Tag Archives: one hundred goals

That Whole Second Sydney Team Idea Sounds Wonderful! (Media Street)

And the crowd goes mild! Are these the scenes that will greet the Western Sydney Whatevers in 2012?

The Herald Sun have found themselves a new work experience kiddie…Andrew Demetriou! The League supremo thought he might just publish his own thoughts on the controversial expansion plans for western Sydney – mainly that everything is fine and dandy, thank you very much! The League feels that the paltry crowd figure for the Swans final match on Saturday night is far from disastrous and it is just proof that a second team is required up there to help boost interest in the code.

They certainly need to do something. Half Back Flanker was actually in western Sydney last Saturday and the interest in the match, from what we could tell, was virtually nil! A low profile opponent in North Melbourne, no ads on TV, bugger all in the press and the coldest September weekend in ages all conspired against a decent crowd. The AFL is responsible for promoting the game and it felt like their tactic was to ignore the game altogether in the hope that the Swans would get more coverage from the Sydney media if they bagged them for a piss-poor crowd rather than the actual result.

Sad thing is…it probably worked! At least the Gold Coast has some interest in our game so GC17 has a fighting chance to succeed. But even if Western Sydney does become the biggest sporting market in the near future, what’s the point of creating WS18 if nobody up there gives a crap? Andy D’s reputation hinges on this push into New South Wales and South East Queensland…maybe this Herald Sun article was a good chance for him to brush up on his writing skills! You know, just in case he needs a new job in the future…

Little Gazza does it again! To the chagrin of all Buddy Franklin devotees, Geelong’s Gary Ablett has won the AFL Players Association’s prestigious Most Valuable Player award. Voted on by the players, Ablett finished ahead of Franklin to claim a second successive AFLPA MVP…and the honour of winning the award with the most acronyms in all of world sport!

But we doubt that Franklin will be too upset about missing out on this award; he is just loving life at the moment as he leads the Hawks towards a grand final showdown with Ablett’s Cats. The only aspect of his climb to fame that might not sit well with him is having to talk to all those pesky footy journalists…and he is far from the Lone Ranger there!

Franklin was forced to face the press yesterday…though it wasn’t to deny allegations that he is actually a footballing demi-god from another planet! (Apparently, Buddy is actually a human! And people wonder why footy players aren’t fans of the media…) It was because a Carlton fan returned Buddy’s 100th goal football… though we recommend that he sterilise that footy – it could have been anywhere!

Ewwwww! Why aren’t you wearing gloves, Buddy? You don’t know where that ball has been!

In other footy news:

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It’s Buddy Mania! (The Lost Weekend)

Is somebody giving away free stuff? Icy cold cans of Coke, perhaps? Or maybe it’s a scrag-fight! Nope, Buddy has kicked the tonne!!!

Round 22, 2008 brought up a few surprise results and some outstanding performances but it will always be remembered for being about Buddy…and not quite being about Fev! Lance Franklin kicked his 100th goal in the first quarter of Hawthorn’s crushing win against Carlton to send the capacity crowd into a fence-jumping frenzy! See it here

Brett Ratten was hoping for both players to crack the 100 goal mark on Saturday night but some early nerves in front of goal and late flooding tactics from Hawthorn conspired against the Fev, leaving him stranded on 99 goals. Ratten was far from impressed with the Hawks after the match but perhaps the Blues coach needs to focus on finding someone; anyone; that can help out by becoming a goal kicking threat and stop teams honing in on the Fev.

Poor Fev…

The other major point of interest from Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse round was which team would finish in fourth spot and earn the double chance and have the ‘good fortune’ of facing Geelong in the first qualifying final. And for a while, it seemed like a few sides were going out of their way to avoid finishing fourth as Collingwood and then North Melbourne were knocked off by teams in the bottom four.

When Adelaide held on for a thrilling win against the Western Bulldogs, it seemed like they had claimed the top four spot…even though it took cross-town rival Port Adelaide to help them out! But they also appeared to get a little help from a controversial umpiring decision that saw Jason Porplyzia awarded a goal in the final quarter that was clearly rushed for a behind by Jason Akermanis. The incident is being compared to Diego Maradona’s ‘hand of God’; though we should never encourage the use of the term God with Aker as he will, no doubt, take it personally.

Wait, that’s not a foot…it’s an arm. It’s Aker’s arm! Rushed behind…

What are you umps talking about? I touched it!!! See…this is my arm!!!

GOAL??? You’ve gotta be f&@$#%g kidding me!!!

But the media didn’t appear to be studying the AFL ladder that closely as most of them had the Crows preparing for a big clash with Geelong next weekend, only a few recognising the possibility of St Kilda winning the Sunday twilight match by enough points to leapfrog the Crows on percentage. And, sure enough, they pummelled a lightweight Essendon by 108 points and somehow finished fourth! Now the Pies are headed west to Adelaide and the Roos headed north to Sydney for cut-throat finals next week…that sucks dude!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Great Jeff, you finally played a good game…we are all so very impressed!

SATURDAY

Big head, big grab! Brett Ebert and friends embarrass North Melbourne.

Mind you, Worsfold was pretty confident that none of his players were on drugs a couple of years ago…

Doctor Leo Barry attends to teammate Tadhg Kennelly’s shoulder…now he needs to work on the groin of Adam Goodes!

SUNDAY

This man should be feeling embarrassed after the year he has had…and so should Dean Bailey!

Ever seen players this happy after being flogged by 100 points? At least it won’t happen to them ever again…

Round 22 – Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse!

Well played, Rama. Well played…

The final round is here! The end of the road is in sight for those clubs not quite or nowhere near good enough to play finals football…and they are all merely hours away from going completely nuts!!! But don’t get too wild, fellas – particularly if you have a couple of priors, if you get our drift…

For the eight teams who know they will be going around next week, there is a little bit of interest in the results this weekend…but only if North Melbourne slip up on Saturday afternoon. That would leave fourth spot up for grabs to the remaining teams below them in the eight but the Roos are playing a disinterested Port Adelaide so it’s hard too see that happening.

This weekend is also about saying goodbye to those loyal servants who have battled hard for a decade or more and have little or nothing left to give. But as well as the wily veterans, we also bid farewell to those frustrating players who clearly have talent but deficiencies in other areas (on and/or off field) meaning that their time at your club is almost up. Yes, we could be looking at you Alan Didak; and we might be looking at you too, Andrew Lovett. But, we are definitely looking at you, Jeff Farmer!

So, with those players in mind, we look forward to Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse round!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Perhaps Fremantle will let Mark Johnson wear his old Essendon jumper in his final game tonight!

Subiaco, Perth – 6:40pm (local): Fremantle v Collingwood (SEVEN)

PIES by 41: Whatever players Fremantle do have left, they won’t be good enough to combat The Prestigiacomo Factor!

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Shannon Grant will give the game away to pursue other interests…like getting pissed at golf days!

MCG, Melbourne – 1:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Port Adelaide (FOX)

ROOS by 56: Port will only have one player that gives a shit about this game…Dean Brogan! And he can’t win matches on his own…

No wonder Michael Braun retired after last week’s home game…he doesn’t want his final match to be a flogging down at Geelong!

Skilled Stadium, Geelong – 2:10pm (local): Geelong v West Coast (TEN)

CATS by 68: Sounds like that drug problem at the Eagles has flared up again…John Worsfold thinks his side can beat Geelong!!! Huh?

Nathan Bassett says goodbye to Adelaide and hello to insulin!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide– 4:40pm (local): Adelaide v Western Bulldogs (FOX)

CROWS by 18: Wouldn’t it be funny if the Crows let Jason Porplyzia be captain and he dislocated his shoulder at the coin toss! It could happen…

SATURDAY NIGHT

Surely, Spida Everitt will give it away now…he looks like he’s 55 years old!

SCG, Sydney – 7:10pm (local): Sydney v Brisbane (FOX)

LIONS by 19: Brisbane feel that complacency stopped them from making the finals…which probably means they will fire up for a game that doesn’t matter!

Will Shane Crawford retire this year? Expect an announcement soon…probably from a dancing, semi-naked Crawf during the grand final edition of the Footy Show!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Hawthorn v Carlton (TEN)

HAWKS by 25: Now remember kids, you have to run onto the field when Buddy and/or Fev kicks 100 goals…big uncle Tony says it’s ok!!!

SUNDAY

Come on Russell, let Adem Yze go!!! He has to leave now

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Melbourne v Richmond (SEVEN)

TIGERS by 14: Richmond are back in their rightful place…ninth place, that is! But if they keep moving on players such as Greg Tivendale, they might do the unthinkable and climb higher next year. 

Why would anyone get rid of Damien Peverill? Look, he’s such a good sport…

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 4:40pm (local): Essendon v St Kilda (FOX)

SAINTS by 21: St Kilda should keep a close eye on how Essenedon farewell their batch of retirees…because they will have to do the same to Robert Harvey very, very soon – probably next weekend!

Round 20 – Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted!

The League are being a little heavy handed about these ground invasions…

Back from a week of thawing out in the far north of the country, Half Back Flanker couldn’t wait to get back into the daily grind of the AFL in footy-mad Melbourne. But while the pasty-white complexion of our skin might have changed (only slightly) during the break, the League’s determination to suck everything that is spontaneous and fun about our game remains the same!

With Lance Franklin and Brendan Fevola within reach of kicking 100 goals for the season, the League have threatened fans with evictions and fines if they attempt the traditional flooding onto the ground to celebrate the milestone. And while some coaches may agree with the League’s disapproval of the practice, including one particular sacked coach who feels it cost him a premiership and elevation into the legend status that currently exists in his own mind (and nowhere else…), the fans are more likely to ignore the warnings and charge onto the field as goal number one hundred sails through the big sticks!

Will Buddy Franklin kick the nine goals required to bring up his century of goals this weekend? And if he does, will security be escorting pesky fans out of the ground and issuing them with fines? Will Kevin Sheedy really be the first person running out into the middle…and will Mike Sheahan be in hot pursuit to whack him over the head with a rolled-up newspaper and shoo him away? All will be revealed during Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted round!

Half Back Flanker actually had the opportunity to participate in a ground invasion way back in 2001 when Matthew Lloyd cracked the ton in the first week of the finals against Richmond. However, despite all the excitement of witnessing such an achievement and the reaction of the crowd, we couldn’t bring ourselves to take that leap over the fence and be a part of it. Probably just as well, we were seated on level two…

FRIDAY NIGHT

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide – 7:40pm (local): Port Adelaide v Collingwood (SEVEN)

PIES by 31: Collingwood are certainties now that Mick Malthouse is milking last week’s mess to fire up his boys again…and they wonder why the media targets them and opposition fans are sick of them!

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Essendon v Adelaide (FOX)

BOMBERS by 6: Well, Adelaide have never beaten Essendon in Melbourne…why start now? Plus, the Bombers will be inspired to do it for Lloydy

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Melbourne v West Coast (TEN)

DEMONS by 18: The media will probably pay more attention to this match than any other this round. Why? Because it smells tanky! We say – wake us up when it’s over…

SATURDAY NIGHT

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:10pm (local): Brisbane v Western Bulldogs (FOX)

DOGS by 9: The Bulldogs must be getting serious if training is any indication…shame the bust-up didn’t involve the out-of-form Jason Akermanis!

Telstra Stadium, Sydney – 7:10pm (local): Sydney v Geelong (TEN)

CATS by 25: The Swans can add as many premiership stars as they like but they will all be saying one word after feeling the might of the Cats…and that word rhymes with ‘a Canuck in the ruck’!

SUNDAY

MCG, Melbourne – 1:10pm (local): Richmond v Hawthorn (FOX)

HAWKS by 48: Terry Wallace says he is ready to face scrutiny on his coaching future at Richmond if they fail to make the finals…just as well because the scrutiny will officially start around 4pm on Sunday!

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Carlton v North Melbourne (SEVEN)

ROOS by 14: Dean Laidley will be feeling even more confident about a new contract after his side knocks off Carlton and they find themselves in fourth spot!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): Fremantle v St Kilda (FOX)

DOCKERS by 21: Mark Harvey hopes that the deeds of our Olympic athletes will inspire them to victory…even if it means his players don’t get a lot of sleep. Um, does Harvey know that the Games are in China this year? And that the time difference between Beijing and Fremantle is…absolutely nothing?