Tag Archives: Mad Monday

When The Cats Go Marching In! (2009 AFL Grand Final)

septocemiabanner

PremierCats

Wow – Geelong are good at this cup-lifting thing! Looks like they’ve done it before…

Holy crap – what a day! A massive audience, a classic match and even the pre-match entertainment didn’t totally suck…well, until the Jersey Boys got involved! Yep, a limp-as-a-lettuce-leaf rendition of the national anthem – won’t that inspire to football masses to buy tickets to their crappy stage show!

NormChapman

Chappy deservedly wins Norm…just don’t ask me how he did it!

Anyway, back to the footy and on a wet, cold day at the ‘G, it was Geelong that found their way to the front when it mattered to win a second flag in three seasons. On the verge of two straight grand final catastrophes, the Cats scored three goals to nil in the final term to earn the ultimate reward for their sustained excellence and become a truly great outfit. Look out, Lions!

HayesYells

How would it feel to lead most of the way in a Grand Final and lose? Lenny Hayes pretty much sums it up…

One of these teams was always going to feel unfortunate to miss out on the great prize. Few could have predicted just how devastating defeat would become for the Saints…particularly when things quite easily could have gone their way had they capitalised on their opportunities early.

BustedGoddard

Broken collarbone, busted nose, dream destroyed…hard to imagine anybody feeling worse than Brendon Goddard must have after the siren!

If there is any consolation for the St Kilda faithful, it seems to lie with the hard-line stance of the coach looking to ensure his club strives to improve and bounce back in 2010. The popular Max Hudghton won’t be back but it will be interesting to see if anybody else joins him on the sidelines…like little twerp goal sneaks who wear number 44, for example.

RookeMobile

Max Rooke claims himself some new wheels…might come in handy this week during the celebrations! Wonder if his psychic told him about this as well?

But enough HBF-style hardcore analysis…it’s time to wind down after a long season that again defied all expectations (and defied logic at certain stages) and let our collective hairs down! Then, maybe, we can start worrying about who will be the team to beat in 2010. Until then, may all your Mondays be Mad and your blondes a little better looking than this one!


Advertisements

All Eyes On The Juddster! (Media Street)

JuddFinger

Visy ambassador Chris Judd reacts badly to Michael Rischitelli’s confession that he doesn’t recycle…

Two weeks ago, it was Buddy. Last week, it was Lloydy. This week…Chris Judd? For an alleged eye gouge? Not THE Chris Judd, surely! This can’t be true…must be a case of mistaken identity. Fev is the cause of all problems at the Blues, isn’t he? Must have been Fev! Or even that dancing guy of the same name that married Jennifer Lopez in 2001!

No, it’s true. Carlton captain Chris Judd has been busted for inexplicibly fiddling with the face of Brisbane Lion Michael Rischitelli during Saturday night’s elimination final! The Ruddster will be shattered…

Mr Judd will miss the first three rounds of 2010 unless he takes the early plea, reducing it down to two matches. But relax, football fans – not only is Judd eligible to win the Brownlow Medal this year and next, he can still attend football’s night of nights with his glamorous partner Rebecca Twigley. Forget the AFL tribunal…imagine the trouble he would have been in at home if they weren’t allowed to go!

TwigsJudd

No Brownlow Medal night? Juddy would be lucky to escape with a bloody nose if that ever happened…

Interesting to see whether the Blues challenge this decision as it appears the Match Review Panel have not left much room for them to move. The incident was listed as a ‘misconduct offence in that he made unreasonable and unnecessary contact to the face’ and assessed as intentional conduct (three points), low impact (one point) and high contact (two points). With those parameters in mind, no doubt it was intentional and the face certainly falls in the ‘high’ category. Unless they can downgrade ‘low’ impact to ‘barely any’, I can’t see how Judd can beat this one.

ShutUpJudd

That’s enough Chris…No need to say any more…Ok, you need to stop…Just shut up now…GOD, MAN – WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! STOP TALKING ALREADY!!!

What certainly works against him are comments made the day after the gut-wrenching loss to the Lions where he denied eye gouging Rischitelli. For reasons that cannot be explained, except for an early start on Mad Monday festivities, the normally measured Judd revealed he was aiming for some type of martial arts style pressure point on the guy’s face! Yeah, that helped clear things up.

Whether he was fair dinkum or not, it was probably the dumbest thing I’ve heard this year. And now we have knob-ends like Craig Hutchison chasing martial arts experts for comment and floating theories about how it could have been lethal. Nice work!

hong-kong-phooey-gal-431

When the going gets tough, Judd’s super tough…with a Hong Kong Phooey chop!

Something else that would work against any potential challenge is that incident back in 2007 where then-Eagle Judd was initially charged with eye gouging Campbell Brown in a match down in Tasmania. After some ‘generous’ evidence from Brown, Judd walked free. The Hawk hard man appeared to abide by the strict rules of the ‘player code’ on this occasion, though it certainly doesn’t apply in any incident involving Matthew Lloyd.

CampbellFaking

Here is Chris Judd doing ‘nothing’ to Campbell Brown’s eye in 2007.

Maybe Judd threatened Brown with some pressure point action…or did he use the Jedi mind trick?

ObiWanMindTrick

If Judd gets off this charge, we will know that the Force is with him!

Rough Start But It Sure Got Better! (Septocemia – 2009 AFL Finals Series)

septocemiabanner

SlowRocca

The slow motion footage, the wanky opera music, the pissweak attempt to make Anthony Rocca appear graceful. Yep, must be finals time!

September action is finally under way! There was a bit of an ugly beginning on Friday night but after that we saw plenty of riveting footy action that made sitting through rubbish games like round 22 West Coast v Richmond all worthwhile. Typically in the first week of the finals, the results play out according to ladder position. The top two sides win through to the preliminary final and the seventh and eighth teams are eliminated. Boring! But this year…no just kidding! It all went to plan but it was far from boring.

RiewoldtIce

St Kilda will now encase Nick Riewoldt’s entire body in ice for two weeks to ensure he is right for preliminary final day!

Runaway leaders during the home-and-away season, St Kilda were destined for failure according to Dermott Brereton, the Bogan Football Oracle himself. If Brereton’s ‘theory’ held such weight then we are screwed this year because each of the top four teams have not experienced Hawthorn-style sustained success in the past 45 to 50 years. Shall we just not award the premiership cup this season because Dermie feels none of the clubs are worthy enough? It’s not just about culture – class goes a long way too; Nick Riewoldt and the Saints proved that on Sunday. This also leads us to the Cats…

LingWins

The media wanted the red, white and blue to triumph on Saturday. Well, it did….but only in the form of football’s favourite ranga, Mr Cameron Ling!

Geelong’s performance in the other qualifying final not only shattered the Western Bulldogs but ruined the football media’s fevered pursuit of a drought breaking premiership for the Dogs. There was no doubt that the preference for Saturday’s game was success for the ‘sexier’ storyline of the Doggies. Poised to make history! This might be their year! And Channel Ten spent the entire pre-match playing the Footsray violin and barely recognising the fact that the Cats have their own shot at creating some history going on this September.

FootscrayViolin

The 1954 Footscray premiership team pass the mantle to the cuurent day players. Didn’t realise the Doggies were already in the Grand Final?! Well, congratulations…I guess.

Don’t get me wrong – that feature made for good television. Really good television. It would have been perfect as part of the pre-game for the 2009 Grand Final…if the Bulldogs were actually playing in it! But the Dogs were the third-placed team playing a club that, believe it or not, actually finished higher than them on the ladder…and has been the best performed team for the past three years. The hacks had Geelong written off, forgotten and ignored…that will be hard to do now they are in the prelim!

ThirstyKnights

Matthew Knights would have been looking for something a little stronger to drink as the night wore on!

While the beaten Doggies and Pies live to fight another day, two teams are in the midst of conducting their alcohol-laced post-mortems after being eliminated on the weekend. The first team to be shown the door was Essendon…and it sure wasn’t pretty! Already undermanned and missing their first three ruck options, Essendon coach Matthew Knights gambled at the last minute by leaving out the only bloke they had over 200cms tall for ‘a runner’, which ended up being an Irish kiddie who cannot even spell Sherrin…let alone drop one onto his foot to kick a goal from the goal line!

Actually, they looked ok early until they coughed up a goal late in the first quarter…and then another 22 goals for the rest of the night! Reports of involvement by Bombers players in an altercation at some Adelaide nightclub proved to be false. For the second time that night, it seems that they were merely innocent bystanders!

LionsSing

You never see Jono Brown this pumped up! Either they have just pulled off a miracle comeback or Cold Chisel have reformed!!!

The Bombers were joined in post-season shenanigans by the Brisbane Lions Carlton? WHAT? How did this happen? The Blues were home for all money with a five-goal lead early in the final quarter but half an hour later, their season was over. Brisbane completed a true football miracle which resulted in euphoric scenes all around the Gabba, including some great footage of Prime Minister Kevin Rudd clapping, cheering and pretending to know every word to the Lions theme song…when it was clear that he had absolutely no idea!

HappyRuddster

“We are Brisbane, la la la, hmm hmm something, blue and gold! We are good and stuff, la la la la, yeah wow hey something old!

No doubt the Ruddstar will make the trek down to the MCG for Brisbane’s semi final clash with the Western Bulldogs on Friday night…

The Games:

QuinnHowler

Anytime you can drop your only ruckman from a do-or-die game to bring in an Irishman who had never played the sport twelve months ago…you have to do it, right?

Adelaide are damn scary! They win their first final for a few years and could barely have looked more impressive in the process…plus they have a couple of key additions to come for the Collingwood game. Essendon did well enough to make the finals but lost more games than they won during the year so it’s fitting that they bow out at this stage. They probably wish that they weren’t exposed this badly in prime time though!

PissedDogs

Is it any coincidence that the only time Brad Johnson does not seem to have a smile on his face, Jason Akermanis appears to be running his mouth? Gee, good luck next year!

Geelong did exactly what it needed to do in order to qualify for a third straight preliminary final. How they prepare over the next two weeks will be vital as they aim for another grand final berth…well, they’ve had a bit of practice at it! The Doggies failed to deliver when it counted but Rodney Eade still believes they can go all the way. First things first – try starting with Aker’s old mob on Friday night! They’re coming…by whatever means necessary!

JuddFinger

Not sure what Chris Judd is up to here but I’m sure it’s all pure and sweet and innocent. It’s Chris Judd after all…

Whatever Vossy said, it must have bordered on genius – it was one of the best alright! The Brisbane Lions kicked the last six goals of the match to storm to victory, leaving Carlton a long off-season to figure out what the heck just happened to them. But hey, at least Brendan Fevola tried really hard for the entire game! Will we see this more often? Unlikely…

RiewoldtCelebrates

If any team other than St Kilda wants to win the flag, they have to find a way to stop this bloke!!!

The Saints passed their first finals pressure test with flying colourshope Ross Lyon enjoys his break! Like the Dogs, the Pies still think they can win it but they need to beat the rampant Crows with two less days to prepare. Scott Pendlebury’s season could be over while you wonder whether they will persist with the Anthony Rocca Experience. He did lead the team with two goals…he also managed team-high stats for pulling mean faces, talking smack and unnecessary displays of force which result in nothing of substance.

Look Out Folks…It’s Trade Week! (Six Months Of Silliness)

The Crows broke out their best sandwich board for B&F night…

Well, season 2008 is done! All the goofy Mad Monday costumes have been packed away for another year and the last Sherrin has been booted in anger…at least until pre-season training kicks off. And that is only a matter of weeks away for the bottom eight clubs!

More importantly, all the best-and-fairest winners have been named. Just in case you have been wondering who claimed the big prize at your club, here is the honour roll:

Brett Deledio (right) wins at Richmond while Nathan Brown (left)…um, is absent from the leaderboard. So why is his picture even there?

So, without any footy games to watch (and yes, the International Rules series DOES NOT count!), what do we do for the next six months? Talk footy non-stop, of course! And what better place to start than the maximum-talk, minimum-action of AFL trade week. Will this year be any different? Probably not.

Most interest would have involved the seemingly restless Daniel Kerr but he is now an Eagle for life…like he was going to leave anyways! But the whereabouts of players such as Ryan O’Keefe, Andrew Lovett, Daniel Harris, Mark Seaby and many, many others will be determined this week. Some will be finalised by lunchtime today, others will have to wait until 1:59pm on Friday. Let a full-on week of rumour, heresay and player manager waffling commence…and here’s hoping your team can land a big fish!

Hawkmania! (The Lost Weekend)

The Hawks touch down in Tassie…no doubt it was a day full of cheers, beers and jokes about ‘maps’…

Hawthorn’s premiership celebration tour has taken to the air, crossed the Bass Strait and landed in Tasmania! The Apple Isle has a unique sponsorship arrangement with the club and the Hawks delayed the traditional post-season Mad Monday craziness to show off the silverware in Hobart and Launceston. The club president/master spruiker, a number of coaches and players paraded the cup to a host of happy Taswegians; including local product Grant Birchall, who Kennett delighted in revealing to all that he gave his two front teeth for Tassie during the game. At least his friends will know what to get him for Christmas this year…

Full credit to the Hawks for ensuring they included Tasmania in the celebrations – it might have been a little pricey but that would not be a worry for them at this point in time. And to get down there so quickly after the win…considering that many of the players would be feeling a little dusty after a massive Sunday! This included a monster turn-out at Glenferrie with an estimated 20,000 fans in attendance…though we doubt that the terminally-sour Don Scott was there (or within a 100km radius of the place!)

The League, of course, would also have been pleased with the effort Hawthorn have gone to in Tasmania – and secretly wishing this would be enough to appease the locals and make them forget about launching a bid for a Tasmanian team in the AFL…which has zero chance of being approved by the AFL. Um…no! It only seems to be making them more determined – Andy D will be thrilled.

Who would want to watch the newly-crowned premiers belt out the club song in the rooms straight after the game? Answer: Everybody…except Channel Seven!

The champs now head back to the mainland to collect the keys to the city of Hawthorn and, more than likely, belt out the club song another 20 or so times! Which brings us to the telecast of the grand final on Saturday. Overall, it was more than satisfactory – the pre-match entertainment had its traditional array of eye-raising moments but the usual impulse to switch off the TV didn’t kick in this year. That must be a good sign…though not everybody felt the same way!

After a seven year “hiatus”, Channel Seven did a pretty good job with the game telecast and despite having an over-crowded commentary team, managed to integrate them all without flooding the airwaves with useless chatter. But just when you thought that Seven had ticked all the boxes for the day, they stumbled badly with two minutes left in the telecast when it became apparent that they would not show the Hawks singing the club song in the rooms.

NEWSFLASH: We interrupt this broadcast of Hawthorn winning the flag to announce…that Hawthorn have won the flag!

And sure enough, after teasing viewers by showing live footage of the Hawthorn boys gathering in a circle to belt out the song, they cut away to the news. The network have been bagged all year for leaving out the winning team’s song on their Sunday game telecasts and then faced with the decision on the biggest day on the footy calendar, they stuffed it up again! Maybe next year, huh? Or the year after? Um, 2011?

The Cats will be back next year…let’s hope Matthew Scarlett’s hair also returns in 2009!

Meanwhile, probably in a dingy pub at the gateway to the Bellarine Peninsula, the post-mortem for Geelong continues. The place must still be in complete shock at the loss and the players are either totally blaming themselves or sticking up for those teammates who didn’t fire on Saturday. But the Cats are talking redemption in 2009, which they are well entitled to do, and seeing this missed opportunity as a mere blip on the radar as they navigate the path to football greatness.

A good analogy can always come in handy when everything goes to tripe but Frank’s Costa’s attempt to relate Don Bradman’s final innings to Geelong’s plight doesn’t quite workthe greatness of the Don was undisputed when he fell for a duck in his final knock and we don’t feel that Geelong are in that position at all. This is probably the equivalent of the Cats whacking a quick-fire double-century in 2007 before copping a ferocious Harold Larwood-style bouncer from the Hawks that sent them back to the pavilion! Mark Thompson’s boys need to respond in 2009 if they want to be categorised with the Bradman-like greatness of the three-peat Brisbane Lions.

Now that footy is over with for 2008…Half Back Flanker has no idea what to do! There is trade week coming up…and it looks like there could be some real activity this year rather than the usual round of 100-plus rumours that result in less than ten actual trades. So we will keep an eye on the events of trade week and see which big names will reject Collingwood again find greener pastures.

Um, Vossy…Can We Have A Quick Chat? (Media Street)

The first Monday following the final round of the AFL season is renowned for some crazy antics from eight clubs worth of tired, emotional and thirsty footballers. Take Brendan Fevola, for example, who was spotted in Federation Square in Melbourne wearing a pink nighty, complete with sex toy penis dangling from the front. It was all part of Carlton’s Mad Monday celebrations, so the Herald Sun’s “frock shock” is a bit rich…and you will probably see Fev wearing that exact same outfit for the Grand Final edition of the Footy Show anyway!

But it was a different type of madness up in Brisbane when word filtered through that Lions coach and AFL legend Leigh Matthews pulled the pin on his ten year stint up north. The Lions tried to talk him out of leaving the position but Matthews sensed that the time was right for him walk away and start a new chapter in his life…one that undoubtedly involves flogging affordable house-and-land packages to battlers everywhere. But he leaves with his reputation intact as a highly influential AFL figure in Queensland who moulded the once-struggling Lions into a triple-premiership footballing powerhouse.

And while the timing was perfect for Matthews, it probably wasn’t the best for Jonathan Brown. Not only was he probably looking forward to getting on the cans yesterday for Mad Monday, he was just announcing that he had signed on to stay with Brisbane after months of speculation over his future with the Lions. Browny was forced to stress that his decision was not influenced by Leigh’s decision to walk after rumblings that his pragmatic coaching style was wearing thin with the players. But you can tell that Browny was not impressed that he was facing the media on Mad Monday instead of wearing a pink nighty himself!

Leigh looks relaxed. Browny looks like a man who had a huge Mad Monday planned but is now stuck in this dumb press conference while his mates are getting pissed without him!

Naturally, thoughts of a replacement for Lethal Leigh have turned to one man, and one man only, Michael Voss! Brisbane’s triple-premiership captain had signed on for an assistant coaching role with the West Coast Eagles but will be given permission to speak with Brisbane over the freshly vacated role…and you can guarantee that the Lions want to talk to him!

Of course, Aker has had his say on the Leigh Matthews-Michael Voss coaching issue and declared himself just as qualified as Vossy and wonders why he hasn’t received a call from Brisbane yet. Can somebody tell Aker that ‘dickhead’ is not a certified coaching qualification?

Other Monday madness…non-alcohol related: