Tag Archives: Ryan Griffin

Sorting The Wheat From The Crap (Septocemia – 2009 AFL Finals Series)



The flowing long locks of Ryan Griffin – perfect product promotion for Garnier Fructis!!


But Nathan Eagleton? Nah, not so much…

Septopia 2009 is all going to script so far. Top two teams in the prelim, bottom two teams on the drink. And now the Brisbane Lions can enjoy a nice shandy or two having been eliminated from the premiership race by the Western Bulldogs. While the game was quite physical at times, it lacked a lot of the tension we saw in three of the four matches last weekend…mainly because the result seemed assured from midway through the first quarter.


Relax everybody, Aker’s ok. But did anybody else kinda secretly enjoy this? Or was it just sadistic little ol’ me?

The Dogs didn’t allow last week’s setback to rattle them and the Lions just weren’t up to it. And that means the 2009 AFL Grand Final is now assured of having at least one participant with a legion of  long-suffering fans that have not seen a premiership for many decades. It’s the Saints and Dogs next Friday night – get ready for a barrage of emotional reportage!

But the early part of next week could well be dedicated to ‘Collingwood Stuffed Up…Again’ if tonight turns to disaster for the Pies. Either way, let’s hope for a less one-sided event than the slow inevitability of last night.


Second Semi Final – MCG, 7:30pm (local): Collingwood v Adelaide (TEN)


Don’t worry Pies fans – that bloke on the left will help the bloke on the right next year.

Collingwood is not the most desirable place to be at the best of times but how sucky would it be if they were eliminated tonight? They lose some big names to injury as well, which usually spells danger but Pendlebury is the only one that will be tough to replace. Apparently Travis Cloke would really love Anthony Rocca out there but he is injured again…plus, doesn’t Travis realise that it is no longer 2002? Clokey has other things to worry about anyway…


Geez, Adelaide are confident…the fans are giving Simon Goodwin a standing ovation as his teammates carry him to the airport!

And why wouldn’t they be! They are in great form and intend on sticking with what works…apart from some ‘fine tuning’ direct from Neil Craig mechanical coaching workshop. Adelaide bring back Shirley and, sorry Jeff Kennett, this will be the closest we ever get to a female playing AFL. The Crows may not run away with the win like they believe they can but timing seems right for a semi final upset.

CROWS by 9


Round Nineteen – Why So Sad?


Why is Bomber Thompson sad? Because he has to actually do some real work in the coaches box nowadays! And his biggest asset just walks around in a suit, sipping water and trying to figure out where his finger has been…

After losing to the finals-bound Blues on Friday night, the Cats are in a little strife but Thompson appears to be keeping a cool exterior. There is no need to panic just yet…but the signs are not great for that second premiership. You wonder whether Bomber sought out Gary Ablett Senior at Geelong’s 150th birthday celebration and asked him what he was up to over the next couple of months? And what kind of shape was he in?


Don’t worry Ross, I’m equally stunned that any competent person would ask you that question!

Why is Ross Lyon sad? He wouldn’t have anything to be sad about, would he? Well, footy must be in a pretty sorry state if some dumb journo actually looked at him with a straight face and seriously used the “T-word” in reference to leaving out injured players! We should be talking about one “D” word…the depth and spirit of St Kilda’s list. Instead, D is for the dunces who are driving this “T-word” debate…which is now so misguided that it is embarrassing. Why?

A) It doesn’t aptly describe what is happening at those clubs who are struggling and in contention for priority draft picks anyway. B) It is now being applied (incorrectly) to any team that fails to field it’s strongest possible line-up, regardless of health status, and/or places a player in a position on the field that (according to the hack) is just slightly different to the way they always play. C) It detracts from the real issue of fans turning up to watch their team play hoping that they will lose…to the point that they are delighted when the opposing team kicks a goal after the siren to snatch victory.

But no…go ahead Herald Sun. Keep that coverage going. Overboard, overblown, over it!


Have you idiots been reading the Herald Sun or something? This Eagles team are actually trying…they’re playing to win! So pull your bloody fingers out!!!

Why is Rodney Eade sad? Actually, he wouldn’t be sad that his top-four side couldn’t beat a bottom-four side at home on Saturday…he would be freakin’ furious!!! This setback now has critics writing off the Doggies as a premiership threat this year but Eade has announced that he is in for the long haul. But will Aker be joining them next year? Not if he keeps dribbling from the mouth like he does


Well, Buddy won’t forget his 100th game in a hurry…former teammate Zac Dawson made damn sure of that!

Why are all the football-loving ladies sad? Lance Franklin’s face has been tainted! Buddy went goalless in his 100th game as his Hawks faced elimination from the finals race and lost his front tooth in a marking contest…that’s a shit day by anyone’s standards! But by the end of the weekend, the tooth was back and the finals, unbelievably, are still within reach. And the ladies still love him!


Hey ladies, where are you going? Why are you running the other way? No female runs from me!!!


Are the Port Adelaide players more concerned about wearing matching speedos than making the finals? Sure looks that way to me!

Why is the number eight sad? It’s not because seven ate nine…nobody wants eight! The last spot in the finals is up for grabs and nobody wants it. Not Hawthorn…not Essendonnot Port Adelaide. It became so farcical that Caroline Wilson dared suggest on 3AW pre-game last Sunday that Richmond, mathematically, could still finish eighth! Of course, they promptly went out and did what Richmond always do. And now the Sydney Swans have a crazy, outside chance at the spot all of a sudden! And to think that one of these sides has to feature in the opening week of the finals…


Bradshaw goal! Bombers gone! Brain hurts!

Why am I sad? I’m sad because having been dealt the potentially season-ending blow of Essendon’s kick-after-the-sirem draw against Brisbane…what was I subjected to on Channel Seven’s Footy Flashback show on Sunday arvo?


1996…Plugger’s Point! Prelim lost! Brain hurts more!

The Games:


Channel Seven pre-game gets all futuristic! But are Juddy and Gazza ‘combat ready’ to take on each other…


Or are they teaming together to fight an army of Agent Smiths from The Matrix?

Whoah…Carlton just beat Geelong? Does this mean that after all this taking the piss out of the Blues for their 2009 marketing slogan, they might actually be coming now? Or are the Cats just going? It’s probably a little from column A and a little from column B…but Carlton’s win column says that they will play finals footy this year! How long until the prehistoric figure of John Elliott resurfaces, attempting to sell some boneheaded theory about how he played some type of role in this resurgence?


From Hawk discard to undefeated Saint key defender…no wonder Zac Dawson is so pumped up!

Hey, whaddaya know? Despite a number of high-profile omissions, a fully committed effort from a confident, ladder-leading club proved to be too good for a bottom-eight side struggling for consistency and cohesion. Why are we all so surprised by this? Because all the mug punters out there dropped the Saints like hot spuds? Well…whoop-de-freakin’-do!  The Perfect Season is still a possibility and, according to the reigning premiership coach, the flag is a high probability. Never thought I’d say this about a team containing Twerp Milne but…good on ’em!


Yes Ryan Griffin, this shit is really happening!

The Bulldogs blew it big time against an improving Eagles outfit that is starting to benefit from exposing their young players to regular senior footy. Apparently, the fact that West Coast had not won interstate since Chris Judd left town was no issue…well, it sure ain’t one now!


No, Sam Lonergan!! NO NO NO!!! SWEET JESUS NO, DON’T DO IT!!!

Lonergan’s blunder in the final twenty seconds allowed the Lions time to find Daniel Bradshaw in the goal square for the match-tying goal. While the draw proved a thrilling end to the match, coach Matthew Knights will be left cursing the one that got away. Sure, Knights can talk about the draw being part of the learning curve for his side…but take a look at the image below taken just after the final siren. Don’t tell me that Knights is whispering the words ‘learning curve’ under his breath!


You reckon this coach is thinking “Learning curve. Learning curve. Learning curve.”? No, neither do I…


Just another stock-standard off-balance one-grab mark for Leon Davis…

Who would have thought that anybody from outside of South Australia would love going to Adelaide so much? Collingwood return to Victoria with another interstate scalp and, thanks to the upstart West Coast Eagles, find themselves in third spot and what currently appears to be the preferred qualifying final opponent of second-placed Geelong rather that first-placed St Kilda.  It could have been the Crows who capitalised on the silly Doggies’ slip-up but now have to face up to their own lost opportunity.


Wonder if Darren had a ‘Barry’ following too many post-victory drinks? Hey, it was his first win as coach – leave him be!

With Australia’s love of rhyming slang, the last thing you want is defeat after defeat when your name is Crocker! Fortunately, interum coach Darren Crocker can finally celebrate a win as the Kangaroos won for the first time in ages. Melbourne were so bad that the Herald Sun decided that they were not “t-wording”…they were just no good!


We all know that when you lose experienced players, clubs like to ‘play the kids’…but surely the Swans are taking this idea a little bit too far!!!

No, they are Michael O’Loughlin’s kids and guiding them through the banner was probably his toughest assignment for the day as Sydney celebrated Mickey O’s 300th with a comprehensive win over Richmond. While the Swans had every reason to feel good about their future, the Tigers went into ‘cultural crisis’ mode as Jade Rawlings called out the players for slipping into long-held bad habits. Benny Gale would understand that culture as well as anybody…so good luck to him. He’ll need it…


This is the guy that inspired the Dockers – but he’s wearing red?

Port Adelaide could have virtually sewn up a finals spot with a win over lowly Fremantle. Of course, they cocked it up! The Dockers never looked like losing against the Power and it was all thanks to Mark Harvey and his pre-match motivation using a former NFL player that none of the players would have ever heard of. Derrick Thomas was a great player for the Kansas City Chiefs…but why didn’t he go choose a Minnesota Vikings player like Fran Tarkenton? At least they wear the same colours…


This is the guy they should have used – somebody who actually won lots of games wearing the colour purple!

The Finals – Week Two (Geekin’ Out – Fantasy Footy)

Collingwood may have got up last week without the ‘sacked’ Alan Didak…but his dumping helped end our Super Coach season!

After being glued in front of the computer all season to keep track of the fortunes of our fantasy footy comps, it was tough going last weekend when we had no idea how any of the three Half Back Flanker squads were performing in the first week of finals action! But we can tell you that none of our teams are playing this weekend.  In the case of our AFL Dream Team and Premium Dream Team leagues, that is great news…we are straight into the preliminary final after big wins. However, it means that it is season over for our Herald Sun Super Coach team!

After a promising build-up to the finals, those stupid, lying Mapgies and Darren Milburn’s suspension have screwed us over in the worst possible way…losing by 74 points to Team Name in the 2nd Elimination Final. We both had Heath Shaw but If Didak and Milburn both play for us, that is probably the difference between winning and losing! Shattered!

So with two prelims to look forward to next weekend, can relax and just enjoy the footy…provided there are no major injuries, of course! But even though they do not face opponents this weekend, a weekly score is still being counted and there is still some activity in each of our squads…

The Week Off

Premium Dream Team: 18,953 points, 77th place overall – cracked the top hundred so even though there is no opponent this week, we will continue to trade players to keep our score ticking over…top fifty?

2nd Qualifying Final: Defeated 3rd placed Fixymatosis Bunnys 2,009 to 1,885 – easily posted the highest score in our league last week, our opponent was the next best. If that trend continues, we might meet again in the grand final.

Good: Ten 100-plus performers this week plus a double-points effort of 198 from Dean Cox. Andrew Mackie and Bryce Gibbs continue to produce big numbers – both over 130 points while the defensive trio of Whelan, Wheatley and Welsh were nabbed from the free agents list and all topped the ton this week!

Bad: Our Bulldogs representatives are struggling with 50’s from Griffin and Hargreaves while we fear for Matthew Richardson making it all the way to round 22 – managing just a 50 last week and is every chance to sit out the last couple fo games once Richmond’s finals hopes are dashed.

Ugly: Injuries to Eagles duo Hansen and Wirrpanda reducing their output last week and now both out of action this week.

2nd Preliminary Final: Winner of BatterdSosage (1,578 last week) and Big Gunz (1,740 last week) – Big Gunz have Brad Miller and Brendon Lade back this week while BatterdSosage has injury concerns with Jono Brown and Simpson…could be facing the fifth-placed Big Gunz next week!

Potential changes/trades: Even with the week off, we were not prepared to hold onto forwards Hansen and Wirrpanda even though they might only be missing for one match. So they are both gone and into the team comes Stuart Dew (117 last week) and Jarrod Harbrow (98 last week).  If they both perform well this round, we may hold onto them for the prelim final. We have also just traded Ryan Griffin for the in-form Daniel Wells (108 last week, 94 average).

Will the addition of Daniel Wells help us into a grand final next weekend?

Dream Team: 35,170 points, 8,693th place overall – decent jump inside the top ten thousand and with the opportunity to further boost the squad, our overall place might improve even more over the next three weeks.

1st Qualifying Final: Defeated 4th placed Heroes2 2,031 to 1,894 – also posted the highest score in our league to earn a prelim final berth.

Good:  Nine 100-plus performers last week; five of those from the forward line including a big return to form for Brad Johnson (124). Add to this a pair of 90’s from captain Kane Cornes (192) and Cox (99).

Bad: 50 or less from a hobbled Richo, Urquhart and Ibbotson while Griffin and Dalziell didn’t fare much better.

Ugly: With Osborne missing again, four of our starting defenders are good (Ibbotson, Urquhart, Nicoski and Dempster) but far from elite. To win it all, we need Osborne back and at least one upgrade in defence.

1st Preliminary Final: Winner of Moolias (1,725 last week) and Whysie Boi (1,740 last week) – Moolias might struggle with Richmond’s Nathan Brown joining Tippett and Porplyzia on the sidelines but while Whysie Boi will again miss Milburn, Eddie Betts will be back.

Potential changes/trades: Nothing this week but will be keeping fingers crossed that injury does not affect us greatly this weekend. Even though we have three trades and $147,600 left, we would prefer to use that to strengthen a few weaknesses – not replace injured stars!

A healthy Richo would be a massive boost to our premiership tilt!

Happy Birthday Rocket! (Round Three – Hate Ya Guts!)

Happy Birthday Rocket

You remembered my birthday! Awww shucks, you boys are sooo nice…

At quarter time last night, it appeared that Hate Ya Guts round would start with a fizzer. With big names like Riewoldt, Koschitzke and Gehrig towering over their opponents, the highly-fancied Saints were firing and the Dogs couldn’t buy a goal or a free kick. 3AW caller Rex Hunt even pronounced the game as being over (via his ‘Fat-Lady’) after just fifteen minutes – for what its worth (um…not much).

But, as we all know, a lot can happen in four quarters of footy – which is why games are not played on paper, nor in the mind of delusional loud-mouthed fishermen! With Ryan Griffin running amok and Jason Akermanis packing more junk in his trunk, the Dogs went nuts for the next three quarters to remain unbeaten and celebrate another milestone in style – coach Rodney Eade’s 50th birthday.

Gee, the Dogs love a milestone game – Rocket Eade last night, Brad Johnson in round one…who’s turn is it next week? It must be Scott West’s 50th birthday soon!

Hate Ya Guts Round continues today with four matches:


Living In The Seventies

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Hawthorn (TEN)


Give Him One!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:10pm (local): West Coast v Fremantle (FOX)

MCG, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Essendon v Carlton (TEN)
  • A true rivalry, Essendon and Carlton have been at it for over 100 years having played each other 226 times, the Blues holding a 117-105 edge with four draws. The Bombers have won 10 of the 19 meetings in finals, including the 1993 grand final by the ‘Baby Bombers’.
  • With sixteen flags each, Essendon and Carlton share the record for the most VFL/AFL premierships. Nowadays, wins are a lot harder to come by..and premierships? Maybe next decade!
  • But of all the Essendon-Carlton clashes, the one that every fan talks about (or runs away to quietly convulse in the corner) is the 1999 preliminary final! The Blues will no doubt draw on that for inspiration – well, there has been little else to celebrate since then.
  • Except for any time they beat Essendon, which usually occurs once per year despite Carlton’s recent woes. Last year’s meeting was no exception – the Blues recording the biggest comeback in their long history to win by under a goal. So you can bet something crazy will happen today!



GABBA, Brisbane – 7:40pm (local): Brisbane v Sydney (FOX)