Tag Archives: Port Adelaide

When The Game Takes Over Our Drunken Idiot Coverage! (2009 AFL Grand Final Preview)

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drunkfev

We will now briefly focus on a football game before returning you to your regularly scheduled programming…which, apparently, is this guy!

Relax, people! Once Saturday’s game is over, we can go back to the main reason we all follow the game…what stupid Brendan Fevola up to now and what EVERYBODY ELSE thinks about it! Or maybe you’ve had enough of Fev and would prefer to talk about trades – where Shaun Burgoyne thinks he is going or where Brock McLean says he is going.

Perhaps you are stunned that Marty Clarke is choosing to go home or that Matthew Lloyd is choosing to stay home. But for now, the 2009 AFL Grand Final needs to take centre stage so you’ll just have to make do with that…

Not a bad consolation though…the two best teams in the comp are virtually at full strength (sorry Max fans!) and primed to present us with a fitting finale to the footy season. It’s going to be entertaining day and a great spectacle but, please, remember to behave appropriately. You don’t want to end up like Stupid Fevola (that is, a big blokey legend!), do you?

ST KILDA SAINTS

SaintsPlane

The secret to St Kilda’s success? Not catching swine flu from the filthy, germ-infested masses!

The dominant team of 2009 but not a clear favourite… a lack of respect or is this just history talking?

The Team
B:
Jason Blake, Zac Dawson, Steven Baker
HB: Brendon Goddard, Sam Fisher, Sam Gilbert
C: Farren Ray, Lenny Hayes, Nick Dal Santo
HF: Andrew McQualter, Justin Koschitzke, Clint Jones
F: Stephen Milne, Nick Riewoldt, Jason Gram
Foll: Steven King, Leigh Montagna, Adam Schneider
I/C: Luke Ball, Raphael Clarke, Sean Dempster, Michael Gardiner
Emg: David Armitage, Jarryn Geary, James Gwilt

In: Dempster
Out: Robert Eddy

GEELONG CATS

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The secret to Geelong’s success? Police arresting anybody that goes within one metre of Gary Ablett!

The Team
B:
Darren Milburn, Matthew Scarlett, Corey Enright
HB: Tom Harley, Harry Taylor, Andrew Mackie
C: Joel Corey, Cameron Ling, James Kelly
HF: Jimmy Bartel, Cameron Mooney, Steve Johnson
F: Travis Varcoe, Tom Hawkins, Paul Chapman
Foll: Mark Blake, Joel Selwood, Gary Ablett
I/C: Brad Ottens, Shannon Byrnes, Max Rooke, David Wojcinski
Emg: Shane Mumford, Simon Hogan, Mathew Stokes

No change

So…who wins this bloody thing? St Kilda made the one team change but it will not result in a fairytale send-off for stalwart Max Hudghton. Geelong are unchanged but have sterner opposition compared to last week. Hard to predict a winner with any great confidence; hence the call of a draw’ being quite popular.

For me, the deciding factor is simple…and probably a touch immature, but oh well. I just don’t want to see Stephen Milne win a grand final. The thought of that little twerp receiving a premiership medallion and whooping it up would ruin my entire year.

MilneSucks

For the love of God, do not let this twerp win a premiership!

If St Kilda did win and for whatever reason; concussion,  injury, diarrhoea; Milne was not involved at the end, I could live with that. If they could vote him off the podium and replace him with Robert Harvey, even better. But please Geelong..do not let this twerp win!!!

CATS by 22

Round Fifteen – The Great Unravelling!

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Look on the bright side Sheeds…at least these kids won’t be blaming you for Richmond’s ongoing woes in the future!

Oh, the drama! Something seems to happen every single weekend in AFL footy that makes you sit up and take notice…well, footy stories are always reported with dramatic overtones – whether they are worthy of the hype is up to our discretion. The largest football juggernaut to unravel this weekend was not a player, a team or a club…it was Kevin Sheedy’s coaching aspirations at Richmond!

While the campaign to place Sheeds in charge at Punt Road has been artificially bubbling ever since he left Essendon (thanks to one of his employers, the Herald Sun), it was only officially launched a week or so ago. His former teammate and notorious Punt Road malcontent Kevin Bartlett was leading the charge and the maniacal support from people who are fast approaching retirement age were selling Sheedy as if he were the only logical option for the Tigers. What could possibly go wrong?

But, unfortunately for the oldies, people who were born after the 1950’s make the decisions at Richmond and seeing the writing on the wall, Sheeds magnanimously decided to withdraw his application. He feels that his application will not receive true consideration and didn’t want another Channel Nine soap opera…which the network will now turn this into a soap opera anyway. And we all know what happens when Channel Nine has a show that viewers don’t really want to watch…they make a second series!

But all that hard work from Bartlett and friends down the gurgler…they are far from impressed! Will they suddenly lose interest in dictating who should coach Richmond next year or find another experienced campaigner with a once-impeccable record to endorse? Wonder what Ron Barassi is up to these days? Poor Sheeds. But he should know how melodramatic things get on the coaching roundabout…and not just at Richmond!

Now apart from Kev,what else went wrong during The Great Unraveling?

The all-conquering Geelong Cats?

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Joel Corey is shocked as Mark Thompson raises his voice for the first time since the year 2006!

The Fremantle Dockers…again!

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Yep, this was Freo’s only goal for the night. Savour the moment…

The Sydney Swans without Barry Hall!

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Bye bye…Barry! Bye bye…Sydney Swans for 2009! Bye bye…any mention of AFL footy in the Sydney papers for the rest of the year!

Port Adelaide’s credibility!

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Could be worse, David Rodan…you could still be at Richmond!

The Games:

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A big goal, even bigger celebration…yep, that’s what we’ve come to expect from Magpie Dale Thomas!

Sheesh…that was close! Collingwood appeared to have this match all under control before the Doggies fired up in the last term. But the Pies held on to win by one point and showed that they could well be a threat to the Saints and/or Cats in two months time. The Dogs showed that they are at least capable of coming back from 39 points down…shame they were down by 41 in this game though!

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Nice to see Alan Didak playing great footy and talking to the media without having to use the words “I’d like to apologise for my actions”!

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Yep, Bazza was sitting in the back of a ute for his lap of honour. Could not have been more perfect!

The Sydney faithful bid farewell to their favourite brain-snapping bruiser during Saturday’s home game against Essendon…and that was easily the highlight of their afternoon. It was a taste of what life will be like without him – struggling team, no finals and not even a hint of mindless violence to keep people entertained. The Bombers remain in the finals hunt with a rare interstate winno wonder they are a wee bit excited.

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Fev loves pulling freakish goals out of his arse…this was one of his absolute best!

Brendan Fevola has his care factor set to ‘high’ and attitude set to ‘smartarse’ on the way to registering a career-high nine goals in Carlton’s win over Richmond. Which is great against a crap team in early July…but Carlton need Fev to show this amount of energy and committment in the crucual games coming up. Will we get ‘interested Fev’ then or ‘sooky Fev’? We shall see…

DeledioHand

B..R..E..T..um, do I spell my name with one T or two? Or is it three?I always forget…

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“Injuries, schminjuries! We beat Geelong and we deserve some respect, ya pricks! Yeah, you heard me…pricks the lotta ya!!!”

Gee…when it rains in Geelong, it pours doesn’t it! Barely lost a game for two and a half years, few injury troubles…now they have lost two games and half their team in one week! Brisbane took full advantage and super coach Michael Voss has his Lions all set for a return to finals action….and loving it too, one suspects!

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Simon Goodwin puts on a brave face after his 250th game…but secretly shattered that his mates let him down by allowing their opponents to kick a goal!

Have the Adelaide Crows ever had an easier night’s work than this? Fremantle have had plenty of shitty results in their checkered history…but one goal in an entire game? One freakin’ goal? Surely it can’t get any shittier than this for the Dockers…can it? Well, don’t put it past them – they still have away games against the Dogs and Cats yet!

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Not sure where you have been, Buddy…but welcome back!

Maybe Hawthorn aren’t stuffed after all…though they looked certain to suffer defeat at the hands of the Kangas in Tassie on Sunday. The Hawks were holding out for a hero and up stepped Lance Franklin!  Buddy appeared from under the rock where he had seemingly been hiding with a stellar final term to pinch a vital win away from North Melbourne and stay in contention for the finals. The Roos may lack the stars but at least they have the cars – Mazda’s renewal of their major sponsorship a major boost…almost better than the four competition points. Almost…

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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Mr Liam Jurrah!

Not sure how you explain the world going all arse-backwards like this but Geelong have lost two in a row and Melbourne have won two in a row! Jimmy Stynes would have loved the events that unfolded at the ‘G…not surprisingly, Mark Williams hated it! And now his players will be hating him after a 6am wake-up call! Choco can’t afford any more performances like that if he wants to play finals…or finalise that new contract!

The West Coast Eagles kept this one close for three quarters, placing St Kilda’s pursuit of The Perfect Season in some jeopardy until they got serious. The Saints eventually made it fifteen from fifteen and the coach felt that being able to win games interstate was important…which it is; though it is probably more important not to lose against a bottom-four side ever, no matter the venue! And now that the Eagles’ biggest and best player might be done for the year, so could any chance of them landing a big scalp before seasons end.

Round Eleven – The Excitement Builds In Western Sydney

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The suburbs of western Sydney look exactly like this year’s NAB ad…well, it would if you removed every single Sherrin!

Half Back Flanker went on a bit of a field trip for round eleven of the AFL season and ventured out into the Aussie rules footballing hotbed that could well be soon on the receiving end of the 18th AFL franchise. I thought it might be nice to gauge the levels of excitement and anticipation from the millions of  residents in the west of Sydney as they count down to the arrival of their very own AFL club.

Well, having left Sydney and returned to Swine Flu Central…I can’t say that Sydney’s west is exactly swept up in AFL fever. It was like round eleven never actually happened! Not exactly sure why Andy D is so gung-ho about expanding into western Sydney..no, actually I am – there are a shitload of people out there! And they are watching plenty of footy. But let me tell you something…they ain’t watching our game!

If you wanted to talk to the locals about how the Tigers died in the arse during the second half on Friday Night football, they would have agreed. But they are talking the Wests Tigers in the NRL…not Richmond! And while the coach of the West Tigers might be in trouble, at least he still has a job…and he actually won something during his time there. Terry Wallace has neither of those things

Terry Farewell

Richmond fans in western Sydney had to stay up past 2am on Saturday morning to watch Terry Wallace coach the Tigers to the last loss of his career.

And just say that you were keen to check out the Tigers-Doggies game and lived in western Sydney – you had to wait until after 11pm for the start of the match on Channel Seven. The Friday night marquee event AFL game and a massive audience in the largest growth area in Australia that has been targeted to adopt your code…and they are the last group of people in the entire country to see it?

And things didn’t improve on Saturday either. The ladder-leading Saints had another win? Nuh, they didn’t play until Monday night and they (being St George Illawarra) lost to the Gold Coast. And if you settled down in the family home to watch the action on a Saturday night, no AFL either. It was rugby union between the Wallabies and Barbarians…where the Lions were British, not Brisbane, and the Blues were from Auckland, not Carlton. If you went to the pub for some pay TV footy action, it was all about Johnathan Thurston and his Cowboys – not Toby Thurstans and the victorious Port Adelaide!

At least we saw some AFL action on Sunday with the Sydney Swans playing Hawthorn…it was live and everything. Sure, every pub with a TV had the rugby league on but those with a second screen were showing the Swannies. Sure enough, the Swans lost; in part to a classic Barry Hall brain-snap; and big bad Bazza has pretty much been the only AFL coverage in the Sydney media for the next three days.

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Another Barry brain-snap…but it’s probably the only way to keep AFL and the Swans in the Sydney papers!

Say what you like about the hot-headed Swans spearhead but if it wasn’t for Barry Hall doing stupid things on a regular basis, the term ‘AFL’ would barely be uttered up there. Gary Ablett and the Cats keep tearing up the competition…read the scores in the paper the following day. The Crows and Bombers put on a great show with some spectacular goals…didn’t watch or listen to a second of it! Probably just as well for me…

And how about the latest teenage whizkid to hit the big time! Huh, who the hell is Jack Watts? They are talking about rising Wallabies star James O’Connor and his selection in the best rugby team in the country. They wouldn’t have the first idea about Watts making his highly (try ‘overly’) publicised debut for the worst team in the league – which just happened to coincide with Melbourne’s home game blockbuster against the biggest crowd drawing team. What a funny coincidence…

So, despite the miserable skies and hail storms greeting me at the airport, it was great to arrive back at the home of AFL football and catch up on what happened in round eleven. The guy behind the success at the Swans has doubts about the new Sydney club…and after my experience last weekend, I would have to agree.

Round Five – Lest We Forget…How To Play Footy!

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One name that Bomber fans will never forget…David Zaharakis!

On this weekend of Anzac Day (Lest We Forget), a few teams seemed to totally forget what to do on the footy field. Port Adelaide…eeew! North Melbourne…sheesh! Brisbane…ouch! And Collingwood (for the final four minutes)…yikes! Or does that take credit away from the impressive performances of St Kilda, Geelong, Richmond? Yeah, I said Richmond! And that finish to the Anzac Day match between Essendon and Collingwood…holy smokes! I’m still squealing in delight…

Possibly the biggest thing to take from this weekend, something never to forget, is that you shouldn’t give up on your team if there is any flicker of hope. I did it once with Essendon back in 2001…only to be left standing all alone at the tram stop outside of Colonial Stadium (now Whatshishead Stadium) and listening to the radio as Steven Alessio kicked the winning goal with five seconds left to beat the Sydney Swans.

The Games:

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After an emergency half-time meeting, Port’s leadership group decide against giving up and elect to take the field for the second half. Poor choice…

Unless you are a mad St Kilda fan, it was a pretty ugly Friday night of footy. Well, Port Adelaide are not the prettiest bunch of people to start with…plus their financial situation is looking quite unhealthy too. But the way in which they were dismantled the Saints must leave them having to re-evaluate just how good they are. And it won’t help Mark Williams get a job at Collingwood any time soon…

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If Mick is really worried about ‘letting down the Anzacs‘, his club should forget high-altitude preseason training in Arizona and sign the players up for a dose of National Service instead!

Essendon…I can’t even describe how they did it; they just did it!  After losing their only established ruckman for the season in the first minute, the prodigious Paddy Ryder and his young cohorts fought valiantly but the Bombers looked done down three kicks with five minutes left. The Pies then went from dogged to disgusting in the final four minutes and set the scene for David Zaharakis and his ball-tearing matchwinner! And here it is…

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Great game by Hawthorn‘s goal-kicking machine – it’s Buddy! No, it’s Roughie! No, it’s…Gary Moss?

That’s right folks. Gary Moss kicks four goals as the Hawks overcome the West Coast Eagles in a tough match down in Tassie. John Worsfold might well lament the one that got away but is more concerned about the one that cannot get away…that is, Daniel Kerr cannot get away from some rough treatment by his opponents. Poor Kerr…

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Tiger players go absolutely crazy as Mark Coughlan is announced to replace Terry Wallace as the next coach of Richmond leads the team in the victory song!

Hang on – Richmond are meant to be shit, aren’t they? But I swore that I read somewhere that they won? Yep, it says it here too. And that guy on death row is praising their commitment and everything so it must be true! What a shocker for the Roos…and having the captain’s elbow bent all manner of sideways can’t be good either!

Hang on – Fremantle are meant to be shit, aren’t they? But I swore that I read somewhere that they won? Fremantle, not wanting to be left winless longer than Richmond,  took care of the Sydney Swans at home. Maybe that was the challenge Mark Harvey issued the players this week…don’t be as shit as Richmond please!

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Yes, he kicked it from that angle…just another routine piece of genius from Gary Ablett!

Geelong annihilate Brisbane to the tune of 93 points at Skilled Stadium with Gary Ablett continuing to punish me for not picking him in any of my fantasy teams! Coach Vossy hopes that his Lions learn plenty from the spanking but it seems that the Cats might have learnt a few things about their team as well. Come on – what’s with all this learning stuff? It’s just footy…if I wanted to learn anything, I would have paid attention in school!

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If you saw Brian Lake’s stupid handball in the third quarter then you know why Rodney Eade is looking so pissed off!

While the coach of the Western Bulldogs can look at errors and poor decisions costing them any chance, they would have needed to be near flawless to have gotten over the top of Carlton. The Blues do it for Dick as they leap up into third spot on the ladder and Fevola, who kicked his 500th goal,  might be back in town as well…though there are a few people from out of town that are keen on him too!

A late Sunday match on a cold and shitty afternoon in Melbourne involving the Demons and Adelaide. Doesn’t sound like a lot of fun, does it? Well, you’re right…it wasn’t! ‘Scrappy’ is not strong enough a word to describe it‘ugly’ – that’s more like it! The Crows kept Melbourne goalless for two and a half quarters and held off the fast-finishing Dees for another win at the MCG. And by fast-finishing, we mean three goals in final term. Yep, it was that type of game.

Round Four – Should Have Known Better…

Should have known better than…

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Don’t worry Michael Rischitelli…I had the same reaction as you did when I saw the final score last Friday night!!!

  • To dismiss Port Adelaide’s chances of upsetting Hawthorn purely on the strength of their poxy away jumpers! Honestly, they are shit, aren’t they? And now that they have beaten the reigning champs by five goals in those ugly things, that will just encourage them to wear it more and more. I think I’m going to have another Michael Rischitelli moment…

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Those stupid away jumpers might have been designed with pillows in mind but the Power were far from soft against the Hawks!

  • To tell my Carlton supporting friends that the Blues would bounce back after my Bombers knocked them off last week. Fortunately, I didn’t believe it myself when it came to tipping as the Swans squeaked out a win at the SCG. Once again, the Blues were wayward with the ball while poor old Fev missed shots at goal and could barely stay on the field! Well, we all know how wayward he can get…

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Brendan Fevola – just a lovable larrikin who is always pushing the boundaries…or tumbling over them!

  • To think the Adelaide Crows would complete a remarkable comeback to beat Geelong. The Cats looked like they were going to cut up the Crows ‘St Kilda-Freo’ style but Adelaide fought back hard in the second and third quarters. However, all their hard work was quickly blown away in the final term as lil’ Gazza did as he pleased on the way to a big win…holy crap, that guy is good!!!

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Gary Ablett should not just be chaired around by teammates after footy games. It should happen all the time – to training, to the shops…he deserves it!

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Forget the on-field clangers…the Bombers couldn’t even exit the arena correctly against the Kangaroos.

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Terry Wallace makes a quick call to Centrelink, only to hear that they are open from 8:30am to 5pm weekdays and to call back during business hours.

Round Three – Should Have Laid Off The Choccy Eggs!

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Heath Shaw – seems like a touch…a touch too much!

Talk about having a crappy Easter break! Collingwood’s Heath Shaw would have been feeling sick to his stomach all weekend without the aid of a single chocolate egg (or many of them in succession, like the rest of us!) after his report for touching an umpire last Thursday night. Unfortunate because it was actually Alan Didak who touched the umpire, Shaw was just covering up for him…again!

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Now this is the best way to touch an umpire…gently, respectfully and with a smile!

The matter has been sent straight to the tribunal so it will be a pretty big night there…particularly if there are a few players who elect to contest charges stemming from round three. But while some people in footy might have had a crappy Easter weekend; Heath Shaw, John Worsfold and Terry Wallace immediately spring to mind; it pales into insignificance compared to the anguish that the family and friends of ex-Hawk and footy documentary whiz Rob Dickson must be feeling. How sad…knocks the stuffing out of you, doesn’t it!

The Games:

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Busted nose for Steve Johnson…guess he won’t be able to rely on his looks anymore!

Geelong continue on their merry way as they steamroll Collingwood…causing the normally-obtuse Mick Malthouse to deal in the bleeding obvious. The Pies were made to pay for numerous acts of inaccuracy…which makes you wonder whether Heath Shaw meant to grab the ump’s arm or was actually trying to grab him elsewhere and just plain missed! Bloody skill errors…

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Be it celebrating with teammates or wrestling with opponents, Kossie just can’t stop whacking blokes in the head!

St Kilda could hardly have been more impressive during the opening three rounds, and Nick Riewoldt has yet to really get going. So maybe this is (finally) the year of the Saint? The Eagles looked very average and you can just imagine John Worsfold being so pissed that he would have confiscated every Easter egg from his players on the long flight home to Perth!

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Two weeks ago, Essendon were a crap team and everybody at Windy Hill hated Hayden Skipworth…seems neither of those things are correct.

Carlton’s rise to premiership glory stalls after the Bombers win a classic in front of seventy thousand at the ‘G. If only Fev wasn’t injured, and if only Matthew Lloyd was really finished as a footballer (like he was last year), the result could have been so different. But…it wasn’t! And a big thanks to the bogan footy family who interrupted a quiet Saturday night dinner at the local Chinese restaurant in Warrnambool with random screams of “Go Bombers”. Made my night!

The Sydney Swans were meant to be Brisbane’s bogey side…sure didn’t look like it! The Lions knock off Sydney at home and it seems like the message of Voss is getting through…though if they are really setting themselves for a return to the big time, beating Collingwood at home is a must. And a Friday night as well…rare territory for Brisbane.

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Doesn’t look like Dean Bailey is loving life as Melbourne coach but…

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HE LOVES TO COUNT…AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH!

First we had Lloydy, now Warren Tredrea rises from the Useless AFL Player grave to kick six goals as Port bounce back after a poor showing in Perth last week. But come on – they were playing the Demons at home…as if they weren’t going to romp it in! The only problem they were going to have was with discipline…and yes, they struggled in that area again. The coach will be delighted. No, seriously – he will think it’s unreal! He loves tough guys…

The premiership hangover theory can be discarded too as Hawthorn put injury woes and tragedy aside to win easily over North Melbourne. It ended a miserable week for the Roos, Dean Laidley referring to the scrutiny around the chicken sex video as akin to World War III.  Well, without the global significance, the devastation and the mass killings of soldiers and innocent people, of course! Apart from that, yeah – just like a war…

The Crows did manage to handle their week of scrutiny a little better than the Roos, fighting their way to a good road win against the Dockers. Three rounds in and how many wins do Fremantle have? None! Luckily, coach Mark Harvey has a supporter in the coach that just knocked off his team. Grant Thomas is definitely not a supporter…but that probably works in Harvey’s favour!

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Will the Tigers find inspiration from Richo snorting his glove through his nose and out his mouth? Well, anything is worth a shot for Richmond…

The Western Bulldogs, a top-four team in good form, had a good win yesterday over Richmond, not a top-four team and not in good form. So the outrage and hysteria about the Tigers seems a little over the top and, dare we say it, contrived by media types who need content for the week. But if Terry Wallace is feeling heat now, imagine what he will cop if they fall to the winless Demons this Sunday!

Round Two – Some Things Never Change

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The moment when the new rushed behind rule won me over…

Tough questions being asked of good teams after just two rounds, youngsters making the most of their opportunities, off-field indiscretions (not just by footballers either) and the Fremantle Dockers stinking up football grounds all across the nation. These are just some of the AFL footy norms that occur year after year…and 2009 appears to no exception.

One element of the game that does appear to change every season is the rules but even that creates the traditional argument about the laws of the game and whether all these damn changes are necessary and why don’t they just leave the game alone! But the evidence after two rounds is that the implementation of the rushed behind rule will be a big success.

After some dodgy decisions in the equally dodgy NAP Cup, the opening round saw a reduction of rushed behinds and produced some exciting passages of play in the defensive fifty…mainly because the players didn’t quite know what to do when under pressure close to goal! I thought that once the players and/or coaches figured out how to exploit the rule, it might not have much of an impact. But when Ed Lower swooped past a hesitant defender inches from the line to kick a goal early in the last quarter of yesterday’s Bulldogs-Kangaroos game, it absolutely won we over.

The fifty-metre penalty for dragging down running players after disposal…that’s a different story! But another of footy’s norms is that the League cannot get everything right…

The Games:

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Shall we call him Logan, Weapon X or Wolverine? Brendon Goddard and the Saints take out the Crows…X-Men style!

The St Kilda bandwagon was already starting to gain momentum but it might get out of control now after finishing all over the Crows in Adelaide on Friday night. Chuck in Trent Hentschel’s knee and the Nathan Bock affair…what a shit weekend for the Crows!

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The Prez looks at the scoreboard and then vomits a little bit in his own mouth…

President Eddie looks worried here but the Pies eventually recovered to win handily. But if they had lost, would Media Eddie have told President Eddie that he should bring Kevin Sheedy to Magpieland…just like he did with Richmond last week? Hopefully, we can look forward to just one week when we don’t hear a peep from any of the Eddies…fat chance, right?

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Don’t worry Terry…you will probably feel much, much, much flatter than this later on this season!

You just got flogged by Carlton, have rarely beaten Geelong and then gave the Cats one heck of a fright down at Kardinia Park. And you feel flatter now than this time last week? Does he mean flatter in the stomach because he punched out a shitload of abdominal crunches all week? No, apparently not. Who should be feeling flat right now…Brad Ottens, that’s who!

The Sydney Swans had a planmust have worked ok. The Hawks have now suffered their first loss on the “Morale Victory” competition ladder but, unfortunately, the reigning champs have yet to register a win on the real ladder…you know, the one that counts for something.

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Browny is spitting chips…and that was before he got reported!

According to the back page of the Herald Sun, The Mighty Blues crushed the Lions to remain unbeaten after two rounds. Apparently easy wins against Richmond and holding off a late fightback against Brisbane at home makes you a ‘mighty’ team…imagine all the adjectives they could use if they actually beat a team that finished in the top eight recently…

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Sure, it’s not a pint of Guinness but young Irishman Michael Quinn doesn’t seem to mind having a drink tipped on his head!

Speed Kills…and coaching Fremantle can’t be good for your health either! Essendon take care of the Dockers to win their first of the season, forcing Patrick Smith to make shit up about another team this week. But what was more amazing – that AFL novice Michael Quinn made such an impression on debut…or that Kevin Sheedy never actually recruited and played an Irishman in all his years at Windy Hill?

The Western Bulldogs eek out a close one against North Melbourne, though the Roos pressed them all the way – and kudos to Mark Robinson for not using the mythical Shinboner Spirit to describe the effort. Can’t have been easy…  Dean Laidley should be a little worried about the form of Brent Harvey though…as am I. He’s killing my fantasy teams!

Daylight savings time has just ended and looks like the Eagles may have wound back their clocks further than one hour…try about three years! West Coast win big against Port Adelaide but relax Power fans – you may have lost the football game but you are still the toughest talking team in the whole comp!