’s missing is the defender reference so they could use the words back, crack and sack!

CATS by 19

Round Twelve – What Happened Again?

JuddBlood

Mmm…tasty! Friday night viewing at its finest starring Chris Judd

TwigsJudd

But not even the prospect of a blood-splattered reunion could keep his girlfriend away. Now that is true love!

Wow, that split round seems to drag on forever, doesn’t it! Feels like an age between Juddy’s face explosion on Friday June 12th and Cam Mooney brain explosions yesterday at Subiaco. Can barely remember most of what happened in between. If only one could find some kind of pictorial montage to help jog the memory…

Hmmm…

SevenTypo

Looks like the guy responsible for captions at Channel Seven took time off during the split round! Wonder who filled in for him and came up with this howler? My money is on David Schwarz…

KerrCousins

Ben Cousins and Daniel Kerr reflecting on old times…the ones they can remember, of course!

SelwoodShoulder

If you thought Juddy’s nose made you a little squeamish, how did you go when the Brisbane medicos popped Troy Selwood’s shoulder back into place!

BrawshawMedia

Sorry, did you say $800,000? How is this guy going to find enough money to pay Nathan Buckley to coach his club?

MalthouseCake

Well done, Mick. Remember – if the knife touches the bottom, you have to kiss the nearest boy! Now imagine if Buckley was the coach…Eddie would bring cake every week!!!

The Games:

ZacAttack

Suffer in ya jocks, Hawthorn! Hawk reject Zac Dawson actually kicks a goal of his own that helps sink Carlton and keeps St Kilda unbeaten after 12 rounds.

TigersSong2

Anyone ever associated with the Richmond Football Club joins in to sing the song after they beat West Coast. Well, it rarely happens so let them have their fun!

CoolroomDarwin

The Doggies took a nice trip to Darwin, chilled out inside a coolroom and they destroyed Port Adelaide during the split round. It was like they have just had two weeks off…lucky them!

BrownyVoss

Great win by the Lions…and you just know that whatever Browny is drinking there, it sure ain’t Powerade!!!

MolloyLaidley

Dean Laidley’s wild week started with an important trip to Adelaide…it ended with a sudden resignation and a visit from Mick Molloy! Rough week…

McVeighRivers

Very predictable result on Friday night. Melbourne = shit, Essendon = promising, Mark McVeigh = dumb!

BarryThumbsUp

I tipped Sydney to win, I have Scott Pendlebury in my fantasy team and I don’t like Collingwood very much. What a shitty Saturday night! Thumbs down, Barry. Thumbs down!

MooneySitter

They keep racking up win after win but any time a Geelong forward misses a sitter in front of goals, that’s the story right there! Especially when this hairy bloke is involved…