Tag Archives: Kevin Sheedy

Round Fifteen – The Great Unravelling!

SheedyKiddie

Look on the bright side Sheeds…at least these kids won’t be blaming you for Richmond’s ongoing woes in the future!

Oh, the drama! Something seems to happen every single weekend in AFL footy that makes you sit up and take notice…well, footy stories are always reported with dramatic overtones – whether they are worthy of the hype is up to our discretion. The largest football juggernaut to unravel this weekend was not a player, a team or a club…it was Kevin Sheedy’s coaching aspirations at Richmond!

While the campaign to place Sheeds in charge at Punt Road has been artificially bubbling ever since he left Essendon (thanks to one of his employers, the Herald Sun), it was only officially launched a week or so ago. His former teammate and notorious Punt Road malcontent Kevin Bartlett was leading the charge and the maniacal support from people who are fast approaching retirement age were selling Sheedy as if he were the only logical option for the Tigers. What could possibly go wrong?

But, unfortunately for the oldies, people who were born after the 1950’s make the decisions at Richmond and seeing the writing on the wall, Sheeds magnanimously decided to withdraw his application. He feels that his application will not receive true consideration and didn’t want another Channel Nine soap opera…which the network will now turn this into a soap opera anyway. And we all know what happens when Channel Nine has a show that viewers don’t really want to watch…they make a second series!

But all that hard work from Bartlett and friends down the gurgler…they are far from impressed! Will they suddenly lose interest in dictating who should coach Richmond next year or find another experienced campaigner with a once-impeccable record to endorse? Wonder what Ron Barassi is up to these days? Poor Sheeds. But he should know how melodramatic things get on the coaching roundabout…and not just at Richmond!

Now apart from Kev,what else went wrong during The Great Unraveling?

The all-conquering Geelong Cats?

ThompsonUnhappy

Joel Corey is shocked as Mark Thompson raises his voice for the first time since the year 2006!

The Fremantle Dockers…again!

FreoGoal

Yep, this was Freo’s only goal for the night. Savour the moment…

The Sydney Swans without Barry Hall!

HallGoodbye

Bye bye…Barry! Bye bye…Sydney Swans for 2009! Bye bye…any mention of AFL footy in the Sydney papers for the rest of the year!

Port Adelaide’s credibility!

RodanLoss

Could be worse, David Rodan…you could still be at Richmond!

The Games:

ThomasCelebrates

A big goal, even bigger celebration…yep, that’s what we’ve come to expect from Magpie Dale Thomas!

Sheesh…that was close! Collingwood appeared to have this match all under control before the Doggies fired up in the last term. But the Pies held on to win by one point and showed that they could well be a threat to the Saints and/or Cats in two months time. The Dogs showed that they are at least capable of coming back from 39 points down…shame they were down by 41 in this game though!

DidakWatson

Nice to see Alan Didak playing great footy and talking to the media without having to use the words “I’d like to apologise for my actions”!

HallSendoff

Yep, Bazza was sitting in the back of a ute for his lap of honour. Could not have been more perfect!

The Sydney faithful bid farewell to their favourite brain-snapping bruiser during Saturday’s home game against Essendon…and that was easily the highlight of their afternoon. It was a taste of what life will be like without him – struggling team, no finals and not even a hint of mindless violence to keep people entertained. The Bombers remain in the finals hunt with a rare interstate winno wonder they are a wee bit excited.

FevSpecial

Fev loves pulling freakish goals out of his arse…this was one of his absolute best!

Brendan Fevola has his care factor set to ‘high’ and attitude set to ‘smartarse’ on the way to registering a career-high nine goals in Carlton’s win over Richmond. Which is great against a crap team in early July…but Carlton need Fev to show this amount of energy and committment in the crucual games coming up. Will we get ‘interested Fev’ then or ‘sooky Fev’? We shall see…

DeledioHand

B..R..E..T..um, do I spell my name with one T or two? Or is it three?I always forget…

VossWinner

“Injuries, schminjuries! We beat Geelong and we deserve some respect, ya pricks! Yeah, you heard me…pricks the lotta ya!!!”

Gee…when it rains in Geelong, it pours doesn’t it! Barely lost a game for two and a half years, few injury troubles…now they have lost two games and half their team in one week! Brisbane took full advantage and super coach Michael Voss has his Lions all set for a return to finals action….and loving it too, one suspects!

GoodwinChair

Simon Goodwin puts on a brave face after his 250th game…but secretly shattered that his mates let him down by allowing their opponents to kick a goal!

Have the Adelaide Crows ever had an easier night’s work than this? Fremantle have had plenty of shitty results in their checkered history…but one goal in an entire game? One freakin’ goal? Surely it can’t get any shittier than this for the Dockers…can it? Well, don’t put it past them – they still have away games against the Dogs and Cats yet!

BuddyWins

Not sure where you have been, Buddy…but welcome back!

Maybe Hawthorn aren’t stuffed after all…though they looked certain to suffer defeat at the hands of the Kangas in Tassie on Sunday. The Hawks were holding out for a hero and up stepped Lance Franklin!  Buddy appeared from under the rock where he had seemingly been hiding with a stellar final term to pinch a vital win away from North Melbourne and stay in contention for the finals. The Roos may lack the stars but at least they have the cars – Mazda’s renewal of their major sponsorship a major boost…almost better than the four competition points. Almost…

JurrahHanger

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Mr Liam Jurrah!

Not sure how you explain the world going all arse-backwards like this but Geelong have lost two in a row and Melbourne have won two in a row! Jimmy Stynes would have loved the events that unfolded at the ‘G…not surprisingly, Mark Williams hated it! And now his players will be hating him after a 6am wake-up call! Choco can’t afford any more performances like that if he wants to play finals…or finalise that new contract!

The West Coast Eagles kept this one close for three quarters, placing St Kilda’s pursuit of The Perfect Season in some jeopardy until they got serious. The Saints eventually made it fifteen from fifteen and the coach felt that being able to win games interstate was important…which it is; though it is probably more important not to lose against a bottom-four side ever, no matter the venue! And now that the Eagles’ biggest and best player might be done for the year, so could any chance of them landing a big scalp before seasons end.

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Round Fourteen – Saints Defeat Cats, Now Face Connor MacLeod!

ConnorMacleod

Only decapitation from the blade of the Highlander stands between St Kilda and immortality! Or they might lose to the Doggies…

There can be only one…undefeated team left!

GardinerMark

And that team is…St Kilda! The Saints survived in an epic contest at Whatshishead Stadium. Thirteen wins each, two months of anticipation and no shortage of hype but the game delivered everything we all expected…perhaps more! An amazing start, great fightback from the Cats and a grandstand finish. How crazy will the build-up be to this year’s grand final if both these teams make it…please let it happen!!!

There can be only one…reigning premier – but not for long!

MitchellShattered`

The Hawks are stuffed.

There can be only one…Tom Cruise!

CruiseFooty

And he was at the footy on Friday night to take in some of the action between the Pies and Bombers. Katie Holmes was there too…she spent the night trying to find a back exit or open window from which she could escape! Run Katie – run for your life!!!

There can be only one…Jim Stynes!

StynesJumper

The former Demons star and club president faces a tough battle having been diagnosed with cancer. His team put in a performance on the weekend that befitted the emotional week for all involved at Melbourne…unfortunately, this type of performance is a rarity for the Dees.

There can be only one…Kevin Sheedy!

SuperSheedy

The highly predictable campaign to make Sheeds the next coach of Richmond was officially launched last week after the crushing loss to St Kilda. Of course, all his supporters appear to be aged 50 or above…and his campaign manager is a guy who was so out of touch with the coaching caper twenty years ago, he got the flick from Tigerland and refused to go near the place until recently. As great a coach as Sheedy is and/or was, do any of these old dudes realise it is almost the year 2010 now?

There can be only one…most glamorous WAG?

WAGSurvey

According to the Herald Sun’s annual footy survey, these are the types of questions us footy fans really want to know the answers to. Now I know that this particular media outlet is designed to entertain us rather than inform us so there is no point taking it seriously. But honestly…shit like this is just a waste of f@&$#ng time, isn’t it?

There can be only one…Channel Seven!

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A flashback to a classic Geelong-St Kilda match…the perfect lead-in to yesterday’s blockbuster. But what did CH7 show before this?

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Yep, nothing helps builds the anticipation for a massive game of footy like…Revenge Of The Nerds 4!!!

There can be only one…Terry Wallace!

WallaceMedia

How the hell does Terry Wallace get flooded with offers from all forms of media after his disastrous tenure at the Tigers? And is there anybody less qualified to comment on what Richmond should be doing right now than the guy who just actually effed it up over five years?

The Games:

FraserGoal

Magpie fans celebrate as ruckman Josh Fraser plays well and doesn’t even dog it once! Suck on that, Grant Thomas…

Well, Anzac Day seems like a lifetime away now, doesn’t it!  And nice to see our beloved media hacks working Tom Cruise references into their work as best they could! That’s right – Collingwood Cruised to victory against Essendon to open round 14 action, leaving Matthew Knights to pick up the pieces and keep Essendon in the finals hunt. At least Mark McVeigh will be fresh for the next match…unless Dean Solomon is back in town this week!

PregameDees

Alright, which of you blokes have stolen the footys? We only have two and can’t afford to buy any more. Just give ’em back, will ya’s?

Yes – Melbourne finally had a win! Yes – they did it for Jim Stynes! And yes – they showed the passion and commitment to make their supporters proud on such an emotional day! But, come on – they were playing an equally crap team who have barely won outside of Perth since Chris Judd left town. If they couldn’t win this match, then there was no hope for this club whatsoever…

BrennanCarr

It will cost him a few weeks but for what he did to Josh Carr, on behalf of the AFL world, I say…thank you Jared Brennan!

Gee, the Power must really love Mark Williams! In the first game since they learnt that Choco would be given the opportunity to coach on at Port Adelaide, his team blitzed high-flying Brisbane in the final quarter and dragged themselves back into finals calculations. So how did they do it? They prepared…now that’s a handy tip!

ThumbsUpRocket

Wow, a rare smile and a big thumbs up from Doggies coach Rocket Eade! But who is he copying…Barry Hall or Arthur Fonzarelli?

Bulldogs – awesome! Hawthorn – shit! Probably no need to elaborate much more on this one…

FoleyBoot

Surely you don’t need to employ Kevin Sheedy as your coach to teach players where your footy boots are meant to go. Um, Nathan Foley…try your feet!

Up at Carrara Stadium, Adelaide scored a relatively comfy win over Richmond. Local boy Kurt Tippett showed a liking to playing footy in Queensland with five  goals for the winners. Wonder if he has heard about this new team that will be starting up on the Gold Coast soon?

MickeyO

Micky O’Loughlin whoops it up after kicking the sealer. He only has a couple of months left so let him lap it up while he can!

Whether this was Sydney’s first taste of life without Barry Hall has yet to be determined. If so, it appears that it will be a struggle. But the Swannies did win a close one against North Melbourne that keeps them within reach of the finals. But let’s face it…without the prospect of witnessing a Bazza brainsnap, who really wants to see Sydney feature in September action anyway?

StevieJOut

Steve Johnson out? Guess it is too late to change my tip…

What a freakin’ game!!! What a freakin’ game!!! What a freakin’ game!!!

CarltonYellows

The famous old dark…yellows? No, seriously…THAT is the Carlton team. They actually played in that!

Fremantle and Carlton played last night? Really? With all the excitement of the St Kilda-Geelong game, I totally forgot! Apparently, the yellow team won

Prolonging The Agony! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

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Our verdict of the long countdown between games for fantasy footy? It bites!!!

Having a mid-season split round, where the eight games are spread out over two weekends, is certainly beneficial for many in the footy community. It allows battle-weary players a richly-deserved (in most cases…) week off to unwind and prepare for the second half of the season. It also allows disillusioned senior coaches the time to reflect on their future direction and the viability of their current position. And it provides footy clubs with a little extra time to figure out what the heck they are going to do when their disillusioned senior coaches reflects on his future direction and quits his current position.

But what is the impact on the split round for fantasy coaches? Well, it probably depends on the performance of those players who participated in the five AFL matches played last weekend. If those players fired and your teams look set for victory, it is a very pleasant time. If your team is in trouble, you’ve had a full week of kicking yourself and your dodgy decision making before being put out of your misery!

So…which camp is Half Back Flanker in? We definitely need to bounce back after a disappointing round that saw us knocked out of the Eliminator in Dream Team and narrowly defeated by Sheeds in Super Coach! Read on to find out…

Dream Team

20,708 points overall, 19,951th place – 1,836 points last round.

Current Round:

986 points – 12 players (captain yet to play).

Public League

Last Round: lost to Uninformed (1,999). Third straight loss but big percentage keeps us fourth.

Ladder – 4th place (5-3, 121.69%)

Current opponents: 14th placed Piss Off GC17 & WS18 (1,311 last round). 841 points – 11 players (no captain). Fantastic name, not so great team…well, no captain is a giveaway! Should snap the losing streak…

SENFrank01

Last Round: lost to The Dominators (2,007). Expected a greater margin of defeat, loss sees us two games back from fifth placed team.

Ladder – 6th place (4-4, 100.79%)

Current opponents: 2nd placed Sicilian Vespers (1,990 last week). 1,052 points – 14 players (captain yet to play). Two player advantage and only down 66 points, outside shot at a win…particularly if my captain (Joel Selwood) outscores his captain (Gary Ablett).

Twitter DT

Last Round: defeated Dodge This (1,671). Three-match win streak and now three wins ahead of ninth placed team. Looks like we are headed to the finals in this league.

Ladder – 4th place (6-2, 108.50%)

Current opponents: 1st placed Big Al’s Bombers (1,842 last week). 1,263 points – 13 players (captain played). I have two extra players and the captain this weekend to make up the difference but big Al appears to have too many elite players going around this weekend as well. Trouble…big trouble!

Super Coach

22,269 points overall, 23,971th place – 2,131 points last round.

Current Round:

935 points – 10 players (captain yet to play).

GMHBA

Last Round: lost to Sheedy’s Superstars  (2,192 last week). Regretting a couple of selections for reserves and persisting with Shane Mumford. Would have loved to knock off Sheeds…maybe in the finals.

Ladder – 2nd place (6-2, 112.32%)

Current opponents: 3rd placed Kervos Heroes (1,973 last week). 1,336 points – 15 players (captain yet to play). Both have Gary Ablett as captain so it will come down to whether my five extra players can make up the 400 or so points to pinch the win.

Premium Dream Team

Last Round: 1,383 points – Poor start to the season continues

Current Round: 1,018 points – 12 players (captain played) –

Public League

Last Round: defeated Sydney Blast (1,208). Lucky we played these guys last week considering our ongoing injury woes.

Ladder – 6th place (1-1, 99.18%)

Current opponents: 2nd placed Baywatch Manboobs (1,506 last week). 1,084 points – 11 players (captain played) Thanks to a big night from Manboobs captain (as opposed to Captain Manboobs!) Nick Riewoldt, probably in trouble this round and not liking my chances in this comp at all!

Look Out Sheeds! (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

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Taking on the almighty Sheeds for top spot in my Super Coach league! Bring it on…

With scores of over 2,000 in both AFL Dream Team and Herald Sun Super Coach competitions last weekend, Half Back Flanker teams managed to perform well in their respective leagues. We have also survived another round of the Dream Team Eliminator to defy all rankings and expectations! The only real disappointment came in the opening weekend of the Premium Dream Team comp, where multiple injuries before and during last round hit the team hard and will force radical changes on us this week as well.

But this upcoming round will be memorable just for the opportunity to be taking on a legitimate footy guru in the fantasy stakes. Legendary coach and provider of much joy (and occasional confusion) for this Bomber fan, Kevin Sheedy, has his fantasy team Sheedy’s Superstars in our Herald Sun Super Coach public league. We face off this week and with his side undefeated, and HBF in outright second, it is a top-of-the-table clash that carries plenty of kudos for this fantasy owner.

But, in what is the weekly ritual here, first task is to wade through the injury carnage from last weekend and come up with 22 fit players. And there is a major casualty…Chad Cornes is out for a number of weeks and that affects every fantasy team we own. Including the Premium Dream Team where he was our second round draft pick! Crap!!!

Chad Finger

Last year, it was the finger. This year, it’s the knee! Chad’s out so it’s time to trade…or is it?

Dream Team 18,872 points overall, 18,538th place – slight improvement overall and closing in on best overall ranking for the season.

Last Week: 2,048 points – break the 2,000 barrier for the second time and best weekly effort this year.

League Results

Public League – lost to Woosha Warriors (2,091). A second straight narrow loss sees us drop to fourth but it is more fun losing a close one than winning against teams that aren’t trying!

SENFrank01 – defeated Murphys Demons  (1,769). Four straight wins sees us climb up to sixth on the ladder, two wins up on SEN’sFrancis Leach.

Twitter DT – defeated Krazy Kanadians (1,153). Great percentage booster…which I desperately needed.

Eliminator – defeated Cyril Says (1,947). Still alive! Down to the last 4,096 teams and survived much longer than last year.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 4th place (5-2, 127.46%)

SENFrank01 – 6th place (4-3, 102.24%)

Twitter DT – 4th place (5-2, 108.31%)

Good:  Nine 100-plus scores, including three over 130 (Goddard, Adcock and Joel Selwood) and a ton for new buy Greg Broughton.

Bad: A few of the usual suspects – Shannon Hurn (52) and Shane Mumford (42) are not stars so you have to live with that. But Buddy Franklin (48) is far from the figure that lit up the AFL in 2008.

Ugly: Chad Cornes…and his knee injury that put him out of action for a while, leaving me with star-studded but non-contributing bench of Cornes and Hodge.

Next opponents:

Public League – 8th placed Uninformed (1,870 last week). Good midfielders and Cox/Sandilands ruck combo…capable of a big score.

SENFrank01 – 4th placed The Dominators (2,148 last week). One of the top 1,500 teams overall…looks like my win streak is over!

Twitter DT – 11th placed Dodge This (1,785 last week). Short in defence and has Chad Cornes but with two decent trades, could well become a tough match-up.

Eliminator – Danish Summer (2,228 last week) We have quite a number of the same players but they have more depth and two strong rucks. Last hurrah for me!

Potential changes/trades: With Dempsey and Hodge back this week, might take a gamble and hold onto Cornes for now. We can cash him in at a later date. But it might be time to cash in on Dayne Beams with Beau Muston’s price due to go through the roof after this round following two impressive AFL games so far. And to have any chance of progressing in the Eliminator, I need to upgrade Mumford in the ruck. Fell just short of having enough cash for Dean Cox but went with Hamish McIntosh for an all North Melbourne ruck duo.

Captain: Joel Selwood looks a great choice in what should be another dominant midfield performance by the Cats at Subiaco against the Eagles. Vice captain is a toss-up between Pendlebury and Goddard.

Super Coach 20,138 points overall, 24,227th place – another slight increase but a long way from my season-high overall position in round four.

Last Week: 2,148 points – second best score for the season but also well below my top mark.

League Results

GMHBA – defeated Bite Back (1,999). Good win puts me in outright second and a shot at top spot this weekend.

Ladder Positions

GMHBA – 2nd place (6-1, 115.09%)

Good:  Twelve players with 100-plus scores, including five of our six midfielders. Having ‘new guy’ Ablett (150) as captain helped boost our total though Dane Swan produced a 166!

Bad: Six players with under 50 points…including four defenders, three due to injury and the other being new whipping boy Heath Grundy.

Ugly: Unfortunately, the injury situation will probably mean that Grundy has to stay for now. Cornes, Dempsey, Sam Gilbert and Stephen Hill could all potentially be missing this week. If that happens, our battle with Sheeds will be severely hampered.

Next opponents:

GMHBA – 1st placed Sheedy’s Superstars  (2,143 last week). Surprised that he doesn’t have Kepler Bradley, Mark Bolton, Dean Wallis and Kevin Walsh…that is his dream team!

Potential changes/trades: The decision to trade Cornes in Super Coach was forced through the injury to Sam Gilbert. We went for Xavier Ellis at a saving of around 80 grand, the Hawks defender just back from injury and averaging over 100 in the two games he completed fully. We also did the Beau Muston for Dayne Beams trade to raise more funds…now have 250 grand but only eight trades left and upgrades still required down back, in the middle and the second ruck.

Captain: Dane Swan outscored Ablett last weekend and faces lowly Melbourne on Monday. With some doubts over Gazza’s fitness, will go with Swan and hand the vice captaincy to Dean Cox. But just for this week only…

Premium Dream Team

Last Week: 1,529 points – There were worse scores in our league but ours was way off the leaders.

League Results

Public League – lost to Teal Power (1,728). Not a great start.

Ladder Positions

Public League – 6th place (0-1, 88.48%)

Good:  Four 100-plus scores, including vice-captain Brad Sewell’s 133 (49 points higher than captain Bryce Gibbs…damn) and the draft gamble on injured Cat Shannon Byrnes paid off with a whopping 136 return against Essendon.

Bad: Apart from the ruck position, all our reserves scored higher than at least one on-field player in their positions…including Jack Grimes (86) who was our third highest scoring defender.

Ugly: First, I drafted Chad Cornes into midfield by mistake instead of defence. Then, he scores poorly. And now, he requires knee surgery! Oh, and Sam Gilbert has an ankle problem. And have I mentioned Jarrad Waite and Roger Hayden? I know have just three fit defenders from my original draft…

Next opponents:

Public League – 9th placed Sydney Blast  (1,241 last week). Solid but unspectacular team with only one 100-plus player last week…Chris Tarrant!?

Potential changes/trades: Chad Cornes out for reigning Brownlow medalist Adam Cooney in the hope that he has a big second half to the year. Michael Johnson out for teammate Steven Dodd…he was probably the best of what was left.

Captain: Brad Sewell is usually a pretty good choice…though I worry with him facing Sydney on Sunday…

Where’s Wallace? (Media Street)

rockstarterry

The smile, the sunnies, the media throng that follows him everywhere he goes…talk about living the rock star life! Tell me Terry isn’t loving every second of this!!!

We all know that when there is a “CRISIS” in AFL footy, there is nowhere to hide. Richmond are currently in “CRISIS” mode and the eyes of all media and Tiger supporters are fixated on the footpaths and back exits at Punt Road. So what is going on down there?

richospeaks

Richmond’s spokesman for mental problems reveals to the footy world that…yes, they have mental problems!


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The KKK? Look more like a cheap-ass Casper the Friendly Ghost…with a little Blues Brothers thrown in!

Um…sorry but are Fremantle players really dressing up as members of the Klu Klux Klan in order to pull pranks on their teammates?

dockerkkkquote


Did I say KKK? I meant that the players dress up like the RSPCA! They go around feeding puppy dogs and petting kitty cats…our players are soooooooo cute!!!

Sounds more like a poor choice of words from the Freo assistant coach to me. Come on – this is the twenty-first century! As if anybody would seriously be that insensitive as to parade around in racist paraphernalia these days…

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Um…never mind!

Round Two – Some Things Never Change

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The moment when the new rushed behind rule won me over…

Tough questions being asked of good teams after just two rounds, youngsters making the most of their opportunities, off-field indiscretions (not just by footballers either) and the Fremantle Dockers stinking up football grounds all across the nation. These are just some of the AFL footy norms that occur year after year…and 2009 appears to no exception.

One element of the game that does appear to change every season is the rules but even that creates the traditional argument about the laws of the game and whether all these damn changes are necessary and why don’t they just leave the game alone! But the evidence after two rounds is that the implementation of the rushed behind rule will be a big success.

After some dodgy decisions in the equally dodgy NAP Cup, the opening round saw a reduction of rushed behinds and produced some exciting passages of play in the defensive fifty…mainly because the players didn’t quite know what to do when under pressure close to goal! I thought that once the players and/or coaches figured out how to exploit the rule, it might not have much of an impact. But when Ed Lower swooped past a hesitant defender inches from the line to kick a goal early in the last quarter of yesterday’s Bulldogs-Kangaroos game, it absolutely won we over.

The fifty-metre penalty for dragging down running players after disposal…that’s a different story! But another of footy’s norms is that the League cannot get everything right…

The Games:

xmenstyle

Shall we call him Logan, Weapon X or Wolverine? Brendon Goddard and the Saints take out the Crows…X-Men style!

The St Kilda bandwagon was already starting to gain momentum but it might get out of control now after finishing all over the Crows in Adelaide on Friday night. Chuck in Trent Hentschel’s knee and the Nathan Bock affair…what a shit weekend for the Crows!

prezed

The Prez looks at the scoreboard and then vomits a little bit in his own mouth…

President Eddie looks worried here but the Pies eventually recovered to win handily. But if they had lost, would Media Eddie have told President Eddie that he should bring Kevin Sheedy to Magpieland…just like he did with Richmond last week? Hopefully, we can look forward to just one week when we don’t hear a peep from any of the Eddies…fat chance, right?

terrypress

Don’t worry Terry…you will probably feel much, much, much flatter than this later on this season!

You just got flogged by Carlton, have rarely beaten Geelong and then gave the Cats one heck of a fright down at Kardinia Park. And you feel flatter now than this time last week? Does he mean flatter in the stomach because he punched out a shitload of abdominal crunches all week? No, apparently not. Who should be feeling flat right now…Brad Ottens, that’s who!

The Sydney Swans had a planmust have worked ok. The Hawks have now suffered their first loss on the “Morale Victory” competition ladder but, unfortunately, the reigning champs have yet to register a win on the real ladder…you know, the one that counts for something.

jonospit

Browny is spitting chips…and that was before he got reported!

According to the back page of the Herald Sun, The Mighty Blues crushed the Lions to remain unbeaten after two rounds. Apparently easy wins against Richmond and holding off a late fightback against Brisbane at home makes you a ‘mighty’ team…imagine all the adjectives they could use if they actually beat a team that finished in the top eight recently…

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Sure, it’s not a pint of Guinness but young Irishman Michael Quinn doesn’t seem to mind having a drink tipped on his head!

Speed Kills…and coaching Fremantle can’t be good for your health either! Essendon take care of the Dockers to win their first of the season, forcing Patrick Smith to make shit up about another team this week. But what was more amazing – that AFL novice Michael Quinn made such an impression on debut…or that Kevin Sheedy never actually recruited and played an Irishman in all his years at Windy Hill?

The Western Bulldogs eek out a close one against North Melbourne, though the Roos pressed them all the way – and kudos to Mark Robinson for not using the mythical Shinboner Spirit to describe the effort. Can’t have been easy…  Dean Laidley should be a little worried about the form of Brent Harvey though…as am I. He’s killing my fantasy teams!

Daylight savings time has just ended and looks like the Eagles may have wound back their clocks further than one hour…try about three years! West Coast win big against Port Adelaide but relax Power fans – you may have lost the football game but you are still the toughest talking team in the whole comp!

Talking Heads (Media Street)

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Robert Walls in high definition may not be pretty but watching a full hour of One Week At A Time is no problem…

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…but Footy Classified? Can’t do it! The very sight of Craig Hutchison makes me scramble for the remote every time…

It has been with us for less than one week but already Channel Ten’s 24-hour sports venture, ONE, is getting a decent run on the plasma TV at HBF Central. And it was with great relief that the new Monday night AFL discussion show One Week At A Time made its debut. I say relief because without the pricey television goodness of Foxtel, the only AFL analysis program available to me during the week has been Footy Classified…which is not my cup of tea, to be honest.

Sure – the prospect of tuning in to see a casually dressed Robert Walls in high definition is not the most visually stunning image…but it made a nice change to have a panel partaking in an enjoyable hour of footy without a single hint of interruption, contrived provocation or wild accusation. It still needs some work, obviously, but after one airing, it already beats the shit out of cringing through Craig Hutchison and the Channel Nine hype machine. So call me ‘faint-hearted’…but I have no place for Footy Classified. Give me OWAAT or, if you are up late around Footy Classified time, try 30 Rock on Channel Seven. You’ll be much better for the experience…

Speaking of talking heads…have you seen the movie Watchmen? There is a character called Doctor Manhattan…he’s big, blue and can create duplicate physical versions of himself in order to perform more than one task at the same time. Well, Eddie McGuire obviously thinks he is the Doctor Manhattan of the AFL. All he needs to do is announce which ‘Eddie’ he is being at any certain time and we are expected to forget about all those other ‘Eddies’ out there – be it President Eddie or Media Eddie or Former Game Show Host Who Really Needs A New Game Show Eddie!

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Thankfully, unlike the various versions of Doctor Manhattan, the various versions of Eddie McGuire all choose to wear pants!

So, when Eddie floats the “Kevin Sheedy coaching Richmond by round four” theory after the Tigers were flogged by Carlton, it’s not poor form coming from an opposing club president because he’s not a president any more…it is Media Eddie talking. But when President Eddie frowns on speculation about Collingwood’s coaching position by people in the media (people just like Media Eddie), that’s ok too.

Um, is the line becoming blurry yet?…Well, stiff! Try telling him that he’s out of line and you can guarantee that one or more versions of Eddie will be after you . The only other guarantee we can make about this whole saga is it will end up in another Caroline Wilson article on The Eddies later this year! And it will probably include many parts of this article too

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Well well…don’t  Anna B and Andy D look pleased with themselves!

The Gold Coast now have a footy team…well, almost! The licence is ‘provisional‘ but Andy D and Anna B wouldn’t have put on such a flashy Gold Coast stylee show, signing contracts and smiling a lot, if it wasn’t going to go ahead, right? So if you are an AFL club, lock up your youngsters…especially if they are Queenslanders!

Now how is the League going to pay for GC17…and WS18 for that matter? The next media rights, of course! Andy D is already spruiking it up…big time. And don’t think that the massive interest created in last week’s AFL season opener won’t be used by Andy and friends with a view to milking as much cash as possible in the next rights deal. Well, last Thursday night’s hype-fest was more a result of good fortune with the Ben Cousins saga.

So unless the league plans an annual roll-out of previous Brownlow winners, straight out of rehab, to participate in the opening game of the year, we won’t experience the likes of last Thursday night again. And after the result of that game, it would be just as well…