Tag Archives: Ireland

When The Game Takes Over Our Drunken Idiot Coverage! (2009 AFL Grand Final Preview)

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drunkfev

We will now briefly focus on a football game before returning you to your regularly scheduled programming…which, apparently, is this guy!

Relax, people! Once Saturday’s game is over, we can go back to the main reason we all follow the game…what stupid Brendan Fevola up to now and what EVERYBODY ELSE thinks about it! Or maybe you’ve had enough of Fev and would prefer to talk about trades – where Shaun Burgoyne thinks he is going or where Brock McLean says he is going.

Perhaps you are stunned that Marty Clarke is choosing to go home or that Matthew Lloyd is choosing to stay home. But for now, the 2009 AFL Grand Final needs to take centre stage so you’ll just have to make do with that…

Not a bad consolation though…the two best teams in the comp are virtually at full strength (sorry Max fans!) and primed to present us with a fitting finale to the footy season. It’s going to be entertaining day and a great spectacle but, please, remember to behave appropriately. You don’t want to end up like Stupid Fevola (that is, a big blokey legend!), do you?

ST KILDA SAINTS

SaintsPlane

The secret to St Kilda’s success? Not catching swine flu from the filthy, germ-infested masses!

The dominant team of 2009 but not a clear favourite… a lack of respect or is this just history talking?

The Team
B:
Jason Blake, Zac Dawson, Steven Baker
HB: Brendon Goddard, Sam Fisher, Sam Gilbert
C: Farren Ray, Lenny Hayes, Nick Dal Santo
HF: Andrew McQualter, Justin Koschitzke, Clint Jones
F: Stephen Milne, Nick Riewoldt, Jason Gram
Foll: Steven King, Leigh Montagna, Adam Schneider
I/C: Luke Ball, Raphael Clarke, Sean Dempster, Michael Gardiner
Emg: David Armitage, Jarryn Geary, James Gwilt

In: Dempster
Out: Robert Eddy

GEELONG CATS

AblettPolice

The secret to Geelong’s success? Police arresting anybody that goes within one metre of Gary Ablett!

The Team
B:
Darren Milburn, Matthew Scarlett, Corey Enright
HB: Tom Harley, Harry Taylor, Andrew Mackie
C: Joel Corey, Cameron Ling, James Kelly
HF: Jimmy Bartel, Cameron Mooney, Steve Johnson
F: Travis Varcoe, Tom Hawkins, Paul Chapman
Foll: Mark Blake, Joel Selwood, Gary Ablett
I/C: Brad Ottens, Shannon Byrnes, Max Rooke, David Wojcinski
Emg: Shane Mumford, Simon Hogan, Mathew Stokes

No change

So…who wins this bloody thing? St Kilda made the one team change but it will not result in a fairytale send-off for stalwart Max Hudghton. Geelong are unchanged but have sterner opposition compared to last week. Hard to predict a winner with any great confidence; hence the call of a draw’ being quite popular.

For me, the deciding factor is simple…and probably a touch immature, but oh well. I just don’t want to see Stephen Milne win a grand final. The thought of that little twerp receiving a premiership medallion and whooping it up would ruin my entire year.

MilneSucks

For the love of God, do not let this twerp win a premiership!

If St Kilda did win and for whatever reason; concussion,  injury, diarrhoea; Milne was not involved at the end, I could live with that. If they could vote him off the podium and replace him with Robert Harvey, even better. But please Geelong..do not let this twerp win!!!

CATS by 22

Round 21 – Get Some AFL India!

Get ready for Mad Mondays in Mumbai!

It’s the middle of August and we are on the verge of another finals series. The administrative structure of the new GC17 franchise is (very) slowly being pieced together and the League has it’s eye on the promised land of young, impressionable families out in Western Sydney; just waiting for a major football code to win over their hearts, minds and wallets.

So…what is the logical step to take as we head towards an expanded national competition? You guessed it…play preseason games in India! Of course, we have already held a preseason cup match in Dubai this year where the big-wigs at Toyota and Air Emirates got to see how a little of their pocket change was being spent. Let’s hope they were impressed…

But it appears that there will be two preseason games held in India next year, most likely in Mumbai and New Dehli, as well as a match already organised in South Africa. And the clubs are lobbying heavily to be involved! Of course, there is no real danger of our indigenous game taking off overseas but what would happen if the AFL went global? What teams would leave our fine shores? And where would they go? Let’s find out as we embark on Get Some AFL India round!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Now that the Dogs are dabbling in high-altitude training, they would gain a nice ‘home’ advantage if they played in Nepal!

Telstra Stadium, Melbourne – 7:40pm (local): Western Bulldogs v Essendon (SEVEN)

DOGS by 41: Rodney Eade says that they are not paying attention to Essendon’s injury woes…but we doubt the addition of ‘old what’s-his-name‘ and ‘that young bloke‘ will be worrying the Dogs too much!

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

The finals-starved Tigers might take America by storm – they could play their home games in New York…on 9th Street, of course!

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Richmond v Fremantle (TEN)

TIGERS by 36: The Dockers are too busy working out who will chair off their numerous retiring veterans to be bothered with game plans!

Forget Debt Demolition…maybe the Demons relocating to Ireland is what Jim Stynes has in mind all along!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide– 2:40pm (local): Port Adelaide v Melbourne (FOX)

POWER by 18: Dean Bailey may have some inside knowledge on Port Adelaide but the Power also have some info on Melbourne…like, they have won three games all year because they are not very good!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Viva Bris Vegas! Who wouldn’t travel to watch their team play away games if the Lions moved to Las Vegas?

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:10pm (local): Brisbane v Carlton (FOX)

LIONS by 19: Brisbane to stay alive for another week while the Blues will start looking ahead to 2009, when they add Daniel Kerrand Jeff White…and lots of other players that they shouldn’t be able to afford!

Collingwood are more than welcome to relocate to Dubai. They can start their own comp, win the flag every year and leave the rest of us alone…sounds fine to us!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Collingwood v Sydney (TEN)

SWANS by 25: This is more hope than logic…but we will back Paul Roos and his stable Swans to cock up the finals hopes of the confident Pies.

SUNDAY

Germany would be a great fit for the Cats…plenty of calves blood for Max Rooke and an endless supply of ‘piss, pork and porn’ for Billy Brownless!

Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 1:10pm (local): Geelong v North Melbourne (FOX)

CATS by 48: Forget the challenge from the Roos – the biggest threat to Geelong’s flag tilt would be if half the team ate a dodgy bratwurst!

Keen to gain any advantage, the Crows will base themselves in one of the world’s most intimidating and hostile environments…yep, they’ll just stay put in Adelaide!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): St Kilda v Adelaide (SEVEN)

CROWS by 14: St Kilda’s farewell to Robert Harvey will turn sour despite the ‘miracle’ recovery from Stephen Milne…the real miracle being that he made it back to Melbourne at all!

Paris, Rome, Los Angeles…the Hawks would relocate to whichever destination made Buddy Franklin happy!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): West Coast v Hawthorn (FOX)

HAWKS by 21: Hawks to win but with Lance Franklin on 94 goals, hopefully the Eagles don’t let him kick too many…we want the Buddy v Fev shootout in Round 22!