Tag Archives: Michael Braun

Round 22 – Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse!

Well played, Rama. Well played…

The final round is here! The end of the road is in sight for those clubs not quite or nowhere near good enough to play finals football…and they are all merely hours away from going completely nuts!!! But don’t get too wild, fellas – particularly if you have a couple of priors, if you get our drift…

For the eight teams who know they will be going around next week, there is a little bit of interest in the results this weekend…but only if North Melbourne slip up on Saturday afternoon. That would leave fourth spot up for grabs to the remaining teams below them in the eight but the Roos are playing a disinterested Port Adelaide so it’s hard too see that happening.

This weekend is also about saying goodbye to those loyal servants who have battled hard for a decade or more and have little or nothing left to give. But as well as the wily veterans, we also bid farewell to those frustrating players who clearly have talent but deficiencies in other areas (on and/or off field) meaning that their time at your club is almost up. Yes, we could be looking at you Alan Didak; and we might be looking at you too, Andrew Lovett. But, we are definitely looking at you, Jeff Farmer!

So, with those players in mind, we look forward to Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse round!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Perhaps Fremantle will let Mark Johnson wear his old Essendon jumper in his final game tonight!

Subiaco, Perth – 6:40pm (local): Fremantle v Collingwood (SEVEN)

PIES by 41: Whatever players Fremantle do have left, they won’t be good enough to combat The Prestigiacomo Factor!

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Shannon Grant will give the game away to pursue other interests…like getting pissed at golf days!

MCG, Melbourne – 1:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Port Adelaide (FOX)

ROOS by 56: Port will only have one player that gives a shit about this game…Dean Brogan! And he can’t win matches on his own…

No wonder Michael Braun retired after last week’s home game…he doesn’t want his final match to be a flogging down at Geelong!

Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 2:10pm (local): Geelong v West Coast (TEN)

CATS by 68: Sounds like that drug problem at the Eagles has flared up again…John Worsfold thinks his side can beat Geelong!!! Huh?

Nathan Bassett says goodbye to Adelaide and hello to insulin!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide– 4:40pm (local): Adelaide v Western Bulldogs (FOX)

CROWS by 18: Wouldn’t it be funny if the Crows let Jason Porplyzia be captain and he dislocated his shoulder at the coin toss! It could happen…

SATURDAY NIGHT

Surely, Spida Everitt will give it away now…he looks like he’s 55 years old!

SCG, Sydney – 7:10pm (local): Sydney v Brisbane (FOX)

LIONS by 19: Brisbane feel that complacency stopped them from making the finals…which probably means they will fire up for a game that doesn’t matter!

Will Shane Crawford retire this year? Expect an announcement soon…probably from a dancing, semi-naked Crawf during the grand final edition of the Footy Show!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Hawthorn v Carlton (TEN)

HAWKS by 25: Now remember kids, you have to run onto the field when Buddy and/or Fev kicks 100 goals…big uncle Tony says it’s ok!!!

SUNDAY

Come on Russell, let Adem Yze go!!! He has to leave now

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Melbourne v Richmond (SEVEN)

TIGERS by 14: Richmond are back in their rightful place…ninth place, that is! But if they keep moving on players such as Greg Tivendale, they might do the unthinkable and climb higher next year. 

Why would anyone get rid of Damien Peverill? Look, he’s such a good sport…

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 4:40pm (local): Essendon v St Kilda (FOX)

SAINTS by 21: St Kilda should keep a close eye on how Essenedon farewell their batch of retirees…because they will have to do the same to Robert Harvey very, very soon – probably next weekend!

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We Can Book That Overseas Holiday Now! (The Lost Weekend)

Cheer up Jared Brennan…it’s not that bad. You only have one more game to play and then you can go completely nuts!!!

After looking headed for a grandstand finish to the home-and-away season, there will be no dramatic ending next weekend after results on Get Some AFL India round eliminated those hopeful clubs from breaking into the top eight. So now the Lions, Tigers and Blues can officially give up their finals dreams and start making plans for the post-season footy trip! The only real intrigue left in the final round is which team will be fortunate enough to finish in fourth spot and face the prospect of being crushed by Geelong in the first qualifying final!

And that match may well be a repeat performance of yesterday’s clash down at Geelong…which was won by the virtually unstoppable Cats. While Geelong were mighty impressive, North Melbourne put in a pretty good effort themselves and David Hale’s eight goals was one of the best individual efforts of the season. So if they do meet again in two week’s time, Hale just needs to kick another five or six and the Roos will be right in it…

Sam Power feels the full force of…Max Power!!!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Finally, after years of waiting, those brainy sub-editors finally get their ‘Hahn six-pack’ moment!!!

SATURDAY

Wow…Fremantle are finally getting a little tired of Jeff Farmer’s shit!!! Shame it’s about four years too late…

And from this point forward, Melbourne were pretty much out of the running!

Ed teases young Sydney supporters by allowing them a brief touch of the footy before snatching it away again. Classy…

Jono Brown wonders whether now is the best time to tell the boys about his ‘super deal’…that’ll cheer them up!

SUNDAY

Nice banner for Robert Harvey…but maybe a touch big for him to keep at home…

The locals would have loved seeing one hundred goals for Buddy but had to settle with a farewell for Michael Braun!

Wow…Imagine If Barry Hall Actually Hit The Guy! (Media Street)

Will Bazza get the chance to smack another footy player in the head ever again?

The Big Bad Bustling Barry era is in danger of coming to a sad and sorry end. The new and improved Barry Hall that led Sydney to a memorable, drought-breaking flag in 2005 has had a shocking 2008 and his future in the game appears to be in doubt. So…what the hell has happened to the big thuggish oaf now? Here is the wrap of all the Barry Hall news from the past couple of days:

“I wish that Hally would take out his frustrations on Nick Davis…that would solve two of my biggest problems at the one time!

In non-Bazza (and therefore not that important) news:

Justin Koschitzke just bought himself a new t-shirt!

Scoreboard! (The Lost Weekend)

Oh no! I’ve done a Nathan Brown and celebrated a win…what a dickhead!!!

What is with these footballers! Last week it was Richmond’s Nathan Brown who thought his team had won a drawn game…and yesterday it seemed that half the North Melbourne team had launched into the second verse of the club song before realising that they had finished level with Sydney! Dean Laidley actually thought his side had lost…let’s hope he didn’t break too many objects in the coaches box before he found out they had two competition points!

But if you ask Paul Roos’ wife, it should have been the Swans celebrating after Michael Firritto laid a finger on what would have been a Brett Kirk match-winner in the final minute. But Roosy himself is happy to move on without calling for the use of technology or an extra pair of eyes on the goal line. Besides, he needs to work on finding a way for his side to kick more than eight goals when they play at the Telstra Dome! But at least Adam Goodes is playing well again

Hey, we managed to find two winners in the other games yesterday:

A quick stroll down media street for some news: