Tag Archives: Warren Tredrea

Round Eight – Give Us A Cuddle!

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Collingwood’s season is TEETING? Nice work by the Herald Sun! Sure, most people think that the Pies suck at the moment but teeting could be going a little too far…

Wow, it was probably confusing enough that journo Mark Robinson described Collingwood’s indifferent season as “teetering, a whiff from being pole-axed by the winds of mediocrity, uncertainly and the unlucky”. Um…what the f&!# does that mean exactly? No wonder the person responsible for providing the headline for this online article used the word “teeting”. With an opening sentence like that, the heading writer probably thought that teetering must have been a typo as it was the only part that made any real sense! Gotta love the Herald Sun, don’t you?

Ah….don’t you?

Speaking of love, there was plenty of it on display during round eight. Not the distatsefully outnumbered NRL version of love – no, in the nice way. Buddy Love had his admirers out in force at Subiaco, Carlton dished out some tough love on the Pies, Jason Akermanis is loving his own work so much that he wants to play forever and Mike Sheahan is having lusty thoughts about the young Bombers!

But surely the image that captured the love best was this young couple up at Sydney’s ANZ Stadium during the Swans-Eagles match…

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Well, if this goes on during a close, thrilling contest like the Swans-Eagles game, imagine what would happen if the match was a one-sided blowout!

Honestly, there has been way too much stadium talk this season. Not without reason though, with some less fortunate Melbourne clubs suffering at the hands of the MCG and Whatshishead Stadium due to poor financial returns and now Visy Park is being considered as a viable third option in the future. So it’s great to show an image that highlights all that is good about going out to the footy and having yourself a great time…up the back of the grandstand while nobody is watching!

The Games:

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Ok, Buddy might be a nice looking lad but come on ladies…where are the ‘Marry Me Roughy” t-shirts?

Alright, ‘fess up…who else out there tipped Fremantle to beat the team that won the premiership last year? Wrong! Sure, the Hawks have injuries all over the shop and yes, the game was in Perth. But one team is a proven winner…the other is not! And I fell for it again!!! I feel so ashamed…

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Just how valuable is Gary Ablett? Well, it looks like he has police protection wherever he goes!!!

Eight matches for Geelong in 2009 and eight wins…this time a 70-point snoozer against “El Norte de Melburne Canguros” – which is how you say “the North Melbourne Kangaroos” if you are from Argentina! The Roos again wore their Argentine inspired clash strip and they performed just like Diego Maradona…you know, after he was wasted on cocaine and required gastric bypass surgery because he was obese! And, by the way, the best player in the comp should be back in the Cats line-up next week. Gulp!

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Not the best day for the Dogs, barely scraping past Melbourne and losing Robert Murphy to injury. At least Murph can dedicate the next few weeks to his writing…

The result was as expected but the Dogs were not super impressive in defeating Melbourne, who are pretty good at the whole honourable loss thing…now to take the next step into ‘win’ territory. It took a typically smartarsey performance from Jason Akermanis to get the Dogs home – now he wants to keep playing after this season. Sorry but this is the high definition television era…that two-tone head just shouldn’t be broadcast in HD!!!

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Kieran Jack looks as excited as that lovey-dovey couple up the back of the grandstand after kicking the winning goal for the Swans!

What is it with Sydney and West Coast? They just know how to turn on a thriller and they did it again on Saturday night. And this time the hero was young Swan Kieran Jack, the son of rugby league legend Gary Jack…making him the most positive result from a league player having sex! Paul Roos seemed pleased with the win and the contribution from maligned forward Barry Hall while John Worsfold is trying to focus on the positives…one being that Hall didn’t thump Brent Staker in the head this year!

Well, it was kinda boring for a while and one of his players broke his jaw but rookie coach Michael Voss doesn’t give a crap what you think because his team won. Brisbane win their third in a row as they beat the Crows at home and if you could predict the typical cliche that a football coach from Adelaide would use in defeat, it surely be that his side was ‘found wanting’! Well, ‘wanting’ can be pretty hard to find…

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Hey, it’s Warren Tredrea winning the match for Port Adelaide…and this wasn’t from 2004, it was yesterday!

Damn, hasn’t Warren Tredrea come back from the dead this season! And they needed him at his best yesterday as he kicked seven goals and took a match-saving mark as Port snatched a dramatic victory over the luckless Richmond. Terry Wallace showed plenty of composure during the week by not smacking that dumbass Channel Nine jouro in the face…shame his side couldn’t keep their cool yesterday!

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And just when these poor elderly Collingwood supporters thought their afternoon couldn’t get any shittier…now they are being harangued by Ricky O on live TV! Poor dears…

To the joy of many, Collingwood’s season is going downhill fast! Coach Malthouse is trying not to blame the injury toll, though they just keep on happening, and likes the spirit with which his side plays. Still, they never looked like beating Carlton, even with a second straight no-show from Fev. And with every week that Malthouse loses and Michael Voss wins, the Nathan Buckley coaching speculation will just get nuttier and nuttier!

Look at all the love pouring in for Essendon. They were brave! They made St Kilda bleed! They impressed Ross Lyon…not to mention Mr Sheahan! Um, St Kilda led the entire match to win their eighth straight with three days less to prepare than an opponent with nothing to lose. That’s not bad either, you know…

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Round Three – Should Have Laid Off The Choccy Eggs!

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Heath Shaw – seems like a touch…a touch too much!

Talk about having a crappy Easter break! Collingwood’s Heath Shaw would have been feeling sick to his stomach all weekend without the aid of a single chocolate egg (or many of them in succession, like the rest of us!) after his report for touching an umpire last Thursday night. Unfortunate because it was actually Alan Didak who touched the umpire, Shaw was just covering up for him…again!

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Now this is the best way to touch an umpire…gently, respectfully and with a smile!

The matter has been sent straight to the tribunal so it will be a pretty big night there…particularly if there are a few players who elect to contest charges stemming from round three. But while some people in footy might have had a crappy Easter weekend; Heath Shaw, John Worsfold and Terry Wallace immediately spring to mind; it pales into insignificance compared to the anguish that the family and friends of ex-Hawk and footy documentary whiz Rob Dickson must be feeling. How sad…knocks the stuffing out of you, doesn’t it!

The Games:

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Busted nose for Steve Johnson…guess he won’t be able to rely on his looks anymore!

Geelong continue on their merry way as they steamroll Collingwood…causing the normally-obtuse Mick Malthouse to deal in the bleeding obvious. The Pies were made to pay for numerous acts of inaccuracy…which makes you wonder whether Heath Shaw meant to grab the ump’s arm or was actually trying to grab him elsewhere and just plain missed! Bloody skill errors…

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Be it celebrating with teammates or wrestling with opponents, Kossie just can’t stop whacking blokes in the head!

St Kilda could hardly have been more impressive during the opening three rounds, and Nick Riewoldt has yet to really get going. So maybe this is (finally) the year of the Saint? The Eagles looked very average and you can just imagine John Worsfold being so pissed that he would have confiscated every Easter egg from his players on the long flight home to Perth!

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Two weeks ago, Essendon were a crap team and everybody at Windy Hill hated Hayden Skipworth…seems neither of those things are correct.

Carlton’s rise to premiership glory stalls after the Bombers win a classic in front of seventy thousand at the ‘G. If only Fev wasn’t injured, and if only Matthew Lloyd was really finished as a footballer (like he was last year), the result could have been so different. But…it wasn’t! And a big thanks to the bogan footy family who interrupted a quiet Saturday night dinner at the local Chinese restaurant in Warrnambool with random screams of “Go Bombers”. Made my night!

The Sydney Swans were meant to be Brisbane’s bogey side…sure didn’t look like it! The Lions knock off Sydney at home and it seems like the message of Voss is getting through…though if they are really setting themselves for a return to the big time, beating Collingwood at home is a must. And a Friday night as well…rare territory for Brisbane.

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Doesn’t look like Dean Bailey is loving life as Melbourne coach but…

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HE LOVES TO COUNT…AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH!

First we had Lloydy, now Warren Tredrea rises from the Useless AFL Player grave to kick six goals as Port bounce back after a poor showing in Perth last week. But come on – they were playing the Demons at home…as if they weren’t going to romp it in! The only problem they were going to have was with discipline…and yes, they struggled in that area again. The coach will be delighted. No, seriously – he will think it’s unreal! He loves tough guys…

The premiership hangover theory can be discarded too as Hawthorn put injury woes and tragedy aside to win easily over North Melbourne. It ended a miserable week for the Roos, Dean Laidley referring to the scrutiny around the chicken sex video as akin to World War III.  Well, without the global significance, the devastation and the mass killings of soldiers and innocent people, of course! Apart from that, yeah – just like a war…

The Crows did manage to handle their week of scrutiny a little better than the Roos, fighting their way to a good road win against the Dockers. Three rounds in and how many wins do Fremantle have? None! Luckily, coach Mark Harvey has a supporter in the coach that just knocked off his team. Grant Thomas is definitely not a supporter…but that probably works in Harvey’s favour!

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Will the Tigers find inspiration from Richo snorting his glove through his nose and out his mouth? Well, anything is worth a shot for Richmond…

The Western Bulldogs, a top-four team in good form, had a good win yesterday over Richmond, not a top-four team and not in good form. So the outrage and hysteria about the Tigers seems a little over the top and, dare we say it, contrived by media types who need content for the week. But if Terry Wallace is feeling heat now, imagine what he will cop if they fall to the winless Demons this Sunday!

Round 18 – So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye!

Look – the Von Trapp family have reformed! Perhaps the AFL want them to take part in the grand final day entertainment this year…

The final round of the football season used to be the appropriate time for emotional goodbyes and fond (and, occasionally, not-so-fond) farewells. But these days it seems that if you are waiting until round 22 to end your career or attempt to improve the personnel at your football club, then you are just wasting everybody’s time!

We have had it all this week. Old players have given it away so that clubs can give younger guys a taste of senior football while the Tigers decided that it was time for a new football administrator…like, right now! We can also say farewell to the Brendan Fevola contract saga…but relax, you can count on Fev making news for something else. Every…single…day!

Gary Ablett is out again this week…does this mean goodbye to his Brownlow? Andrew Krakouer can say farewell to any hope of an AFL comeback…though it’s not really a laughing matter. And thanks to a stupid New Zealander who actually listened to the stuff that dribbles out of Anthony Mundine’s mouth, we might be saying adieu to the entire salary cap system! That is highly unlikely, of course, but then somebody did take something Mundine said seriously…so anything is possible!

TEAM NEWS

FRIDAY NIGHT

So long, farewell…that holiday to Fiji! Al Clarkson blows five grand on silly umpire spray – that’s a lot of Fiji Bitter

MCG, Melbourne – 7:40pm (local): Collingwood v Hawthorn (SEVEN)

HAWKS by 27: If Hawthorn do get up, will it be ‘so long, farewell…’ to Collingwood’s finals hopes? Personally, we really, really, really hope so…

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

So long, farewell…Melbourne veterans! James McDonald survives for another year…but what about Adem Yze, Russell Robertson and Jeff White?

MCG, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): Essendon v Melbourne (FOX)

BOMBERS by 8: Melbourne will just fail to get win number three but the biggest positive for them will be getting rid of that shithouse silver jumper…that’s the best decision they’ve made all season!

So long, farewell… goal umpire? Seems the Crows benefitted from a forgetful ump last week!

AAMI Stadium, Adelaide – 2:40pm (local): Adelaide v Carlton (TEN)

BLUES by 18: Behind the massive football brain of the Fev and an improved road record, Carlton could find themselves level with the Crows and Pies for a finals spot. Holy crap!

SATURDAY NIGHT

So long, farewell…Kangaroos on the Gold Coast! We are sure it will be…emotional!

Gold Coast Stadium, Gold Coast – 7:10pm (local): North Melbourne v Brisbane (FOX)

ROOS by 18: Unlike Brent Harvey, the Roos top-four chances won’t take a dive this weekend!

So long, farewell…Greg Miller (officially this time!) Caroline Wilson must be thrilled

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 7:10pm (local): Geelong v Richmond (TEN)

CATS by 48: You think Terry Wallace was unhappy with that whole Greg Miller business? Just wait until he sees what Geelong does to Richmond on Saturday night!

SUNDAY

So long, farewell…Adam Goodes? Nobody seems to know if he will play again this season

Manuka Oval, Canberra – 1:10pm (local): Western Bulldogs v Sydney (FOX)

DOGS by 18: A Doggies victory could make things really difficult for Sydney in the final month…and they lack a little entertainment value without the free-wheeling Goodes.

So long, farewell…Warren Tredera! Might need to divert those phone calls while your shoulder heals

Telstra Dome, Melbourne – 2:10pm (local): St Kilda v Port Adelaide (SEVEN)

SAINTS by 38: St Kilda won’t take Port Adelaide lightly…though we are sure they could get away with it because Port have given up anyways!

So long, farewell…Shaun McManus! Now the search is on for the next Freo hate target…there’s plenty of candidates too!

Subiaco, Perth – 2:40pm (local): Fremantle v West Coast (FOX)

DOCKERS by 24: With McManus playing his final game, former coach Damien Drum reckons Fremantle cannot lose? How could anybody be that confident of the Dockers winning anything? This is the losingest club in the whole comp!