Tag Archives: Max Rooke

When The Cats Go Marching In! (2009 AFL Grand Final)

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PremierCats

Wow – Geelong are good at this cup-lifting thing! Looks like they’ve done it before…

Holy crap – what a day! A massive audience, a classic match and even the pre-match entertainment didn’t totally suck…well, until the Jersey Boys got involved! Yep, a limp-as-a-lettuce-leaf rendition of the national anthem – won’t that inspire to football masses to buy tickets to their crappy stage show!

NormChapman

Chappy deservedly wins Norm…just don’t ask me how he did it!

Anyway, back to the footy and on a wet, cold day at the ‘G, it was Geelong that found their way to the front when it mattered to win a second flag in three seasons. On the verge of two straight grand final catastrophes, the Cats scored three goals to nil in the final term to earn the ultimate reward for their sustained excellence and become a truly great outfit. Look out, Lions!

HayesYells

How would it feel to lead most of the way in a Grand Final and lose? Lenny Hayes pretty much sums it up…

One of these teams was always going to feel unfortunate to miss out on the great prize. Few could have predicted just how devastating defeat would become for the Saints…particularly when things quite easily could have gone their way had they capitalised on their opportunities early.

BustedGoddard

Broken collarbone, busted nose, dream destroyed…hard to imagine anybody feeling worse than Brendon Goddard must have after the siren!

If there is any consolation for the St Kilda faithful, it seems to lie with the hard-line stance of the coach looking to ensure his club strives to improve and bounce back in 2010. The popular Max Hudghton won’t be back but it will be interesting to see if anybody else joins him on the sidelines…like little twerp goal sneaks who wear number 44, for example.

RookeMobile

Max Rooke claims himself some new wheels…might come in handy this week during the celebrations! Wonder if his psychic told him about this as well?

But enough HBF-style hardcore analysis…it’s time to wind down after a long season that again defied all expectations (and defied logic at certain stages) and let our collective hairs down! Then, maybe, we can start worrying about who will be the team to beat in 2010. Until then, may all your Mondays be Mad and your blondes a little better looking than this one!


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They Didn’t Go Marching In But The Saints Are There!(Septocemia – 2009 AFL Finals Series)

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RiewoldtGoal

Saint Nick’s knee holds up long enough for him to do this…

How about that! In a finals series that has already delivered high drama and some classic finishes, we got another oneThe Saints are in the grand final…but they were this freakin’ close to a shock exit. And if it wasn’t for inspirational skipper Nick Riewoldt, they wouldn’t have made it. It really is that simple. That dodgy knee of his is more valuable than gold right now!

You just knew it was going to end in heartbreak for one of these traditionally down-trodden clubs…but recovering from this will be a massive challenge for Rodney Eade’s men. That loss was so harsh that I can’t even find a way to make fun of loudmouth lair Jason Akermanis! As much as I love doing it, it just feels cruel right now, wrong even…

CooneyShattered

The power of the red beard was not quite enough for Adam Cooney and the Dogs.

The Dogs dominated the opening quarter and could have built a more than handy lead if not for a couple of squandered opportunities. As a result, the Saints were able to stay in touch and slowly work their way to the front in the third term. Down by five points at three-quarter time, Brad Johnson put the Doggies back in front but it was the other captain that willed his side into the big one next Saturday afternoon.

Whether Johnson returns next season is yet to be determined but it would be a real boost for a wounded club to have that guy back next year.

RocketComposed

The hacks have quizzed Rocket every week about recruiting Barry Hall for 2010…imagine if David Schwartz asked him now!

And now we go through it all again tonight with the Cats and Pies and thank you Channel Ten…we can see it LIVE,  baby!  No Channel Seven again in 2009 so no more garden makeovers, no more tasty recipes, No Johanna Griggs and no watching Dr Harry feeding the fish…it’s finals action as it happens!!!

SchwartzDisgrace

Last night was Channel Seven’s grand final…and didn’t they deliver some high quality family fun!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Second Preliminary Final – MCG, 7:30pm (local): Geelong v Collingwood (TEN)

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Matthew Scarlett is hoping to keep his hair for one more week before launching into some post-season stupidity!

Fresh from a nice relaxing week off, Geelong will be buoyed by the inclusion of two vital cogs and now appear to have their strongest available team. Steve Johnson and his dodgy hip will be a bit of an unknown quantity so they need somebody like Tom Hawkins to get on the scoreboard. Cameron Ling is not feeling the pressure now but that might change if Dane Swan gets a few early touches!

Geelong’s Dodgy Headline of the Week: Ling Primed For Ding Dong With Swan! Hmmm…Ling Ding, Swan Dong?

RejoiceEd

Settle Ed, it was just a semi final! Imagine if they actually won the flag!!! Actually, don’t do that…I dread the very thought.

It would have been difficult to forget about last Saturday night’s miracle win but, more importantly, Collingwood need to forget about what happened in round three! They have improved since then, says no-pressure Mick. How Scott Pendlebury’s broken leg has improved enough for him to play is beyond me…we’ll see.

Collingwood”s Dodgy Headline of the Week: Goldsack Wants Crack at Stevie J! All that’s missing is the defender reference so they could use the words back, crack and sack!

CATS by 19

Don’t Call It A Replay! (The Lost Weekend)

It’s a rematch of 1989…without Gazza senior…and Chris Langford…and everybody else who played in 1989!

Well, now we might finally have ourselves a contest! The two raging hot favourites qualified for the 2008 AFL Grand Final after claiming victory in the preliminary finals and the two best teams over the year will fight it out for the flag. Sure – some footy boffins were shouting “1999” from the treetops last week in an attempt to keep everybody interested but there is a darn good reason why Carlton’s upset win over Essendon was so special…shit like that only happens once in a lifetime! But a select number of media types were not only floating theories that an earth-shattering upset could happen again so soon, but twice on the same weekend. Huh?

So forget talk of ’99…now it’s all about 1989! But, please…it’s a rematch, of sorts, from 1989 but it’s not a damn replay! And it’s not a tryst either…isn’t a tryst a meeting between two lovers? How does that even make sense?

While the result of the Cats and Dogs clash on Friday night had a sense of inevitability, at least it was somewhat entertaining as a contest. Saturday night, on the other, produced a total stink-fest with Hawthorn embarrassing St Kilda and bringing the remarkable career of Robert Harvey to a sad end. But while there has yet to be a classic finals encounter this September, the results properly reflect the performance of the teams over the whole season – Geelong clearly the best, Hawthorn’s rise to legitimate challenger, the Dogs much improved but just a shade below the top two and St Kilda fortunate to finish fourth and exposed as pretenders by the two best sides in the comp.

Expect to see the Channel Nine helicopter flying over Buddy’s house tomorrow morning to check the status of his wrist!

And now we can all look forward to one massive week of full-on Septocemia! Brownlow Medal madness (could be a busy night, Catters!), grand final lunches, throwbacks to 1989selection headaches, hourly injury updates and death-by-analysis! And we love every minute of it, don’t we!

Well, not always…not when supposedly intelligent football minds ask dopey question after dopey question i.e. Tim Watson pointlessly quizzing Mark Thompson as to which team he would prefer to play next week after Geelong’s win on Friday night. The fact that Bomber Thompson is a three-time premiership teammate probably saved Watson the indignity of being labelled a f@#$&%g idiot live on national TV. And even then, it must’ve taken a whole lotta restraint!

Um…we’d prefer to play Bendigo, actually! Nobody ever answers that stupid question…ever! So why f@#$&n bother asking?

FRIDAY NIGHT

Doggies fans will be filthy about this for a very, very, very long time!

First Preliminary Final – Geelong 12.11.83 def. Western Bulldogs 7.12.54

There was no repeat of the 1999 shocker as logic ruled on Friday night…well, apart from one glaring umpiring decision! This didn’t rob the Doggies, mind you, so comparisons with Wayne Harmes in 1979 lack a bit of perspective! But it did kill off any hope of them pushing the defending premiers to the absolute limit.

What cost them was poor kicking at goal in the second half… and the hospital pass that set up Brad Johnson for the Max Rooke contest wasn’t too crash hot either. But with the Doggies closing in on Geelong in the third term, a series of missed shots at goal from Nathan Eagleton, Will Minson and Mitch Hahn cost them dearly. Particularly when the Cats stung them on the rebound for Cam Mooney to score, prompting this Brady Bunch-inspired graphic display that captured the moment perfectly!

Here’s the story…of a man named Rodney..who was beaten by some very lovely Cats!

How the Bulldogs respond to their stinging loss will be an interesting storyline in 2009 as they try to back up their top-four finish. But for the Cats, who don’t seem to like these grand final qualifiers all that much, they are back in the big dance and look primed for back-to-back flags. Unless…

SATURDAY NIGHT

We knew Luke Hodge was tough but he went old school crazy tough to lead his Hawks into the GF!

Second Preliminary Final – Hawthorn 18.10.118 def. St Kilda 9.10.64

Hawthorn made a mess of St Kilda – the match was effectively over at half time as the Hawks proved to be too tough and too committed for the Saints. While the result would indicate that they are in fantastic shape heading into the grand final, they do have a number of slight injury concerns. And one of them is Buddy, so expect a dramatic week at Hawks training.

St Kilda may wonder why they have attracted so much criticism for a club that finished fourth but last night demonstrated exactly why they cop it. Yes, they did finish fourth…but it has clearly been a three-horse race since May! With an alleged ‘star-studded’ list, they have yet to make a grand final since 1997 and in the latest chance to go one further, they were kicking consolation goals ten minutes into the third quarter!

And thus ends any hopes of a fairytale finish for Robert Harvey. The curtain has been dropping on Harvey’s stellar 21-year career for two months now but it is well and truly done with now. And this might be the trigger for the Saints to look to their youth in order to maximise their talent and go to the next level. So with the departure of the much-loved Harvey, does this mean the end for one particular annoying little twerp?

Goodbye Harvs…you deserved a better send-off!

Goodbye Milne…you don’t! And yes, we are trying to retire you!

We Can Book That Overseas Holiday Now! (The Lost Weekend)

Cheer up Jared Brennan…it’s not that bad. You only have one more game to play and then you can go completely nuts!!!

After looking headed for a grandstand finish to the home-and-away season, there will be no dramatic ending next weekend after results on Get Some AFL India round eliminated those hopeful clubs from breaking into the top eight. So now the Lions, Tigers and Blues can officially give up their finals dreams and start making plans for the post-season footy trip! The only real intrigue left in the final round is which team will be fortunate enough to finish in fourth spot and face the prospect of being crushed by Geelong in the first qualifying final!

And that match may well be a repeat performance of yesterday’s clash down at Geelong…which was won by the virtually unstoppable Cats. While Geelong were mighty impressive, North Melbourne put in a pretty good effort themselves and David Hale’s eight goals was one of the best individual efforts of the season. So if they do meet again in two week’s time, Hale just needs to kick another five or six and the Roos will be right in it…

Sam Power feels the full force of…Max Power!!!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Finally, after years of waiting, those brainy sub-editors finally get their ‘Hahn six-pack’ moment!!!

SATURDAY

Wow…Fremantle are finally getting a little tired of Jeff Farmer’s shit!!! Shame it’s about four years too late…

And from this point forward, Melbourne were pretty much out of the running!

Ed teases young Sydney supporters by allowing them a brief touch of the footy before snatching it away again. Classy…

Jono Brown wonders whether now is the best time to tell the boys about his ‘super deal’…that’ll cheer them up!

SUNDAY

Nice banner for Robert Harvey…but maybe a touch big for him to keep at home…

The locals would have loved seeing one hundred goals for Buddy but had to settle with a farewell for Michael Braun!

Round 21 – Get Some AFL India!

Get ready for Mad Mondays in Mumbai!

It’s the middle of August and we are on the verge of another finals series. The administrative structure of the new GC17 franchise is (very) slowly being pieced together and the League has it’s eye on the promised land of young, impressionable families out in Western Sydney; just waiting for a major football code to win over their hearts, minds and wallets.

So…what is the logical step to take as we head towards an expanded national competition? You guessed it…play preseason games in India! Of course, we have already held a preseason cup match in Dubai this year where the big-wigs at Toyota and Air Emirates got to see how a little of their pocket change was being spent. Let’s hope they were impressed…

But it appears that there will be two preseason games held in India next year, most likely in Mumbai and New Dehli, as well as a match already organised in South Africa. And the clubs are lobbying heavily to be involved! Of course, there is no real danger of our indigenous game taking off overseas but what would happen if the AFL went global? What teams would leave our fine shores? And where would they go? Let’s find out as we embark on Get Some AFL India round!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Now that the Dogs are dabbling in high-altitude training, they would gain a nice ‘home’ advantage if they played in Nepal!

Telstra Stadium, Melbourne – 7:40pm (local): Western Bulldogs v Essendon (SEVEN)

DOGS by 41: Rodney Eade says that they are not paying attention to Essendon’s injury woes…but we doubt the addition of ‘old what’s-his-name‘ and ‘that young bloke‘ will be worrying the Dogs too much!

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

The finals-starved Tigers might take America by storm – they could play their home games in New York…on 9th Street, of course!

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Richmond v Fremantle (TEN)

TIGERS by 36: The Dockers are too busy working out who will chair off their numerous retiring veterans to be bothered with game plans!

Forget Debt Demolition…maybe the Demons relocating to Ireland is what Jim Stynes has in mind all along!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide– 2:40pm (local): Port Adelaide v Melbourne (FOX)

POWER by 18: Dean Bailey may have some inside knowledge on Port Adelaide but the Power also have some info on Melbourne…like, they have won three games all year because they are not very good!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Viva Bris Vegas! Who wouldn’t travel to watch their team play away games if the Lions moved to Las Vegas?

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:10pm (local): Brisbane v Carlton (FOX)

LIONS by 19: Brisbane to stay alive for another week while the Blues will start looking ahead to 2009, when they add Daniel Kerrand Jeff White…and lots of other players that they shouldn’t be able to afford!

Collingwood are more than welcome to relocate to Dubai. They can start their own comp, win the flag every year and leave the rest of us alone…sounds fine to us!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Collingwood v Sydney (TEN)

SWANS by 25: This is more hope than logic…but we will back Paul Roos and his stable Swans to cock up the finals hopes of the confident Pies.

SUNDAY

Germany would be a great fit for the Cats…plenty of calves blood for Max Rooke and an endless supply of ‘piss, pork and porn’ for Billy Brownless!

Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 1:10pm (local): Geelong v North Melbourne (FOX)

CATS by 48: Forget the challenge from the Roos – the biggest threat to Geelong’s flag tilt would be if half the team ate a dodgy bratwurst!

Keen to gain any advantage, the Crows will base themselves in one of the world’s most intimidating and hostile environments…yep, they’ll just stay put in Adelaide!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): St Kilda v Adelaide (SEVEN)

CROWS by 14: St Kilda’s farewell to Robert Harvey will turn sour despite the ‘miracle’ recovery from Stephen Milne…the real miracle being that he made it back to Melbourne at all!

Paris, Rome, Los Angeles…the Hawks would relocate to whichever destination made Buddy Franklin happy!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): West Coast v Hawthorn (FOX)

HAWKS by 21: Hawks to win but with Lance Franklin on 94 goals, hopefully the Eagles don’t let him kick too many…we want the Buddy v Fev shootout in Round 22!