Tag Archives: Jordan McMahon

Round Eighteen – Limping To The Finish Line


“Shit! It’s all over…oh well, never mind. Beer?

The business end of the 2009 AFL season is here and those teams that harbour finals and/or premiership aspirations are busy plotting their course for September. But for clubs that are struggling with injury and/or no hope of finals action, the last remaining weeks of the season will be tough work. But before these players start throwing in the towel to focus on what dress to wear on Mad Monday, they should spare a thought for blokes like Kangaroos veteran Adam Simpson.


And TWAAAANG goes the calf muscle!!! At least Adam Simpson’s final ever training session was memorable…

Simpson announced his retirement early last week with his final game to be played on the Friday night against Carlton. Problem was…he injured his calf at his final training session, a mere 24 hours before the Roos were due to play! This didn’t stop Simpson from taking his place in the side and although Carlton managed to spoil the party, Simmo’s effort to play was clearly the highlight of the night.


Hang on, that looks like…no, it couldn’t be…Yes, it is! It’s Brad Ottens playing football!!!

The mighty Geelong Cats may appear to be limping towards the finals yet they keep finding ways to win. But a rare Brad Ottens sighting was probably even bigger news than the victory – whether he plays in September, or just how good he will be, is still unknown but the Cats sure do need him!


Richo’s comeback game consisted of nine minutes of footy and a couple of hours of sitting around.

Is Matthew Richardson limping towards the finish line of his AFL career? His comeback game for Coburg in the VFL didn’t go so well and for a guy who is 34 years old, out of contract, coming off major hamstring surgery and playing at an unsuccessful club looking for a new senior coach, showing he can still play AFL right now is pretty damn important, yes? So when Herald Sun hack Mark Robinson rants about how Richo shouldn’t bother trying to play again in ’09 on Channel Seven’s AFL Game Day show on Sunday morning, what was the response from fellow panelist and former Tigers coach Terry Wallace?


If only there was somebody with just the tiniest amount of knowledge about Tigerland that could help Mark Robinson understand why Richo needs to play again this year. Anybody? Anybody that might just be sitting next to him?? Anyone whose name rhymes with Jerry Schmallace???

Nothing! Nada! Zip! You could hear crickets in the background! When Terry is forced to explain why his time at Richmond went to crap, you can’t shut him up on how all the decisions at Tigerland (made by people other than him, of course!) contributed to his lack of success. But a situation with a guy he actually coached for four-and-a-half years and was directly involved in the decision on how Richo should approach his comeback (because he was the actual coach when the injury occurred) yet he has absolutely nothing to say about this? Is this why he just walked into media gigs within minutes of being sacked? How does this even happen???


Rugby league player Karmichael Hunt kicks that funny-shaped red football at Broncos training. Looks like he needs all the practice he can get…

But the club that is currently limping towards (or out of) the finals race which is the biggest surprise? Is it Hawthorn? Is it Essendon? No…try the Brisbane Broncos! They just copped the biggest hiding in their illustrious history and are in danger of missing the NRL finals…for the first time since 1991! But I’m sure the Broncos players are going all out to win and are not distracted with kicking AFL footballs at training because their young star is leaving the code to join the new AFL franchise on the Gold Coast. This kind of thing happens all the time…no, wait! It hasn’t happened before? Hmmm…

The Games:


Cheer up, Drew Petrie…at least you get to play another game next week! What about poor Simmo?

When Carlton play on a Friday night, two things usually happen – Robert Walls writes (yet) another article about the Blues and they get beaten. This time only one of those things happened…and there was no way Wallsy could write about anybody else! The Blues spoiled the Adam Simpson party though it was far from convincing or attractive. In fact, the Roos could quite easily have claimed victory and placed Carlton’s finals hopes in real jeopardy. They will probably make it now…but will they be any good once they get there?


Brad Johnson claims the Bulldogs games record from Chris Grant…while that old bloke in the background is still pissy that he doesn’t hold it because he was sacked and forced to finish his career at Fitzroy!

It was Brad Johnson day for the Western Bulldogs and his teammates sure didn’t let him down. They didn’t let Lindsay Gilbee down either, standing up for him on what must have been a tough, tough afternoon! Fremantle weren’t too concerned with their lack of success at Whatshishead Stadium…as they have little success wherever they go!


You think these Cats are happy about the win? Just wait until Cam Mooney joins in…he lurves a good man-cuddle!

The Adelaide Crows went to the regional centre of Geelong looking for a genuine footy scalp and a top-four spot. They almost got it…if only they knew how to stop those baldies! These Cats might be thin up top and down back for the moment but they are working together to earn wins and second spot behind the undefeated Saints is a great place for them to be.


No four points, no big scalp, no long-term memory. Can somebody help these Crows take off their boots? They all seem to have forgotten how to do it!


Alan Didak takes an overly-dramatic dive to try and con a free kick from the umpires


…which was more reminiscent of Brazil’s Rivaldo than Aussie Rules…


…yet the Brisbane Lions guy is a loser? Seriously??? Pot – Kettle!

With The Big Announcement and a ninth win from ten matches, Collingwood are back to their smart-arsy best and are setting themselves for the top four. The Lions looked primed for the upset after Browny’s accidental head clash left Simon Prestigiacomo groggy but the skipper struggled after the main break when he had anywhere between three and five defenders pushing back on him. If only Jono Brown had another big forward to help him out


Um, your shoulder is probably not meant to do that! But, in typical St Kilda-2009 good fortune, Steven King was able to keep playing.

I tipped Sydney to knock off the Saints, ending the quest for The Perfect Season and possibly becoming the only tipster in Australia to pick all eight winners for the round. The Swans lost by one lousy point! And St Kilda’s season has been so outrageously blessed that The Age is now writing feature articles about that little twerp Milne!!! I’m so depressed…


Mickey O misses a sitter that might have cost his side the upset of the season, and my perfect tipping round. Yep, thanks for that…


Jade Rawlings learns something new about Richmond in the dramatic win over the Dees…Nathan Brown prefers to be on top!

Dean Bailey could barely believe it…and neither could I! Richmond managed a great escape with the win over Melbourne courtesy of a goal after the siren from Jordan McMahon. Coach Rawlings knew that McMahon would be fine taking the match-deciding kick despite his regular displays of bad decision making…highlighted by his decision to leave the Western Bulldogs for Richmond two years ago!


Perhaps Channel Seven showed this match in ten-minute delay in case Ricky Olarenshaw’s head overheated during his hyper-speed quarter-time summaries!

There must be a logical explanation as to why Ch.7 would bother broadcasting the Port Adelaide-Hawthorn match into Melbourne with a slight delay…or is Adelaide further behind the time than we realise? Otherwise, we live in a world where dickheads like Kyle and Jackie O broadcast live when they need a delay (actually, they need new jobs!) but the biggest sport in Australia is not ‘live’? Crazy!!! Anyway, Port Adelaide won and find themselves in the top eight…well, for this week at least.


A first-gamer kicking goals to help the Eagles win? Forgive Callum Wilson for he knows not what he does!

What? The West Coast Eagles won? But aren’t they meant to be ‘tanking’? Well, yes…if you paid any attention to lazy hack journos who throw out the ‘T’ word willy-nilly with no substantial thought behind it. There is clearly a problem rewarding defeat with a priority draft pick but  when you lose by less than a kick in round 17, it’s not ‘tanking’. And when you beat a top-eight side (at the time of the opening bounce) to register a fifth win for the season, giving up your entitlement to the priority draft pick, it’s not ‘tanking’ either. Using the ‘T’ word inappropriately actually helps Andy D with his ‘media beat-up’ argument! Maybe those guys at the Herald Sun are just struggling a bit themselves…limping to the finish line, perhaps?


The Grand Final (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

WIll Steve Johnson fill the void left by Matthew Pavlich and lead us to glory? We friggin’ hope so!

Well, the fantasy football season comes down to this…one final week to determine who takes out league premiership glory! And Half Back Flanker will be taking part on that last weekend in August…though it will only be for our AFL Dream Team squad. Having been virtually top four in this comp all year and finishing as the minor premier, it is a nice reward to have a shot at the grand geeky prize!

Last week, we prophecised about how it only takes a bad game here, a late withdrawal there and months of good results can go down the gurglar. And sure enough, our Premium Dream Team suffered that very fate. Matthew Stokes drops out of the Geelong team, Jordan McMahon (27 points? At home to Fremantle?) may as well not have played either…and we lose the prelim by 156 points! So third will play fifth in the grand final and we are left to smash our head against a wall, cursing the name Alan Didak!

But forget all that. We have a big game to focus on this week and the good fortune of having two trades left to plug any gaps…like the one Matthew Pavlich is leaving in our forward line! Having waited until the final hour before making our all-important trades, we now sit back and wait for each game to unfold…hoping that we can pull off a big win in the grand final. And with one of our opponent’s elite midfielders (Dane Swan) being outpointed by our mid-range defender (Garrick Ibbotson) in the Friday night match, things are going our way early!

The Grand Final

Dream Team: 39,009 points, 8,334th place overall – also finishing strongly in the overall category.

Last Week: defeated Moolias 1,860 to 1,612 – comfortable win but the decision to keep two bench forwards that were not selected to play almost backfired when Pavlich withdrew late. At least he won’t do that to me again…

Good: A nice spread of solid scores, with only Nick Stevens producing a spectacular 134! Nick Riewoldt was our only other 100-plus player (that was on the field, at least…) but there were twelve others in the 80-90 range.

Bad: We left Paul Chapman on the bench because we had some doubt over whether he would score well or even play at all. Sure enough, he produces a 121! Don’t worry…he’s straight back in this week!

Ugly: After weeks of leaving Kurt Tippett and Ben Ross as our benched forwards and running the risk of no emergencies, it finally caught up with us when Pav dropped out on Saturday. We were left praying that it wouldn’t cost us a spot in the grand final and there were some anxious moments…

Grand Final: 5th placed Carina Lions (2,070) – great effort to make it this far after finishing outside the top four and a midfield that contains the big guns (Bartel, Swan, Power, Mitchell) will make them tough to beat!

Final changes/trades: Time to cash in those final two trades. Firstly, it’s bye bye Matthew Pavlich…and we have traded him for Geelong’s Steve Johnson. We did look at Matthew Lloyd but not only is Johnson cheaper but playing a home game against the depleted Eagles…we feel that Lloyd won’t quite get the same amount of scoring opportunities.

That left one more trade and plenty of cash to finally upgrade our defence…and with Mark Nicoski facing the Cats, we felt he would be the best trade option. So it’s Nicoski out and Melbourne’s Paul Wheatley in! He was a great addition to our Premium Dream Team when we nabbed him from free agency after an injury layoff and we can sense a 100-plus outing against Richmond coming up for him!

The Team:

Defenders – Chris Newman, Andrew Mackie, Daniel Bradshaw, Michael Osborne, Paul Wheatley, Andrew McLeod, Garrick Ibbotson. (Emergency: Sean Dempster)

Midfielders – Kane Cornes, Nick Stevens, Bryce Gibbs, Rhys Palmer, Paul Chapman, Bradd Dalziell. (Emergency: Ryan Griffin)

Rucks – Dean Cox, Troy Simmonds.

Forwards – Lance Franklin, Brett Deledio, Nick Riewoldt (c), Matthew Richardson (vc), Steve Johnson, Brad Johnson, Cyril Rioli. (Emergency: Kurt Tippett)