Tag Archives: tunnelling

Round Two – Australia, You Bloody Beauty!

Go Aussie Go Eureka

(Source: australiaday.gov.au)

Last week saw the start of the AFL season and The Great Unveiling. Now, with Richmond and North Melbourne launching the Eureka Match on Sunday- a tribute to the Australian workers – let’s take this opportunity to celebrate some other significant events in our nation’s history. Welcome to ‘Australia You Bloody Beauty’ round!

From milestone moments to amazing sporting victories, every match this weekend will be played in honour of the achievements and endeavours that makes our friendly little island the envy of the world! Sure, we like to wee in public a bit…but we really are a great nation! And is there a better way to celebrate than with eight games of footy?



LIONS by 18: Brisbane in a close one…provided Jono Brown is fully hydrated after last week’s game. That’s no guarantee though – we doubt that water would be Browny’s drink of choice.

DOGS by 8: Those fans who bother to turn up will be treated to a better contest than most are expecting…though it’s hard to see Melbourne actually winning.

CROWS by 25: Andrew McLeod reckons they will go on the attack this week…for our tips sake, let’s hope the wayward Nathan Bock is in defence!

SAINTS by 45: Carlton will need to do more than just tunnelling on Nick Riewoldt in order to stop the Saints…can we suggest they try some pipe-jacking?

DOCKERS by 26: Well…if Hawthorn win, the local media will be asking some tough questions and Mark Harvey will end up stabbing a journo in the eye with a pen! And we don’t want that to happen now, do we? Do we?

SWANS by 5: The Swans are still planning to use that grind-it-out style of play…yep, that’ll bring the crowds in!

CATS by 30: Essendon are full of belief and the Cats won’t have their best line-upbut…come on, it’s Geelong!

TIGERS by 11: If this was the reaction to last week’s victory, imagine what’s going to happen if they win two in a row? Potentially, that’s a lot of wee!

Tonight’s action:


Get Married, Move To Queensland

GABBA, Brisbane – 7:40pm (local): Brisbane v Collingwood (SEVEN)


Stay Away From Nick Riewoldt’s Underground Passage!(Media Street)

Are You There Nick? 

Nick? Are you down there? Can you hear us?

Tunnelling. Nick Riewoldt doesn’t like it. Matthew Richardson doesn’t like either. Craig Bolton has never even heard of it…and apparently he’s an expert. Yep, it’s this week’s Football In Crisis issue! So, what the heck is this tunnelling business anyway?

Sydney Game Plan

EXCLUSIVE: Sydney’s New Game Plan

Tunnelling occurs when a forward flies for a mark and the defender takes out the player’s legs whilst in the air. This happened more than once to Nick Riewoldt when Craig Bolton ran under him in the St Kilda-Sydney game, leaving him…well, shafted basically! 

Even though Riewoldt’s spectacular falls were by far the most interesting thing to happen in that game on Saturday night, the Saints are making a formal complaint about what they see as a deliberate tactic. The Swans are feeling victimisedagain.

So, what’s going to happen? The League will say that this was not a deliberate tactic but the umpires will start awarding free kicks on defenders standing under the airborne forward…starting right now. Well, they should have blown the whistle on these incidents with Riewoldt in the first place but clearly, the umps were too busy awarding frees for in-the-back to players who flop forward the instant a tackler makes contact.

Either way, if you think that Nick Riewoldt gets his fair share of free kicks already…you ain’t seen nothing yet!

In non-tunnelling news:

Who Said Coaching Is Hard? (The Lost Weekend)

Not Kevin 

Well done today boys… but next week, try not to call me Kevin, ok!

The Great Unveiling finished up yesterday with one of the bigger surprises of the opening round. The Kev-less and Hird-less Essendon faced a more experienced and battle-hardened North Melbourne and, having not beaten the Roos since 2001, lost non-handballing superboot Scott Lucas to injury and then fell behind by 27 points early in the second quarter.

World of trouble, right? But by full time, the Bombers had piled on 17 goals to three and Matty Knights was a coaching genius. Footy observers liked what they saw but a quick look at the draw reveals Essendon has a Sunday meeting with premiers Geelong. Enjoy your genius status for now Knighter…

Coming up this week…

Brisbane v Collingwood: A rare Friday night game from the rugby league state and Jono Brown needs help in front of goal. If the Broncos aren’t playing that night, perhaps they should give Darren Lockyer a call!

Melbourne v Western Bulldogs: Forget Brad Johnson’s late-game heroics – anything less than a ten-goal hiding this week would be a fairytale result for the Dees!

Adelaide v West Coast: The Crows may need to work on their interchange in order to avoid any final-minute Bock-ups this week.

Fremantle v Hawthorn: The Dockers look old and slow…maybe this week they will pick a guy who is in his early-to-mid twenties…

St Kilda v Carlton:The Saints should manage more than 51 points this week…and that’s just the first quarter alone! At least Juddy and Luke Ball can exchange dodgy groin stories while Riewoldt, Kossie and co. line up for goal.

Sydney v Port Adelaide: Will the Swans persist with the controversial “tunnelling” tactic? If it would help the viewers stay awake during a Swans game, we are all for it!

Geelong v Essendon: After Monday’s result, this game just got a whole lot more interesting…but that could change quickly once the Cats get stuck into the young Bombers.

Richmond v Kangaroos: It’s the Eureka game– well, that will be the cry if the Tiges actually manage to win two games in a row. Kevin Bartlett might have still been playing the last time they did that!

A quick stroll down Media Street: