Tag Archives: Geelong

Everything You (Apparently) Need To Know About Barry Hall!

Yeah, I know Barry Hall. Lovely fella…wouldn’t say a bad word about him!

It’s been three days since Barry Hall punched some guy on the football field…and has there been enough discussion about the incident? You be the judge…

So has the response to this incident been a little over the top? Some think so – and that article was written on Sunday night…before every family member, expert, and punch victim had their say!

Wouldn’t mind reading about something else? Try these:

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Ahhh, Me F*&!%#$ Hammy! (Round Four – Bite Ya Nails!)

Forget Bite Ya Nails…it’s Pull Ya Hammy Round down at Essendon!

Ealy in the final term last night, the opening match of Bite Ya Nails round looked poised for a tight finish. That is, until the arse fell out of Essendon…or, more specifically, the muscle just below it! The Doggies fell behind at three quarter time after a strong start but finished with six unanswered goals to stay undefeated and totally ruin our idea of tight finishes for every match this weekend. Talk about selfish…

But the Western Bulldogs have four wins on the board and a date with Richmond next Sunday…great start to the year for them. Essendon, on the other hand, have upcoming games against the Saints and Magpies and an injury list longer than Dustin Fletcher’s arm!

Bite Ya Nails Round continues today with four matches:

THE “SHOULDA BEEN LAST WEEK” MATCH

Sucked in Saints…we beat ya to it!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): St Kilda v Geelong (TEN)

THE “ANDREW SWALLOW” MATCH

(Source: realfooty.com.au – John Donegan)

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Melbourne (FOX)

THE “EVERY BLOODY TIME” MATCH
ANZ Stadium, Sydney – 7:10pm (local): Sydney v West Coast (TEN)

THE “LYNCH-WAKELIN MEMORIAL” MATCH

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:10pm (local): Port Adelaide v Brisbane (FOX)

  • Any clash between Port and Brisbane must pay homage to the 2004 grand final! Will we see any premeditated hay-makers tonight? Now that Jono Brown is a bit more mature, we think probably not!
  • Ok – this round is actually meant to be about tight finishes….but the margin was just seven points last year, two points in 2005 and one point in 2003. So they are good for a nail-biter every couple of years or so.
  • Port Adelaide haven’t won a game yet this season and even though Mark Williams insists nobody is panicking at the Power right now, they might start if they are 0-4 after tonight.
  • Brisbane have gone for some leg speed in order to keep up with the Power…perhaps Cheynee Stiller will spend the game keeping up with Chad Cornes and telling him how cool it would be to live on the Gold Coast!

The Sky Is Falling! (Media Street)

The tragic story of two St. Kilda supporters who just can’t go on after their beloved team loses a single game of football in April. What drama!

We can all get a little bit carried away, can’t we. St Kilda lost on Friday night – you may have heard about that – after winning the NAP Cup and opening the regular season with two wins. The loss leaves them in seventh place on the AFL ladder and while coach Ross Lyon agrees that his side was well beaten, he was confident they would bounce back.

No, Ross. NO THEY WON’T! Your team is on the verge of total collapse and unless you listen closely and carefully to all these footy writers, your entire club is going to die!

So now Nick Riewoldt has to answer to all that and defend his team mates while he prepares to play this weekend and kick goals, playing on the ball, a bit on the wing and becoming the new centre half back!

At least Geelong coach Mark Thompson doesn’t believe a word of it…mainly because the Cats play the Saints this Saturday, but also because the deluge of media commentators racing themselves to identify ‘The Biggest Loser’ that week goes typically over the top. Losing happens to eight clubs every single week, they learn stuff about themselves and work to avoid it happening again.

If the Saints do beat Geelong this week, watch out for the commentators racing themselves (again) to profess how Ross Lyon must have listened to their every word. But even if they can’t beat the Cats (join the long queue there), things aren’t that bad at St Kilda…not right now anyway.

If they get towelled up by a Melbourne or Carlton later in the year as they languish in 13th, then the sky is falling. But not now.

Now that St Kilda is not imploding, what else is happening in footy:

A Weekend Of Hate! (The Lost Weekend)

Hands off fellas – all these balls are mine! (Source: Getty Images – Quinn Rooney)

Ah, the hatred – so therapeutic! Hate Ya Guts round is done for another year and apart from a few exceptions, the weekend delivered quite a few top games with plenty of argy-bargy. That Essendon-Carlton game, even though it was entertaining and high-scoring, really lacked the intense hatred that traditional and bitter rivals should feel for each other. No punches, no reports…what in the world is wrong with these guys?

Thank goodness for the Western Derby and the Showdown! Those games were brutal, compelling and the hatred was always evident – great games!

But it seems there may have been an unsavoury incident during Friday night’s Bulldogs-Saints match where Hate Ya Guts round turned into Grab Ya Nuts round! There may be trouble for Robert Harvey (the last person you’d expect to be grabbing people there!) after the umpire received a complaint from Jason Akermanis (the last person you’d expect that anyone would want to grab there!)

Good luck to the League officials who would have to investigate this one…bags not inspecting Exhibit A! And for those of you who were wondering, the television footage of the incident was inconclusive…meaning that they couldn’t find anything. Obvious joke, yes – but it needed to be said.

In other results yesterday:

A few stories floating around today:

What Time Is It? Time For More Hatred! (Round Three – Hate Ya Guts!)

Um…where is everybody?

Remembered to wind your clock back an hour after an extra week of Daylight Savings Time? Though it would be quite funny if 70,000 packed the MCG one hour early for the Richmond-Collingwood game – those two sets of supporters, sitting around, nothing to do, Hate Ya Guts round…the intensity in the stands could match that on the field!

But no supporter in their right mind would miss out on Hate Ya Guts round, unless a few Richmond fans have wound their clocks back 30 years – and you couldn’t blame them for trying, could you?

Just in case you were rocking out to Queens of the Stone Age at the V Festival and completely forgot about the footy, here’s what happened:

Today’s action:
THE ‘BIGGEST MISMATCH IN 150 YEARS’ MATCH
Happy Anniversary?
Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 1:10pm (local): Geelong v Melbourne (FOX)

THE ‘FERAL ARMY’ MATCH

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Richmond v Collingwood (SEVEN)

THE ‘RAMSGATE’ MATCH

The Best Baa By Faa?

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide – 4:10pm (local): Adelaide v Port Adelaide (FOX)

It Sucks Being This Good (The Lost Weekend)

Not Happy 

We let them kick six goals today, Bruce…I’m pretty pissed off right now!

What is it with these coaches who seem happier to win by one point rather than 100 points? Alastair Clarkson played down Hawthorn’s 104-point drubbing of Melbourne in round one, at pains to trot out the old “it’s only round one” line. Rodney Eade is similarly understated after the big win on Saturday…he seemed happier to rely on Nathan Bock missing a set shot to scrape through their opening round match!

Then yesterday, Geelong makes mincemeat out of Essendon in a frighteningly lopsided contest, prompting calls that the Cats are better than last year and everybody else should just give up now. Yet Geelong coach Mark ‘Bomber Cat’ Thompson only wanted to focus on how much his side had to improve! Well, that other team did kick a couple of goals here and there…you can’t have that! 

The Bombers actually thought they were half a show after running over the top of the Roos last week and Matthew Knights spoke about developing a ‘dare to win’ attitude with his side. Though when you ignore the best midfield in the business, you could be asking for trouble. In retrospect, he probably should have ‘double-dared’ them!

So having spanked the Bombers, what’s next for the mighty Cats? A home game at Skilled Stadium…against Melbourne. Forget the mere spanking, this could get pornographic! We are talking X-rated – if Demons Dean Bailey is looking to add some experience to his team, he should consider playing Paris Hilton!

In other results yesterday:

Coming up this week…

Western Bulldogs v St Kilda: The Saints have yet to lose a match of any kind this year – can they get over the 2-0 Dogs and set up a blockbuster with Geelong next week?

North Melbourne v Hawthorn: Both clubs should be thankful this game is not being played in Launceston!

West Coast v Fremantle: Two surly coaches, one hungry media pack – the off-field battle this week could be more intense than the on-field stuff.

Brisbane v Sydney: The two northern state clubs may each have derby matches of their own in the future…but the locals aren’t that impressed with the way the AFL has gone about it.

Essendon v Carlton: The Blues haven’t won since June 9th 2007 but even during this period of ‘rebuilding’, they are usually good for one beating of Essendon per year…usually in dramatic circumstances!

Geelong v Melbourne: Can we just call this game off now? Seriously, there’s no need to play it – just give both teams the weekend off and spare us all the embarrassment.

Richmond v Collingwood: Last week, it was the League officials – this week it’s the umpiring department. Honestly, why the hell is Mick Malthouse so pissed off all the time? Rich club, competitive team…is that not enough?

Adelaide v Port Adelaide: So the Power could be 0-3 if the Crows beat them this weekend? Wow, the Showdown may have just got a little more feral…if that is even possible!

The best of the weekend reading:

 

Being Crap Is Kinda Cute…Sometimes (Round Two – Australia, You Bloody Beauty!)

EddieEricDemons

Imagine if Steven Bradbury didn’t win that gold medal. The Aussie speed skater knew he wasn’t fast enough to beat the four other finalists but his tactic of cruising well behind the leaders and hoping they fell over worked a treat. Gold medal! National Hero! Footy game played in his honour!

But what would have happened if those other four competitors stayed on their feet (or skates) and the guy finished a distant last? We reckon two things:

  1. That the name Steven Bradbury will be remembered alongside that of Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards and Eric The Eel Moussambani;
  2. All three of those guys would just be thankful they don’t play for Melbourne!

Harsh? Maybe…but the Demons copped another beating yesterday and the new coach has a massive task ahead of him to salvage his side’s season…this after just two games! And you thought the four years between Olympics was a long, long time…try being a Melbourne supporter this season.

Just in case you were trying to find a spare $125 million yesterday and missed all the action, here’s what happened at the footy:

Today’s action:
THE ‘SYDNEY 2000 OLYMPICS’ MATCH
Sydney 2000Sorry
SCG, Sydney- 1:10pm (local): Sydney v Port Adelaide (FOX)

THE ‘QANTAS’ MATCH

PlaneAir Hostesses

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Geelong v Essendon (SEVEN)

  • The history of Australian aviation will be the focus of the Geelong v Essendon match at the Dome. Attempts to allow a series of old fighter planes to fly through the open roof and land on the surface have been scrapped because the roof will probably be closed…just in case it rains at any stage over the next five days.
  • Of course, Essendon have a long association with aviation – there’s Essendon airport, the nickname ‘Bombers’ and former coach Kevin Sheedy’s obsession with flying saucers!
  • And there is Geelong who…well, Avalon airport is not far from there…
  • When a football club is performing well, they are known to be ‘flying’. Geelong did this all of last year while Essendon unveiled a new-look playing style last week. Both clubs may be ‘flying’ right now but after this afternoon, who will have crash-landed?

THE ‘EUREKA’ MATCH

EurekaStockade

MCG, Melbourne – 4:40pm (local): Richmond v North Melbourne (FOX)