Tag Archives: Punt Road

Round Fifteen – The Great Unravelling!

SheedyKiddie

Look on the bright side Sheeds…at least these kids won’t be blaming you for Richmond’s ongoing woes in the future!

Oh, the drama! Something seems to happen every single weekend in AFL footy that makes you sit up and take notice…well, footy stories are always reported with dramatic overtones – whether they are worthy of the hype is up to our discretion. The largest football juggernaut to unravel this weekend was not a player, a team or a club…it was Kevin Sheedy’s coaching aspirations at Richmond!

While the campaign to place Sheeds in charge at Punt Road has been artificially bubbling ever since he left Essendon (thanks to one of his employers, the Herald Sun), it was only officially launched a week or so ago. His former teammate and notorious Punt Road malcontent Kevin Bartlett was leading the charge and the maniacal support from people who are fast approaching retirement age were selling Sheedy as if he were the only logical option for the Tigers. What could possibly go wrong?

But, unfortunately for the oldies, people who were born after the 1950’s make the decisions at Richmond and seeing the writing on the wall, Sheeds magnanimously decided to withdraw his application. He feels that his application will not receive true consideration and didn’t want another Channel Nine soap opera…which the network will now turn this into a soap opera anyway. And we all know what happens when Channel Nine has a show that viewers don’t really want to watch…they make a second series!

But all that hard work from Bartlett and friends down the gurgler…they are far from impressed! Will they suddenly lose interest in dictating who should coach Richmond next year or find another experienced campaigner with a once-impeccable record to endorse? Wonder what Ron Barassi is up to these days? Poor Sheeds. But he should know how melodramatic things get on the coaching roundabout…and not just at Richmond!

Now apart from Kev,what else went wrong during The Great Unraveling?

The all-conquering Geelong Cats?

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Joel Corey is shocked as Mark Thompson raises his voice for the first time since the year 2006!

The Fremantle Dockers…again!

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Yep, this was Freo’s only goal for the night. Savour the moment…

The Sydney Swans without Barry Hall!

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Bye bye…Barry! Bye bye…Sydney Swans for 2009! Bye bye…any mention of AFL footy in the Sydney papers for the rest of the year!

Port Adelaide’s credibility!

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Could be worse, David Rodan…you could still be at Richmond!

The Games:

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A big goal, even bigger celebration…yep, that’s what we’ve come to expect from Magpie Dale Thomas!

Sheesh…that was close! Collingwood appeared to have this match all under control before the Doggies fired up in the last term. But the Pies held on to win by one point and showed that they could well be a threat to the Saints and/or Cats in two months time. The Dogs showed that they are at least capable of coming back from 39 points down…shame they were down by 41 in this game though!

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Nice to see Alan Didak playing great footy and talking to the media without having to use the words “I’d like to apologise for my actions”!

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Yep, Bazza was sitting in the back of a ute for his lap of honour. Could not have been more perfect!

The Sydney faithful bid farewell to their favourite brain-snapping bruiser during Saturday’s home game against Essendon…and that was easily the highlight of their afternoon. It was a taste of what life will be like without him – struggling team, no finals and not even a hint of mindless violence to keep people entertained. The Bombers remain in the finals hunt with a rare interstate winno wonder they are a wee bit excited.

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Fev loves pulling freakish goals out of his arse…this was one of his absolute best!

Brendan Fevola has his care factor set to ‘high’ and attitude set to ‘smartarse’ on the way to registering a career-high nine goals in Carlton’s win over Richmond. Which is great against a crap team in early July…but Carlton need Fev to show this amount of energy and committment in the crucual games coming up. Will we get ‘interested Fev’ then or ‘sooky Fev’? We shall see…

DeledioHand

B..R..E..T..um, do I spell my name with one T or two? Or is it three?I always forget…

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“Injuries, schminjuries! We beat Geelong and we deserve some respect, ya pricks! Yeah, you heard me…pricks the lotta ya!!!”

Gee…when it rains in Geelong, it pours doesn’t it! Barely lost a game for two and a half years, few injury troubles…now they have lost two games and half their team in one week! Brisbane took full advantage and super coach Michael Voss has his Lions all set for a return to finals action….and loving it too, one suspects!

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Simon Goodwin puts on a brave face after his 250th game…but secretly shattered that his mates let him down by allowing their opponents to kick a goal!

Have the Adelaide Crows ever had an easier night’s work than this? Fremantle have had plenty of shitty results in their checkered history…but one goal in an entire game? One freakin’ goal? Surely it can’t get any shittier than this for the Dockers…can it? Well, don’t put it past them – they still have away games against the Dogs and Cats yet!

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Not sure where you have been, Buddy…but welcome back!

Maybe Hawthorn aren’t stuffed after all…though they looked certain to suffer defeat at the hands of the Kangas in Tassie on Sunday. The Hawks were holding out for a hero and up stepped Lance Franklin!  Buddy appeared from under the rock where he had seemingly been hiding with a stellar final term to pinch a vital win away from North Melbourne and stay in contention for the finals. The Roos may lack the stars but at least they have the cars – Mazda’s renewal of their major sponsorship a major boost…almost better than the four competition points. Almost…

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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Mr Liam Jurrah!

Not sure how you explain the world going all arse-backwards like this but Geelong have lost two in a row and Melbourne have won two in a row! Jimmy Stynes would have loved the events that unfolded at the ‘G…not surprisingly, Mark Williams hated it! And now his players will be hating him after a 6am wake-up call! Choco can’t afford any more performances like that if he wants to play finals…or finalise that new contract!

The West Coast Eagles kept this one close for three quarters, placing St Kilda’s pursuit of The Perfect Season in some jeopardy until they got serious. The Saints eventually made it fifteen from fifteen and the coach felt that being able to win games interstate was important…which it is; though it is probably more important not to lose against a bottom-four side ever, no matter the venue! And now that the Eagles’ biggest and best player might be done for the year, so could any chance of them landing a big scalp before seasons end.

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Round Ten – A Series Of Perfect Tens

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Ben Cousins filming the latest promo for One HD, Ten’s new 24 hour sports channel.

Ten was the magic number last weekend. St Kilda won its tenth straight game to start the season while Geelong matched them to also remain unbeaten after ten rounds of footy. They appear to be set on a collision course for round 14 in the biggest blockbuster game of the season…to be played in the smallest stadium in town. But fear not, footy fans – we will surely get to see the game live on TV…won’t we?

Channel Ten was the other big winner out of the weekend’s action when former Eagles champ Ben Cousins chose to vent his frustration with a single-fingered salute right down the barrel of a camera as he returned to play in Western Australia for the first time as a Tiger. Sure, Benny thought it was just a bit of fun but the League will want an explanation as they seem to have a different opinion on what exactly is fun….as we all know from years of questionable grand final entertainment!

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Terry’s time up at Richmond? Wow, that came out of left field…never saw that coming.

Then there is our old friend Terry Wallace. Despite his struggling side recording a rare win on the weekend, he and the Tigers announced today that they are parting ways after Friday night’s clash with the Bulldogs. The conference can be read in full here but the general gist of it all was that the Tigers are somehow better off now (with an extra five years of failure) than when he began, that his coaching career is pretty much over and that he’s kinda sorry for what happened at the Bulldogs in 2002. I’m sure the Doggies fans can’t wait to express their gratitude to him on Friday night…

The Games:

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Fev clearly doesn’t know how to perform a Pressed Ham against the Glass…maybe he’s asking the umpire how it’s done!

Did the hysteria about the poor play at Carlton get a little out of hand last week? Sure, the Blues did have their arses handed to them by Adelaide last week but you’d have thought they were level with Richmond on the ladder by the amount of whining. But a little siege mentality, including the fortnightly Robert Walls Carlton focus article, helped inspire them to ease past the Eagles at home on Friday night. West Coast are no longer making finals their priority…we think that is wise!

Brisbane score a solid away win against North Melbourne on the back of some exciting young players and their exciting young finals-talking coach. The Roos wasted no time delving into a comprehensive post-mortem…perhaps they can send an update to fans who spent most of the first quarter sampling the many seating options at Whatshishead Stadium. Sounds like a fun place to watch footy…

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One behind in a quarter? Think Roosy might kick 22 behinds this week at training!

The Western Bulldogs looked right at home in the nation’s capital of fireworks and pornography with a comfortable win over the Swans that places them at the head of the class for next-best underneath Geelong and St. Kilda. The Swans managed to keep Aker quiet (no mean feat…whatever the context of ‘keeping quiet’!) but it was not a great day for them. Maybe the ‘other’ Sydney team will have more luck up there.

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Terry wants to celebrate a rare win so he finds a guy who knows how to party…

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…though perhaps he needs to learn from ‘Aussie’ Guus Hiddink…now that’s one guy who knows how to party!

It was always going to be a big game for Ben Cousins returning to the west…and didn’t he love being back in WA! Well, he and the rest of the Tigers were loving it when they scraped over the line against Freo in a thrilling finale. Mark Harvey’s side almost pulled off the win despite a multitude of injuries…yep, cue the debate for substitute players.

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Samuel L Jackson just wants to get these mother-flippin’ Saints of this mother-freakin’ plane!

No disrespect to Melbourne (of course…) but St Kilda’s biggest issue this weekend was not the game but travelling amongst the dirty, swine-infected members of the general public. They all made it safely and took care of the Demons without a great deal of difficulty…though they did get a little cutesy. The Saints now look forward to winning the next three before the Geelong game while Dean Bailey will focus his team on losing to Collingwood next week.

Adelaide blew away the reigning champs in the first half to record another win at home…and may have just unearthed a new goal kicking hero in the process. Neil Craig was suitable impressed…Al Clarkson? Hmm, not so much! And does he think they will bounce back right away? No, not really.

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Shoulda turned back, boys…shoulda turned back!

May as well just recycle the reports from round two in 2008…Essendon received a comprehensive football lesson from Geelong with coach Matthew Knights planning to use this loss as a leaning aid for his players. The only point that is unique to 2009 is that while the Cats keep racking up wins and proving a point against all opponents, they are referring to St Kilda as the benchmark. Yeah, nice try…

A light tower loses power at the MCG on Sunday as Port Adelaide stink it up on the field, prompting all manner of kooky headlines… oh, delicious irony! The Pies blitz the Power in the second half and, after copping plenty of criticism a fortnight ago, now they are headed for the top four. In fact, Mike Sheahan has already chalked them up for another four wins during the next month…and he never gets it wrong, does he!

Where’s Wallace? (Media Street)

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The smile, the sunnies, the media throng that follows him everywhere he goes…talk about living the rock star life! Tell me Terry isn’t loving every second of this!!!

We all know that when there is a “CRISIS” in AFL footy, there is nowhere to hide. Richmond are currently in “CRISIS” mode and the eyes of all media and Tiger supporters are fixated on the footpaths and back exits at Punt Road. So what is going on down there?

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Richmond’s spokesman for mental problems reveals to the footy world that…yes, they have mental problems!


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The KKK? Look more like a cheap-ass Casper the Friendly Ghost…with a little Blues Brothers thrown in!

Um…sorry but are Fremantle players really dressing up as members of the Klu Klux Klan in order to pull pranks on their teammates?

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Did I say KKK? I meant that the players dress up like the RSPCA! They go around feeding puppy dogs and petting kitty cats…our players are soooooooo cute!!!

Sounds more like a poor choice of words from the Freo assistant coach to me. Come on – this is the twenty-first century! As if anybody would seriously be that insensitive as to parade around in racist paraphernalia these days…

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Um…never mind!

The Sky Is Falling! (Media Street)

The tragic story of two St. Kilda supporters who just can’t go on after their beloved team loses a single game of football in April. What drama!

We can all get a little bit carried away, can’t we. St Kilda lost on Friday night – you may have heard about that – after winning the NAP Cup and opening the regular season with two wins. The loss leaves them in seventh place on the AFL ladder and while coach Ross Lyon agrees that his side was well beaten, he was confident they would bounce back.

No, Ross. NO THEY WON’T! Your team is on the verge of total collapse and unless you listen closely and carefully to all these footy writers, your entire club is going to die!

So now Nick Riewoldt has to answer to all that and defend his team mates while he prepares to play this weekend and kick goals, playing on the ball, a bit on the wing and becoming the new centre half back!

At least Geelong coach Mark Thompson doesn’t believe a word of it…mainly because the Cats play the Saints this Saturday, but also because the deluge of media commentators racing themselves to identify ‘The Biggest Loser’ that week goes typically over the top. Losing happens to eight clubs every single week, they learn stuff about themselves and work to avoid it happening again.

If the Saints do beat Geelong this week, watch out for the commentators racing themselves (again) to profess how Ross Lyon must have listened to their every word. But even if they can’t beat the Cats (join the long queue there), things aren’t that bad at St Kilda…not right now anyway.

If they get towelled up by a Melbourne or Carlton later in the year as they languish in 13th, then the sky is falling. But not now.

Now that St Kilda is not imploding, what else is happening in footy:

Please, No More Talk About Aker’s Bits! (Media Street)

Hey Sammy Lane...Wanna Write A Story About My Coccyx?

Hey Sammy Lane…Wanna Write A Story About My Coccyx?

Last week, it was his butt. On the weekend, it was his nuts. Is it just us or are we all learning just a little bit too much about Jason Akermanis than is required? Thankfully, Robert Harvey has been cleared of any wrongdoing – whether that means anyone can just give them a squeeze or not, who knows?

But the Saints veteran apparently told him to grow up moments after the alleged nut-grapple. Aker – grow up? There’s probably more chance of Matty Knights ordering all 22 of his Essendon players to grab a handful of the guy on Friday night!

Away from testicle matters, let’s look at how that whole League expansion movement is coming along:

In other news that does not involve incestual relations(actually, we’d prefer stories on Aker’s nuts to this!) :