Tag Archives: Sport

Round Seventeen – Oh So Bitter!

AfterSiren

Hawthorn thought they had the upper hand over rivals Geelong…until Bartel’s point after the siren changed everything!

Rivalry round. It kinda snuck up on us a bit…probably because the League didn’t seem to dedicate a lot of time on promoting the event. They did create a web page where you can spend lots of money on sponsors product that you either already have or don’t really need! So that’s something…I guess.

But, as you would expect, the footy did all the talking and the weekend delivered some outstanding games. Not always pretty, some downright ugly, but never boring! And the level of some of these rivalries has now intensified to greater levels after round seventeen action.

NeonLeon

No doubting who is number one right now in the Collingwood-Carlton rivalry. It’s Neon Leon and the Pies!

Geelong and Hawthorn added another exhilarating chapter to their playing history…but this time it was the Cats who got one over the Hawks. Sure, it wasn’t a grand final but a big win just the same. Collingwood got one over Carlton in one of the longest standing rivalries in the game. And while all the heritage-listed footy journos in Melbourne might scoff at the thought that the rivalry between the Crows and Power is the biggest right now, they may have a point. There was no talk about revenge in the lead up to Pies verses Blues…or ‘The Death Derby’! Only in Adelaide…

DogsBench

Whoops! Scott Welsh’s screw-up made the Doggies interchange bench a very intense place to be…

That long-standing rivalry between modern technology and a footballer’s brain came to the fore on Saturday night when failure to read a magnetic whiteboard resulted in 19 Western Bulldogs starting on the ground in the final quarter! The battle between player and umpire also intensified with Hawk coach Alastair Clarkson wondering whether Buddy Franklin will receive a free kick any time soon. And the League flat out refuses to concede defeat in the battle for respectability in the football world regarding the priority draft pick system. Andy D is not afraid to take on his rivals in this one…but there are so damn many of them, would he even have the time?

MaherStuffup

This post-match interview was TV so bad that you couldn’t look away…so expect Channel Nine buy it and make it a 20-episode series!

But our favourite new rivalry was started by an innocent but talkative boundary rider after the Cats-Hawks game…it’s Cancer verses Depression! Channel Ten’s Andy Maher conducted a highly awkward post-match interview with Geelong captain (for the day) Cameron Ling where he babbled on about the importance of playing for the BeyondBlue cup. But, according to Maher, BeyondBlue  are assisting in the fight against cancer! Ling did his absolute best to remain composed before correcting Maher that BeyondBlue is actually the national depression initiative! Ling then explained why it was such a prominent issue for people in Geelong right now! Probably not the best time to stuff that one up on live TV…

That was followed by an equally awkward presentation where the lady with the cup was completely ignored, only given a short “pass it over” command from Maher before she just wandered off…which Ling probably wished he could have done as well! Good to see that the rivalry between the footy media and the English language is still alive and well…

The Games:

MagpieMark

“Marriage proposal, wedding day, birth of a child…forget it! Marking the footy after a Collingwood goal will be the happiest moment of this Magpie fan’s entire life!

So, how is that top-four finish for Carlton looking now? And how could a story like that run in The Age and not be written by Blues lover Robert Walls? At least Wallsy is a realist…predicting that Collingwood would find more goal scorers and hold steady in defence against the Fev-focused Carlton. Spot on. It wasn’t pretty though and Brett Ratten should have plenty of kicking drills in mind for his boys this week!

BartelCelebrates

Geelong have won a shitload of games recently but they would have never celebrated a victory so much since grand final day in 2007!

James Bartel…you friggin’ beauty! Geelong come from 28 points down in the final term to beat Hawthorn with a point after the siren. The Cats may have injuries galore but wins like this can do wonders for their self belief. The Hawks may have let more than just four points slip on Saturday…the premiership defence might just have ended as well!

SandilandsMedal

211cm Aaron Sandilands…a tough assignment for opposing ruckmen and presenters-draping-medals-over-his-head alike!

Hard to believe that Fremantle could have a mental advantage over anybody but it’s starting to look that way with the Western Derby. The Dockers have now won five straight against the West Coast after winning a tight one by less than a kick. Apparently the win is a great indicator for what Freo can achieve in the future…yep, like we have never heard that about the Dockers! Still waiting…


MilneSucks

If this guy ends up a winner on Grand Final day, and it’s looking very likely, I will throw up a little in my mouth…

If, like me, you made the trendy pick of the Bulldogs to end St Kilda’s quest for The Perfect Season…then you must be feeling as stupid as I do right now! The Saints dominated early, weathered the storm in the middle and ran riot in the end. And now they are going to win every game on their way to the flag and that little twerp Stephen Milne will become…don’t make me type it…a premiership player! What a terrifying thought!!! Next game, quickly…

BrownyRules

Finals footy, Coleman medals…Jonathan Brown has missed out recently but is just about to get all that back again!

Jono Brown goes berserk with eight goals as the Brisbane Lions cruise past North Melbourne to pretty much ensure themselves a spot in the finals. Browny is now looking good for the Coleman medal having overtaken Brendan Fevola at the top of the goal kicking list – which would be a fair result considering one of those blokes tries his guts out every week and doesn’t sulk it up…and the other clearly doesn’t!

SydneyMelbourne

This is probably the highlight of the Sydney-Melbourne match…that there was a final score and it was over!

The rivalry between Sydney and Melbourne, or more generally New South Wales and Victoria, has been alive and well in all aspects of life, especially sports, for over 100 years…except for AFL footy! The Swans and Demons don’t have any semblance of intense rivalry – hence this match being played in front of a few thousand curious onlookers in Canberra. Sydney won, by the way…

TigersVictory

They blew it last week and they almost blew it this week too…but the Tigers finally get to belt out that kick-ass club song again!

It’s a Monday night, the last day in August, and the Essendon players will be pissed, tired, emotional and dressed up  in women’s clothing or whatever it is they do at the end of season party. If they start to wonder why they are not planning for an elimination final game that weekend, they have Sunday’s effort to thank! Richmond wins and they thoroughly deserve it…

BirdmanFlies

Hey, I remember you…you’re Brett “The Birdman” Burton!!! Welcome back.

The Adelaide Crows take the honours in the Showdown and become the toast of the town…much to the delight of a large majority of that town! A 70-point win, Brett Burton back doing what he does best, damaging Port’s chances at sneaking into the finals and the opportunity to laugh at Chad Cornes -Rivalry Round could not have been any more perfect for Crows fans.

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Round Thirteen – An Unlucky Number For Some!

LovettClimb

Unlucky number 13? Not for Andrew Lovett…it’s his incredibly f$@#ing lucky number!

It is an unlucky number for some people. In fact, fear of the number 13 is officially recognised as a fair dinkum phobia! It’s called Triskaidekaphobia…and clearly Brendon Fevola suffers from it if Friday night is any indication. Actually, he must have plenty of phobias that have caused him to not give a shit during various games in his career. The poor bloke…

NineNaitanui

Speaking of lucky numbers, Nick Naitanui makes it great to love the West Coast number 9 again!

Obviously, nobody from Geelong or St Kilda is afflicted with Triskaidekaphobia as both clubs have started the season undefeated with thirteen straight wins. They face each other next week…you might be made aware of it this week. Approximately 458 times! So beware…

LatestPunch

Ah, Barry? Are you serious? Are you that bloody stupid? Yep. appears so!

Adelaide’s Ben Rutten was also a little unlucky on Saturday when his number was drawn out at random in the Barry Hall Brain Fade Sweepstakes. First prize was a smack in the head! Hall has done worse during his career; much, much worse; but you can pretty much guarantee that the number of AFL games he has left with the Swans is less than thirteen!

WarrenBreak

Sure I just broke my leg but…man, this pain whistle is freakin’ awesome! I’m the luckiest man alive!!!

Once the morphine wears off, young Roo Ben Warren will be feeling more than a touch unlucky. Jade Rawlings will now be feeling a little bit unlucky…that his side doesn’t play the West Coast Eagles in Melbourne every week. But the unluckiest people from last week…Michael Jackson fans who had bought tickets for his comeback tour! And don’t forget the Farrah Fawcett fans too…

The Games:

FevDenial

Hey, none of this is my fault! If you pricks just kicked the ball exactly where I want it every single time, I can just kick goals and be a legend. So wake up to yourselves boys!!!

Look out, Carlton is coming…undone! Essendon destroyed the Blues by 69 points in front of a massive crowd at the ‘G on a night where the Bombers could do no wrong. Even their bad news was relatively good. The loss caused major embarrassment for the favoured Blues and the coach might be getting a little fed up with his flakey, disinterested, sook-arse full forward. Would they dare drop him? Yeah, right!

RoosBazza

Well, you guys try telling Barry that he’s being a dickhead…I’m not gunna do it! Do you think I’m crazy?!

Barry Hall and Sydney hit Adelaide with everything they had but the Crows fought back late to win a vital game that could just about sink the Swans for 2009. With the freakish Brett Burton due back shortly, the Crows appear finals bound…and no team would want to visit the city of Adelaide in September!

HeathShaw

Heath Shaw shows that it’s much better to fly than to lie!

See what happens when the dickhead element at a footy club is reigned in? Pay attention Carlton and Sydney! Swan, Didak and Shaw come up big as the Pies bulldoze Fremantle in the second half and stick it to all those nasty, nasty critics. The Dockers also lost Matthew Pavlich to injury and are fast running out of excuses. Nah, Mark Harvey will come up with a few more yet…

HappyVoss

Unhappy? Vossy looks fairly happy to me…but then he has always been pretty pleased with himself!

Melbourne may have picked first in the 2008 draft but Brisbane may have been the biggest winner by selecting Daniel Rich. The Lions were also easy winners on Saturday night as the Demons continue to stink up the competition. But fear not, loyal Dees fans – Gary Lyon will come back soon and fix everything…as if he would leave his cushy media gigs to coach that lot!

BlondeFinger

Charming! But she was right…LeCras missed the shot so it was only worth one finger.

Hawthorn’s attempt to defend their 2008 premiership was already looking shaky….and it just got a whole lot worse! Nic Naitanui, the Fijian-born rookie who did stuff-all for three quarters, sparked the West Coast Eagles with three final quarter goals for a famous win that leaves the Hawks in all sorts of bother. Once John Worsfold figures out what to make of the kid, he should be a beauty!

ComfyUndies

Yes, Mrs Murdoch, I am wearing Bonds! They’re very comfy undies!

Geelong warm up for the St Kilda game with a cruisey win over Port Adelaide and continue to put together an amazing sequence of sustained awesomeness. Mark Thompson has now extended his contract for another couple of seasons…wonder how many milliseconds he took to mull over that one? Mark Williams, on the other hand, must be pissed that his contract situation is blowing up in the midst of his team’s sucky streak. That’s probably why he has gone into Terry Wallace salesman mode in order to save his own arse…

StacksOn

STACKS ON!!!

It was a hard slog, and the coach thought they were a little bit sleepy, but the Westen Bulldogs stayed in the box seat for a top four spot with a win over the Crockeroos. The new North Melbourne coach was pleased with the direction his team was taking and one rookie in particular. Well, he didn’t break his leg so that gives him an edge over their other first year players!

MaxBaby

Sorry Max, it’s too late to take you to the hospital…we have to deliver this baby right here, right now!

If you’d have said that one team would fail to kick a goal in the first quarter of the St Kild-Richmond game, it would have to be Richmond, right? Wrong! The Saints were down two goals to zip at quarter time! Of course, they responded by keeping the Tigers away from goal for about 90 minutes or so and kept their unbeaten reord intact for another week. Now they play Geelong and coach Ross Lyon is getting excited…if he is, it might just be for the first time in his life!

Round Twelve – What Happened Again?

JuddBlood

Mmm…tasty! Friday night viewing at its finest starring Chris Judd

TwigsJudd

But not even the prospect of a blood-splattered reunion could keep his girlfriend away. Now that is true love!

Wow, that split round seems to drag on forever, doesn’t it! Feels like an age between Juddy’s face explosion on Friday June 12th and Cam Mooney brain explosions yesterday at Subiaco. Can barely remember most of what happened in between. If only one could find some kind of pictorial montage to help jog the memory…

Hmmm…

SevenTypo

Looks like the guy responsible for captions at Channel Seven took time off during the split round! Wonder who filled in for him and came up with this howler? My money is on David Schwarz…

KerrCousins

Ben Cousins and Daniel Kerr reflecting on old times…the ones they can remember, of course!

SelwoodShoulder

If you thought Juddy’s nose made you a little squeamish, how did you go when the Brisbane medicos popped Troy Selwood’s shoulder back into place!

BrawshawMedia

Sorry, did you say $800,000? How is this guy going to find enough money to pay Nathan Buckley to coach his club?

MalthouseCake

Well done, Mick. Remember – if the knife touches the bottom, you have to kiss the nearest boy! Now imagine if Buckley was the coach…Eddie would bring cake every week!!!

The Games:

ZacAttack

Suffer in ya jocks, Hawthorn! Hawk reject Zac Dawson actually kicks a goal of his own that helps sink Carlton and keeps St Kilda unbeaten after 12 rounds.

TigersSong2

Anyone ever associated with the Richmond Football Club joins in to sing the song after they beat West Coast. Well, it rarely happens so let them have their fun!

CoolroomDarwin

The Doggies took a nice trip to Darwin, chilled out inside a coolroom and they destroyed Port Adelaide during the split round. It was like they have just had two weeks off…lucky them!

BrownyVoss

Great win by the Lions…and you just know that whatever Browny is drinking there, it sure ain’t Powerade!!!

MolloyLaidley

Dean Laidley’s wild week started with an important trip to Adelaide…it ended with a sudden resignation and a visit from Mick Molloy! Rough week…

McVeighRivers

Very predictable result on Friday night. Melbourne = shit, Essendon = promising, Mark McVeigh = dumb!

BarryThumbsUp

I tipped Sydney to win, I have Scott Pendlebury in my fantasy team and I don’t like Collingwood very much. What a shitty Saturday night! Thumbs down, Barry. Thumbs down!

MooneySitter

They keep racking up win after win but any time a Geelong forward misses a sitter in front of goals, that’s the story right there! Especially when this hairy bloke is involved…

Round Eleven – The Excitement Builds In Western Sydney

WesternSydney

The suburbs of western Sydney look exactly like this year’s NAB ad…well, it would if you removed every single Sherrin!

Half Back Flanker went on a bit of a field trip for round eleven of the AFL season and ventured out into the Aussie rules footballing hotbed that could well be soon on the receiving end of the 18th AFL franchise. I thought it might be nice to gauge the levels of excitement and anticipation from the millions of  residents in the west of Sydney as they count down to the arrival of their very own AFL club.

Well, having left Sydney and returned to Swine Flu Central…I can’t say that Sydney’s west is exactly swept up in AFL fever. It was like round eleven never actually happened! Not exactly sure why Andy D is so gung-ho about expanding into western Sydney..no, actually I am – there are a shitload of people out there! And they are watching plenty of footy. But let me tell you something…they ain’t watching our game!

If you wanted to talk to the locals about how the Tigers died in the arse during the second half on Friday Night football, they would have agreed. But they are talking the Wests Tigers in the NRL…not Richmond! And while the coach of the West Tigers might be in trouble, at least he still has a job…and he actually won something during his time there. Terry Wallace has neither of those things

Terry Farewell

Richmond fans in western Sydney had to stay up past 2am on Saturday morning to watch Terry Wallace coach the Tigers to the last loss of his career.

And just say that you were keen to check out the Tigers-Doggies game and lived in western Sydney – you had to wait until after 11pm for the start of the match on Channel Seven. The Friday night marquee event AFL game and a massive audience in the largest growth area in Australia that has been targeted to adopt your code…and they are the last group of people in the entire country to see it?

And things didn’t improve on Saturday either. The ladder-leading Saints had another win? Nuh, they didn’t play until Monday night and they (being St George Illawarra) lost to the Gold Coast. And if you settled down in the family home to watch the action on a Saturday night, no AFL either. It was rugby union between the Wallabies and Barbarians…where the Lions were British, not Brisbane, and the Blues were from Auckland, not Carlton. If you went to the pub for some pay TV footy action, it was all about Johnathan Thurston and his Cowboys – not Toby Thurstans and the victorious Port Adelaide!

At least we saw some AFL action on Sunday with the Sydney Swans playing Hawthorn…it was live and everything. Sure, every pub with a TV had the rugby league on but those with a second screen were showing the Swannies. Sure enough, the Swans lost; in part to a classic Barry Hall brain-snap; and big bad Bazza has pretty much been the only AFL coverage in the Sydney media for the next three days.

BazzaMitchell

Another Barry brain-snap…but it’s probably the only way to keep AFL and the Swans in the Sydney papers!

Say what you like about the hot-headed Swans spearhead but if it wasn’t for Barry Hall doing stupid things on a regular basis, the term ‘AFL’ would barely be uttered up there. Gary Ablett and the Cats keep tearing up the competition…read the scores in the paper the following day. The Crows and Bombers put on a great show with some spectacular goals…didn’t watch or listen to a second of it! Probably just as well for me…

And how about the latest teenage whizkid to hit the big time! Huh, who the hell is Jack Watts? They are talking about rising Wallabies star James O’Connor and his selection in the best rugby team in the country. They wouldn’t have the first idea about Watts making his highly (try ‘overly’) publicised debut for the worst team in the league – which just happened to coincide with Melbourne’s home game blockbuster against the biggest crowd drawing team. What a funny coincidence…

So, despite the miserable skies and hail storms greeting me at the airport, it was great to arrive back at the home of AFL football and catch up on what happened in round eleven. The guy behind the success at the Swans has doubts about the new Sydney club…and after my experience last weekend, I would have to agree.

Round Seven – Mind Your Head!

TigerCarnage

Shit…it actually hurts just looking at them, doesn’t it!

Damn! I’m still wincing from the sight of Richmond’s Alex Rance and Brisbane’s Troy Selwood clashing heads at the ‘G on Saturday afternoon…that shit was nasty! Selwood was knocked into next week, had to be assisted off the ground and sat out the rest of the game. He was the lucky one.

Rance was stretchered from the field and taken straight to hospital, his freaked-out parents by his side. The young Tiger came away with a fractured cheekbone but should be back in a few weeks to put his head in dangerous places once again.

Another bloke who continually puts his head in a dangerous place (that is, out in public), is Rance’s current coach Terry Wallace. Richmond lost again, the Pretty Picture Paper tried to get him sacked immediately and some knob from the nufty factory that is Channel Nine questions whether he even gives a shit about his job any more.

WallaceKnob

How Terry walked away without slamming this Channel Nine reporter’s head in the door is beyond me…

What fine journalism by the young brainiac who did the football media equivalent of leaving a burning paper bag filled with dog poo on the Punt Road door step, knocking on the door and running away. But on that form, he is destined to become the next Tony Jones and/or Craig Hutchison. Great! Just what we need…

Speaking of the nufty factory, Monday night football was the latest experiment to be held by the League as they explore ways to incorporate nine matches per round when GC17 and WS18 are artificially brought to life. Sure, it was on Channel Seven last night but if this timeslot becomes a regular fixture in years to come, it really does have a wanky, over-hyped Channel Nine feel to it. And if the League hopes to milk as much cash as possible from the next media rights agreement, they better prey that the nufty factory comes to the party.

The Games:

BuddyFlummoxed

Buddy checks out the scoreboard and refuses to believe that his team is actually behind Essendon at quarter time. It only got worse from there…

The Bombers have been getting all nostalgic this week and it just may have helped inspire them to an upset win over bitter 80’s rivals Hawthorn. Though it would be fair to say that the Hawks are far from firing on all cylinders, Essendon are far from full strength and have four wins already. Speaking of full strength, they face St Kilda next…that might tell us more about the Dons.

BloodyJackson

What is with Richmond players breaking their faces this weekend?

Richmond are starting to look ahead to life without Matthew Richardson… unfortunately, that life looks exactly the same as it has with Richo there. That is – not very good! Brisbane tough it out and claim victory at the MCG, leaving Terry Wallace threatening players with the axe. Well, he should probably do some sacking of his own before it happens to him

BarryHall

Barry Hall contemplates giving up football so he can take up boxing and start legitimately hitting people for money!

Paul Roos thought that Geelong would still be a tough task without the brilliant Gary Ablett. He thought right! The Cats remain undefeated as they brush the Swans aside, Roosy counting the cost of poor ball use. The Cats also shut Barry Hall out of the game, making him look like a pro boxer who plays footy on the side rather than the other way around. At least the two sports didn’t merge on him this week…

ElvisLives

Look – Elvis Lives…and he resides on the Gold Coast! Thank you very much, Warwick!

The classy folk of the Gold Coast were on hand to witness three in a row for Fremantle. No, not losses…and no, not denials by Matthew Pavlich that he would ever, ever leave the club. The Dockers have actually won three games of football in a row. I know, how crazy is that! Carlton let another winnable game slip and the coach is blaming the handball…though I would have thought it had more to do with Fev doing stuff-all! But Brett Ratten did also say his boys need to grow up…ok, now he’s talking about Fev.

TazFev

Fremantle won the match, Carlton took the money but who won this battle of the minds…Chris Tarrant or Brendan Fevola? Must have been a nil-all draw!

MoneyKids

The Kangas in financial strife? Bulltwang! Just look at their fans…they are loaded!!!

It hasn’t been the best of seasons for North Melbourne…and that was before ex-AFL head honcho Wayne Jackson had them merging with the Demons! But they did manage a win on Saturday night…and a very good win at that! Port go home empty handed with sore shoulders and a pissed-off Mark Williams…that’s one flight home I wouldn’t want to be on!

BulldogsAway

Sunday was a triumph for the Bulldogs…and a tragedy for haters of crappy white away jumpers!

The Western Bulldogs hadn’t won for a while and the trip to AAMI Stadium is usually a daunting task. Not this time, however. The powers of belief in the mind of Rodney Eade propelled the Doggies to a big win over the Crows. What were they worried about? It looks like the people who should be worried are Adelaide fans…and don’t say that Neil Craig didn’t warn you!

Coming into this match, I had tipped one result out of six for the round. So when Melbourne held a slender lead in the third quarter, I was preparing for a complete tipping disaster! But the Eagles spared my blushes by hitting the front and then holding off a dogged Demons outfit. Dean Bailey must be pleased with their endeavournot so pleased with the injury toll.

MalthouseSearch

Mick and his trusty binoculars embark on a desperate quest to find a Collingwood forward. No luck, I’m afraid!

It’s Monday night footy. It’s prime time. The glamour, the excitement…and Collingwood kick only one goal in the first half? Sure, half their forward line was missing and the other half was Anthony Rocca but…one goal in a half? The Saints continue to demolish every team they face; next victim…Essendon. Even with three extra days to prepare, the Bombers are in serous trouble!

Say It Ain’t So! (Media Street)

workmanricho1

Richo prepares for life after football…as a construction worker? A truck driver? A lollipop lady perhaps?

Imagine a world without Richo doing something stupid on the footy field that makes us all smile! I can’t… Sure – he’s out for at least three months with a hamstring tendon injury and everybody is talking life without Richo. But I’m just not ready yet…and I don’t even follow the Tigers!

lucaselbow

Scotty must be a little distracted at the moment…just look at that freakin’ elbow! That would put me off my footy…

Imagine a world without Scotty Lucas ignoring the handball and players in better position to take pot shots at goals within 80 metres of the big sticks! I can’t…but maybe I should start. Lucas “rested” from the Essendon side after a horror start to the season and who knows when he will be back?

anthonyheadbutt

Honey please, I can explain…it’s NOT what it looks like!!!

Imagine a world where you can’t slyly headbutt your opponent in the nuts as you get up off the ground! I can’t…but the League doesn’t appear to be overly keen on it. John Anthony outed for a groin headbutt and will miss the Monday night blockbuster against the undefeated Saints. Will somebody please ask Mick Malthouse in his next press conference what it feels like to lose a key player for a vital game who thrusted his head into the ghoulies of another man?

ablettmedalmiss

Oh, it’s going to happen to Gary Ablett again this year! Poor bloke…

Imagine a world where Gazza Junior is not pipped at the post on Brownlow night after missing a few games due to injury! I’m trying…I’m really trying. But it’s happening again, isn’t it! I can hear that massive room filled with pissed footballers groaning in unison already…

Round Six – When The VFL Came Back To Life

cousinsice

Yes – these are the legs of Ben Cousins. Yes – they are covered in ice. No – he is not injured. No – we will not make any obvious Ben Cousins/ice jokes today. Sorry ’bout that…

With two derby games, the reigning premiers taking on the rising stars and two undefeated teams cutting a swathe through the competition, round six should have been all about the AFL. But when you have a Ben Cousins sighting near a footy field (or anywhere for that matter), that seems to take precedence somehow…

As it did on Saturday afternoon when Benny donned the red and blue of Coburg in the VFL to test his dodgy hamstring as he works his way back to fitness and a place in the Richmond midfield. He showed up, he ran around, touched the ball a few times and finished the afternoon on the bench with his lower half covered in ice.

vflbrawl

Players from both teams fight with the gathered media in an attempt to sell their ‘Day With Ben Cousins’ story to the highest bidder.

Oh yeah, and there was a massive brawl! It was more like a massive pushy, shovey melee than an actual brawl but hey  – Ben Cousins was there, so let’s describe it as a brawl because it sounds more violent and bar-roomish (is that a word? It is now!). Not entirely accurate but very dramatic…

These stories were almost the lead items in Melbourne news last Saturday night. No kidding! A rare win for the VFL over the AFL…though if the powers-that-be continue to be unnecessarily full-on and pedantic, the VFL could be the only league us cyber-types will be allowed to talk about!

The Games:

bucksandmick

Two of the most talked about figures in footy go one-on-one in a scintillating TV interview…where they cover not one of the topics that any of us are interested in. YAWN…

Collingwood didn’t let the Anzacs down this week after easing past the Argentinian national team on Friday night. The Kangas continue to be hit by injury while Mick Malthouse, as usual, still managed to find something to whine about in victory. This time it was his call for substitute players after an early injury to Paul Medhurst…I’m sure Mick was equally concerned when David Hille wrecked his knee in the second minute last week.

shatteredfev

Last year it was 99 goals, now he’s blown it by hitting the post! Maybe Fev is destined to be a ‘so close yet so far’ kinda guy…

It should be all about Jarryd Roughead, who kicked eight in a winning side, but the Carlton-Hawthorn game will be all about Brendon Fevola! On the day Carlton’s premiership credentials were questioned due to their reliance on the Fev, he went from legend to loser when his shot at a ninth (and match winning) goals hit the post. The Hawks might consider themselves lucky to get the win but they should be extremely fortunate that they don’t rely on Fev to win them games every week!

haselbyemotional

An emotional Paul Hasleby praying that this win by Fremantle will convince Matthew Pavlich to never piss off back to Adelaide!

Western Australian footy fans love the western derby and they got another good one, this time it was Fremantle who came away with the win. They needed a second half fightback to do it too…though some wayward kicking by the Eagles certainly left the door open. Matthew Pavlich clocked up his 200th game in style…so maybe he will want to hang around after all!

gabbaflood

Brisbane takes flooding to a whole new level at the Gabba on Saturday night.

Brisbane may have been shite last week but the Gabba is far from Kardinia Park…and Essendon are far from Geelong! The young Lions, with the help of Browny, cruised to victory and helped spoil the party for 300-gamer Dustin Fletcher. At least Fletch received a nice momento to take home from the evening…a nice little leg fracture and several weeks on the sideline!

fletcherchaired

How many Bombers does it take to carry an old bloke with a fractured leg back to the sheds?

chadboots

Is there any explanation why Chad Cornes would wear two different coloured boots that wouldn’t make him sound like a knob? Doubt it…

Yee-haw…it’s another Hoedown win for Port Adelaide! The Crows fail to fire in the biggest game for the state of  South Australia in what the coach described as their worst loss of the season…though they still have four months left to top that effort! Port look like they are headed back the finals this season on this form but would Mark Williams hang around to coach next year for less money? Hmmm…

mattnertackle

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick…but Jack is not quicker than Marty Mattner!

The Sydney Swans secure a hard fought win thanks to Mattner’s great tackle and their new foreign recruit Mike Pyke…a ruckman from Canada, eh? Richmond were gallant in defeat but have still only won once this season – so, naturally, Terry Wallace is talking finals footy at Punt Road. Gee, we are really going to miss Terry when he is gone, aren’t we!

ablettgroin

Gary Ablett? Injury scare? Then why is this guy not wrapped head to toe in ice like Benny Cousins was? Don’t Geelong care?

Geelong win over Melbourne…check! New record for possessions by the Cats…check! Keeping Gary Ablett fresh and injury free…maybe not! Brownlow punters might be shitting themselves right now but lil’ Ablett has been so good that he can afford to miss a week or two and take out the medal anyway. And good on Jimmy Stynes giving it to the likes of Jeff Kennett and Sam Newman about their stance on umpiring…though the Dees have more chance of making the finals than those blokes have of actually listening to anybody!

Great match-up, shitty timeslot! The Saints-Doggies game kinda got lost a little without the prime-time, free-to-air spotlight it deserved. The Dogs should be grateful! St Kilda remain unbeaten after a solid win and while they are not talking flags just yet, at least the hype appears to have plenty of substance this year…provided they kick straight!